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  • ask a security guard

    If anyone has any "ask a security guard" questions then fire away. i used to work security. Questions may enclude anything about sitting at a desk for 8 hours, how to make sure a door is properly locked, how to write a meaningless trespassing warning to a crack head and/or vagrent,how to not pee your pants when working in a dark haunted courthouse building from 12a to 8 p

  • #2
    when i stop laughing i'll post something.

    Comment


    • #3
      Here is some questions for you.

      Why do you guys always watch football and basketball games while on duty. YOUR POST TO BE WORKING.

      Every movie I have seen you guys are eating pizza, I thought cop wanna-be's stuck to donuts.

      This is only a joke, you DON'T need to answer these.

      Comment


      • #4
        u asked for it

        One question: Which pocket do you keep your bullet in???

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        • #5
          Why are your shirt and pants 2 different shades of navy blue?

          Why do all of you wear lieutenant or captain

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          • #6
            Why does the guard in our downtown area scare me and look at me meanacingly when I go to get coffee with my partner in uniform (non-sworn)?

            Why do so many of them in this area wear giant pimp sunglasses and rival General Burnside for facial hair?
            Hail hail the gang's all here, when the going gets tough I know my friends will still be there. - Drop Kick Murphys, "The Gang's all Here"

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by aroc
              If anyone has any "ask a security guard" questions then fire away. i used to work security. Questions may enclude anything about sitting at a desk for 8 hours, how to make sure a door is properly locked, how to write a meaningless trespassing warning to a crack head and/or vagrent,how to not pee your pants when working in a dark haunted courthouse building from 12a to 8 p

              LMAO


              That was pretty funny.
              Disclaimer: The writer does not represent any organization, employer, entity or other individual. The first amendment protected views/commentary/opinions/satire expressed are those only of the writer. In the case of a sarcastic, facetious, nonsensical, stirring-the-pot, controversial or devil's advocate-type post, the views expressed may not even reflect those of the writer.

              Comment


              • #8
                Are the various red sauce stains on the front of the shirt an insignia of rank?

                Comment


                • #9
                  What is your pursuit policy regarding skateboarders?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by toby101
                    Why do you guys always watch football and basketball games while on duty. YOUR POST TO BE WORKING.
                    I guess learning the difference between "post" and "supposed" doesn't hold as much facination for people anymore, so games make up for it.
                    You have no right to not be offended.-Neal Boortz

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Centurion44
                      I guess learning the difference between "post" and "supposed" doesn't hold as much facination for people anymore, so games make up for it.
                      I think we need to get you a Hall Monitor sash.
                      Hail hail the gang's all here, when the going gets tough I know my friends will still be there. - Drop Kick Murphys, "The Gang's all Here"

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I used to work in security management so I'll tackle some of these!


                        Originally posted by Groundhog
                        Why are your shirt and pants 2 different shades of navy blue?
                        Because Security companies are incredibly cheap and they went with lowest possible bid regardless of anything else when they bought uniforms. Not only are all of the uniforms reused as people come and go from the job, none of them seem to know how to do their laundry properly.


                        [QUOTE=Groundhog]Why do all of you wear lieutenant or captain

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                        • #13
                          Can you drop your flashlight and call the police in one split second ?????
                          This without using pepper spray on yourself

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Is it true that there's a weight limit for female security guards- they can't be under 200 lbs?


                            (I kid, I kid.....)
                            Disclaimer: The writer does not represent any organization, employer, entity or other individual. The first amendment protected views/commentary/opinions/satire expressed are those only of the writer. In the case of a sarcastic, facetious, nonsensical, stirring-the-pot, controversial or devil's advocate-type post, the views expressed may not even reflect those of the writer.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I just had to post!

                              How much lipstick does a 13 y/o girl at the mall have to steal before you cuff her & haul her to the office?
                              That's right, bring me my royal coffee!

                              Comment

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