Female going through process.

[Someonelkme]

Hello all, first, and thank you for reading and responding.

I'm trying for the process..the first time out I was torn to shreds on the oral board. I didn't give up and tried again. This time I've made it through the physical, background, written, and oral board. Today I have the polygraph. If I make it through that, the last of the process is a Psych eval.

What's been bothering me-I cried at the oral board. I hate it. I realize as a female I have to present myself in a very firm way.

Now this wasn't blubbering, it was a little misty and a face twitch. It was noticed however.

I'm not crying b/c I am scared, or even particularly emotional, really. I just have my heart set on this position. It means a lot to me, and a particular personality flaw is crying when I'm totally involved. I cried at my wedding, at the birth of my children, at my graduation from boot camp.

Obviously I passed-how much do you honestly thinks this hurts me? And does anyone have any tips to avoid it in the future if I don't make the cut this time?

Thank you again for any advice.

[just joe]

I would think the board is gonna wonder if you are gonna cry every time you are sent on a call. Did they tell you that you passed and then you cried, or what?

[Someonelkme]

No I cried, collected myself, and finished the board.

After they had me sit in a room. After a debate ( I could tell by their faces some were against it) I was told I had advanced to the next step, got fingerprinted and my packet for polygraph.

[just joe]

If they passed you to the next step, they passed you to the next step. Obviously, not everybody was in agreement. You need to collect yourself. If you are going to cry everyday in the academy because you're getting yelled at and dropped for push ups, they're gonna send you home.

[Someonelkme]

Thank you. I don't intend to cry every day- I didn't in boot camp either. I can handle that, and I can handle a stress situation pretty well. I just lost it there for some unexplainable reason.

So If I reading right, if I conduct myself in a positive manner from now on I may be able to 'prove' myself. That's fine. I can and will. I just realize I've made the burden of proof that much more by crying on the board, and hate it.

May I ask what you personally do to check emotions when they threaten?

[mikeymedic]

What I do to check emotions is this. Everyone's words and opinions are just that...words. If I encounter something on the street that may be emotional then I just tell myself that the situation is not mine and/or not real. I haven't cried since I was 2 so I have trouble understanding people when they do cry. My wife does it to and I never can understand why some people (not just women) cry at random times.

Good luck on the Poly, answer your questions, there will be no surprise questions, they will usually break them up into 2 control questions, and then 4 questions from your background before you can rest. You will sometimes do the same questions twice at 2 different times usually after the first or second rest period.

[Someonelkme]

Thank you. It's hard to put that perspective into it when it's all the stuff you've worked for, and these people have the power to turn you away.

I am on pins and needles after the poly. He said he didn't note any panic or huge deception, but he also didn't say I passed.

O.o

[Presence 1*]

How old are you?

I understand getting so involved with something that it makes you choke up, I've been there before. The trick is to realize when it starts to happen, and to make it stop happening. Take a deep breath, look up to the sky - it helps to stop the tears from forming. I'm not sure why.

Try to pinpoint situations that make you do this. You should try to train yourself to respond differently. Smiling helps too.

[Someonelkme]

Too old to cry at it. If i get the green light on the poly then all that's left is the psych.

Thank you for all your suggestions. I will keep them-and keep trying.

[Blue Breed]

Crying? Well I have to say that I would be one saying not to let you move forward. If an oral interview gets you emotional to the point you cry then how do you expect to handle yourself and situations on the road? You are going to see tragedy when you get into this field. Whether it be a bad car accident or having to go notify someone of a death. How do you expect to handle yourself when it involves crimes against children? How do you expect to handle situations when you yourself cant keep it together?

[Smurfette_76]

Oh, step off with that BS, blue breed. You cried, someone, that's it. I'm not going to ask what got you choked up because its irrelevant. I'm a woman that when I'm furious, I get tears in my eyes...no, I'm not crying but I know it looks like that. I got teary eyed on my oral when a specific subject came up. I've cried on scenes, I've cried with victims, I've cried with families on death notifications. Crying is NO indication you can't keep it together...it's often an indication that you're freaking human.

You've been through boot camp, you can handle this. Chin up, tits out...go do it.

[KapsFB]

Oh, step off with that BS, blue breed. You cried, someone, that's it. I'm not going to ask what got you choked up because its irrelevant. I'm a woman that when I'm furious, I get tears in my eyes...no, I'm not crying but I know it looks like that. I got teary eyed on my oral when a specific subject came up. I've cried on scenes, I've cried with victims, I've cried with families on death notifications. Crying is NO indication you can't keep it together...it's often an indication that you're freaking human.

You've been through boot camp, you can handle this. Chin up, tits out...go do it.

Someonelkme, much emphasis on the last bit of advice

Seriously though, very well said.

[just joe]

"You've been through boot camp, you can handle this. Chin up, tits out...go do it."

I love that line.

I can't tell you what I do because I've never really had a problem with it. Some will view it as a sign of weakness, some will view it as basic human compassion. If you do your job and do it well, it gives other people a lot less room to talk smack about you.

[SleepyCop]

Crying? Well I have to say that I would be one saying not to let you move forward. If an oral interview gets you emotional to the point you cry then how do you expect to handle yourself and situations on the road? You are going to see tragedy when you get into this field. Whether it be a bad car accident or having to go notify someone of a death. How do you expect to handle yourself when it involves crimes against children? How do you expect to handle situations when you yourself cant keep it together?

Ya, we don't cry because we're so tough, nothing can hurt us!

Seriously, anyone who says that they've never cried after something ****ed up is full of it. I've done it before, and I'm no less of a cop, or a man. If you try and bottle your emotions up all the time with this job, you're going to either eat a gun, or drink yourself to death.

And people wonder why our suicide rates are so high...

-SC

[marty33]

Everyone has emotions, and police are human too. But crying in the bright, comfortable, sterile environment of an oral board? I think thats a little much and an indicator of some type of emotional instability.

No one should bottle up their emotions, and Lord knows there will be times when you feel like crying. You have to be able to maintain your professionalism at the scene, in public, with victims or with offenders. This means keeping your emotions in check while you have a job to do.

If the oral board moved you to tears, you will be bawling every day on the street.