Need advice from a Police Officer (Long)

[Sixil]

Hi,
Im 19 years old and currently going to college and trying to transfer away from my town to stay away at school.

My question is about my group of friends. Ive known these guys forever, but since the end of senior year all they have wanted to do is smoke pot and party. They take dangerous risks with driving under the influence almost all the time. They use to listen to me when I would say that its a bad idea, but since then they have just started to say "relax its fine."

I have tried pot, and i am not proud of it. When we go and hangout that is almost ALWAYS what they want to do. I refuse to do it with them, so most of the time I just sit there bored while they say stupid **** that you can only be high to understand.

At the end of my High School career I decided that I want to try and be a Police Officer, and that thought hasnt changed. My friends are aware of it and don't really mind, but they dont understand how important keeping my record clean is to me so that I can get the job. They almost always have pot on them, so I refuse to drive them anywere because I wont have that in my car, in an already "hot to Police" vehicle (Camaro z28 ) So my other friend drives, and Im almost always stuck sitting through their drug deals in sketchy places with people that look like they are contributing nothing to society. Im so worried that a Cop will arrive when they are doing that and I would get in trouble even though I was just there to hang out with my friends. Guilty by association?

I have started to stop hanging out more and more with those two friends because of the path that they are going down and fear of my record. I have started taking on more hours at work (Mechanic garage / gas station) just to avoid hanging out with them, or spending a lonely boring night at home with my mom and sister. Once I cant stand the boredom, I usually just call them up and start the vicious cycle all over again.

Recently, I have started being great friends with two guys I knew my entire school career. They are drug free ( Though we do participate in underage drinking in safe non-driving circumstances) They treat their girlfriends excellently and have a great sense of humor, I have a great time with them, and even better they don't just sit around in one spot and get stoned.

My one concern with these guys is we like to go out and do stupid ****. By this I mean taking my friends Jeep with huge tires and go offroading in probably illegal places, and other funny stuff such as going to a construction site at night and tipping over a porta-potty, and stealing a street sign. Its pretty hilarious though probably illegal. The problem with that is, Im constantly concerned about my record. We all are automotive fanatics and drive fast cars, and it really sucks having to take crap from the guys when I wont do 120 mph in my car just because it can. Its not worth the consequences and damage to my record for me.

I always have these concerns in the back of my mind and I feel kind of stuck. I could stay at home bored and alone, or go out with my friends and have a good time doing stupid stuff, yet taking a risk. Im working hard on trying to transfer out away to college to be in a new atmosphere and hopefully make new friends, but it is still awhile until I am able to do so.

I apologize if it seems like I am rambling.

What do you all suggest would be the best way to handle my situation?

Alex

[School Cop]

Relax. Don't worry about it any more. You're already done in most places, if you've sat through drug deals.

On second thought, you're probably fake. I can't see anyone over the age of 12 thinking repeated overturning of PortaPotties is "hilarious." I'm throwing the flag.

[PhilipCal]

Need Advice.

Alex, you need to make a decision, and you need to make it soon. Keep on hanging out with that crew, and it's only a matter of time before all of you are enroute to the local lock-up. What is readily apparent to me, is that these guys couldn't care less about you, so why should you care about them? Don't hand me this crap about being high school buddies, and all that. It doesn't mean a rusty flip to them if your life is screwed up. My friend, this would true even if you had no law enforcement ambitions. It becomes even more critical since you indicate you want to be an Officer. At this point in time, I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole, if I were doing the hiring for an agency. You note that you don't like to spend your free time alone. Okay, why not find some new friends? Some people who won't have you looking over your shoulder, worried about the cops showing up during a drug deal. Being present at one of those transactions could already be a DQ. And, for what? Because you didn't have the guts to disassociate yourself from these clowns!! Alex, you and your pals had better have a parting of the ways, and I mean, soon. Your ambitions to be an Officer may already be down the tubes. Keep on hanging out with these guys, and it will be.

[SgtScott31]

Find new friends....it may suck initially, but there are plenty more out there.

[Redders]

Relax. Don't worry about it any more. You're already done in most places, if you've sat through drug deals.

On second thought, you're probably fake. I can't see anyone over the age of 12 thinking repeated overturning of PortaPotties is "hilarious." I'm throwing the flag.

Only if the portapottie is occupied........

[jakflak]

You may have already DQ'd yourself, you may not have. However, one way or the other you have to change friends and let some time pass.

It may not be easy, but it really is as simple as that.

[Smurfette_76]

Let me get this straight. You and your two new buddies are having fun committing larceny, vandalism, and damage to property...all the while you're knowing that 1) you can get caught and 2) that you want to be a cop. Okie dokie. So you're going to sit in front of a BI in a few years and admit not only did you break the law, but that you did so with clear understanding and intent and decided at 19 to continue to break the law because "it's fun." you honest to God think that you're going to be a cop? You're going to be around blue lights, sirens, and squad cars, but I predict it will be as a defendant, not as a cop...you, quite frankly, don't have ability to do what's right for the sake of doing what's right...you're immature, a criminal, and w/o consideration for the monetary value you're costing other people.

And btw, changing your environment won't help when it's YOU that has the problem.

[Sixil]

Philipcal, SGTscott13, and Jakflak. Thanks for the only real responses. Ill take your words to heart.

Smurfette_76, In my honest opinion you need to get off your high horse.

If you would actually read my post and not be so quick to put me down, you would see that I am not the problem and that changing my environment and getting new friends is EXACTLY what I need. Does it seem like I completly enjoy what Ive been having to deal with? Why would I even be here making this post.

