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How does the job effect you?

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  • How does the job effect you?

    I have heard of police officers becoming "numb", "cold" and having some problems in a few aspects of life eg sexually, friends ect. I cant imagin going home after seeing a car accident were someone died and being happy to make love to my girlfriend.

    Does anyone here feel effected my their job in any negitive ways?

  • #2
    Depends on the individual and how they handle it. I've been doing this for 15 years in a large city and fortunately for me, I feel I have a great family life with the benefits included.

    I think with any profession, you will have your demons if you don't take care of yourself. I tend to leave my work at the "office" and not at home. But having a good wife I can communicate to, is healthy as well.

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    • #3
      Don't take it home with you!!!

      I don't take the job home with me. I don't own a scanner, I don't talk shop with buddies who are not cops, and I don't answer L.E questions off duty. Although the latter is hard because everyone is always interested what we do. And mostly I hug and kiss my wife and children each and every night and thank god we're not as screwed up as many of the people we deal with on a daily basis.

      "In valor there is hope"

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      • #4
        It does make you a bit "cold" as in desensitized.

        After autopsies, we used to go to a taco place right down the street from the ME's office. Great food.

        I also think the laughter and joking at a tragic scene makes for great coping. Just don't want to crack up in front of the public though.

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        • #5
          I know its made me callous, cynical, and unfeeling.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by midmichigancop
            I don't take the job home with me. I don't own a scanner, I don't talk shop with buddies who are not cops, and I don't answer L.E questions off duty. Although the latter is hard because everyone is always interested what we do. And mostly I hug and kiss my wife and children each and every night and thank god we're not as screwed up as many of the people we deal with on a daily basis.

            "In valor there is hope"


            I couldnt agree more....if its a big call or graphic.....I talk for about 10 minutes with my wife about it (leaving out the graphic details)....and then leave it at work.....but I believe MIDMICHIGANCOP sums it up best with what he wrote....
            What would Dirty Harry do in a situation like this???

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            • #7
              Once your eyes are open to the way the real world works you can never go back. You may remain the same person, you may change, but your outlook on life in general will forever be different then those who have not witnessed what your eyes have observed.

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              • #8
                I was just wondering this because i know a guy whos father is a retired high ranking officer in toronto. He is allways seeing counclers and has nitemares.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Darkwulfe
                  Once your eyes are open to the way the real world works you can never go back. You may remain the same person, you may change, but your outlook on life in general will forever be different then those who have not witnessed what your eyes have observed.
                  I agree 100%

                  As far as discussing things, I rarely talk to my wife about what I do or see. I talk about it with my "police" friends. I look at it as my burden to bare. Why should she have extra worries and fears. But that is just me. When I worked at the Transit company I never told her about drunks that I had gotten into fights with, or that someone nearly took my head off with a bottle, or spit on me, etc, either.

                  Work is work.. home is home... I hate mixing the two..

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                  • #10
                    the job has turned me into: "IKE TURNER " with a badge.....
                    " if you talk in your sleep, don't mention my name....
                    " if you walk in your sleep, forget where you came....

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                    • #11
                      Its made me happy because I love the job. It's very hard on the family life due to schedules. As far as seeing graphic scenes, it's not as bad as whay you might think because you don't know the person. I did go out and buy a new car with side impact airbags, and every safety feature possible. This was due to seeing serious traffic collisions, and I didn't want my family being hurt like the ones I had seen.

                      It does change your life though. Even off duty I'm always aware of my surrondings, and who is standing next to my gun side. What city I am in, and if I have the local PD or SO programed into my cell phone. The "what ifs". Among other things, I don't drive home from work the same way all the time either.

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                      • #12
                        No matter what happens at work, coming home to snuggle with the lady of the house is the best medicine. She makes 'it all go away'.

                        That, and going to church every sunday helps cope with some of the 'other' things I do while in the course of my duties.

                        That's my sanity and that's who keeps me in reality.

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                        • #13
                          29+ years on the job (3rd shift patrol,thnks to my lt.) has made me cynical and anti-social. when i get home the last thing i want to do is see my fellow cops or watch cop shows. Then why am I here? ifound the website about a week ago & thought the whole thing was too damn good to pass up.

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                          • #14
                            I always tried to not take the job home with me. The main complaint my family had after I had been LEO for awhile was that I didn't trust people. I still don't.

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                            • #15
                              As most others have said I try to leave work at work. Seeing death and graphic scenes are part of the job, and one has to learn to cope in any way that they can. I often times joke about it and that helps, but I do think it does change you in some way.

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