Also, I should make a note. All of the things that my friends do, they do themselves. I have not done any of the above myself except for watch and ride along. Even if they are commiting a crime of some sort, most of the time Ill still find it humerous, I cant lie. Im also a comedian in my free time

Most of the time I am the only voice of reason with these people. Almost all the time I prevent them from doing somthing blatently illegal, mean or anything else. So calling me immature, a criminal, and all of the above just dosent apply to me, even if you would like it to. You do not know me and shouldnt judge me as dirt just because you work with dirt all day.

And to quote "you honest to God think that you're going to be a cop? You're going to be around blue lights, sirens, and squad cars, but I predict it will be as a defendant, not as a cop...you, quite frankly, don't have ability to do what's right for the sake of doing what's right" Yes, honest to god I would like to be a cop. Part of the decision is based on all of the things I have seen and delt with in my life. While I may already be possibly DQed, im still going to give it my best shot. If you think I am a bad person, you are god awefully mistaken.

Alex

[CruiserClass]

Move. If you keep hanging around the same guys you're going to end up the same way. Go away to college, join the military, just do something to get some real life experience and find a way to start fresh around new people.

I wasn't tipping over port-a-lets, but I was driving a Z28 and being young and foolish once and it worked out for me in the end. At least you're starting to see the problems. Now fix them.

With toungue half-way in cheek, if you get on with your local PD you already know where to start with narcotics busts...

[Smurfette_76]

Alex,

I'll quote from atop my high horse:

"My one concern with these guys is we like to go out and do stupid ****.

We, in english, is plural and that means that you've participated. In addition, being there and not leaving, in most states, will net you the same as if you did the crime yourself. It matters not too much that you didn't actually steal the sign, tear up the yard, tip over the porta-potty or whatnot...you are an accessory and the punishment is often the same.

Once you've done some growing up, you'll see the flaws in saying that changing your environment will solve your problem. That's an excuse. If you'd stop getting your feelings hurt over honest criticism, you'd have the ability to sit for a second and see yourself four,five, six years from now telling a BI all this mess...I'll be surprised if you're not wanting to kick yourself in the rear end for even willingly being around people that are breaking the law. What you are doing is damaging your future....but it's not like you're going to listen. You're willing to tell someone that you want to be a cop and that you actively participated (at an age well past the time to know right from wrong) in breaking the law.

You're 19 and you've got a lot to learn about accepting personal responsibility. If you think I'm on a high horse then it's proving that you're only willing to listen to those that will pander to your immaturity...I'm telling you how it is based on having done BIs and having grown beyond instant gratification. And if I've hurt your feelings, well then bless your heart...come back in 10 years and tell me I was wrong. Remember clearly what you wrote here...and everytime it bites you in the butt, remember just how "right" you are.

[Sixil]

CruiserClass, thanks for the encouragement

Smurf, Ok Ill listen, you made some good points. Yes, since I was at the scene of everything that had happened I am guilty by association, But my whole point of this topic was to get out of all of this and to see what anyone suggests. While I do find some of the stuff funny, I dont like being there because it is illegal and none of it is somthing that I would ever choose to do on my own time. It just feels so much better to be out of the drug environment and have friends that only do this illegal stuff once in awhile. Its much more bearable to me. I live in such a small town, and it seems that everyone my age is into drugs and highly illegal things which is why it feels like I cannot make any new friends around here, hence why I want to move so badly. In other words I just feel trapped.

Also, what is a BI?

[pujolsfan146]

Smurfette_76, In my honest opinion you need to get off your high horse.

Actually. No she doesn't. She is right on the money. You say you want to be a police officer but your actions don't prove it. It might be your opinion but it sure isn't honest.

This sounds more like a phase for you. You will either realize you want this job and act appropriately or you will come to the realization, for you, that playing pranks and having fun is more important.

[pujolsfan146]

While I do find some of the stuff funny, I dont like being there because it is illegal and none of it is somthing that I would ever choose to do on my own time. It just feels so much better to be out of the drug environment and have friends that only do this illegal stuff once in awhile. Its much more bearable to me. I live in such a small town, and it seems that everyone my age is into drugs and highly illegal things which is why it feels like I cannot make any new friends around here, hence why I want to move so badly. In other words I just feel trapped.

Also, what is a BI?

Do you really lack the discipline in your life to seperate yourself from these situations? If you think moving will help out you are greatly mistaken. You will only gravitate towards these types of people at a new location.
I can't begin to recall how many people I have arrested that have made mention of moving to a new location because they are tired of the cops harrasing them.
What they really meant to say was they are tired of police officers catching them in illegal acts and they want to move to a place where they can still commit these same acts and in this location hopefully law enforcement will not do anything about it.

Background investigation.

[Sixil]

Alright, looks like I have alot of thinking and soul searching to do. Thanks for all the advice.

stay safe.

[PhilipCal]

Alright, looks like I have alot of thinking and soul searching to do. Thanks for all the advice.

stay safe.

Alex, unless you make some good decisions, and I mean real soon, you're going to all this thinking and soul searching in the slammer. Your rationalization for your conduct is beyond belief. Smurfette nailed your situation, and you took exception. Guess what? Smurf's a cop,and you're not. She's not high horsing you, she's telling it like it is. There's a good chance you've already blown any shot you ever had at being an Officer. Strange as it may sound, I wish you the best. At present, I don't consider you Officer material, and as has been noted, you could very well have already blown any shot you may have had at being a cop. Keep hanging around with these "buddies" of yours, and you'll be doing serious time with them.