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  • Anticipating

    some flames perhaps, but hoping for some honest advice. I promise I'm not a Strawberry, or a blueberry, or any type of berry, for that matter.

    About six months ago, I left my ex-boyfriend and the aftermath became quite ugly- resulting in his arrest for assault and filing of a TRO. The local police were incredibly supportive and helpful throughout the process. I took the advice I was given, sought out support, pressed charges and never looked back.

    Fast forward to now: I was cooking dinner one night a few weeks ago, and heard screaming outside. Nutshell: a domestic situation happening beside my driveway. The guy drove away when I told him to back off and that police were coming, and I talked with the girl and stayed with her until police came. I gave them the information they needed about the guy's car and what I had seen and heard, and then left everyone alone and went back to my porch.

    One of the officers walked up the driveway and spotted me; he came over to say he thought this was my house when he pulled up. He was one of the officers I remember helping me when I filed against my ex - I couldn't believe he remembered me from that long ago, let alone my house (since I filed everything at the station)! Anyhow, I walked back down the driveway while chatting and was a little caught up in the situation (at that point, the poor girl had hugged me and was crying on me.) He left, and the other officers remaining, (finishing the report, I guess), elbowed me and said that I must not like cops, then they left as well.

    I admit to being oblivious- the situation that had happened was like deja vu and quite unsettling for me- but I wished I had noticed! Problem- I don't know who he is, (and no- he didn't file my original reports.) Above that, while I'm sure I can find out who he is in this rather small town, how to reach him in a friendly way without putting him on the spot?

    I'm not scouting available cops - I just would like to get to know this one. I know you all are just people, after all, but hitting on a cop just seems difficult.

    Opinions much appreciated.

  • #2
    Send me your pic and email and I may just let you practice on me...
    "He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still"

    -Lao Tzu

    "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

    -Reinhold Niebuhr


    • #3
      I would suggest going to the police department and speaking with their records dept. Just tell them the situation and you never got a chance to thank the officer and you would like to know his name (perhaps to write a letter of appreciation). Not telling you what to do, but it sounds less creepy than "I just want to get to know him better".

      Many cops look foward to getting positive letters. For me personally, it offsets all those pesky compliants from dirtbags.

      Hope this helps.
      You have no right to not be offended.-Neal Boortz


      • #4
        Thinking the records

        idea may not apply because of what happened. I don't know much about any operating or reporting procedures, but he and his partner were the last car (of 3) to respond. They didn't stay long, just talked briefly with the other officers, then me, and then left. The police that arrived in the first car stayed with the girl the whole time; the second car left to find the guy.

        I don't think it would be difficult to find out *who* he is, (Fire Chief who lives next door knows everyone in town), but what to say when I do? All I would really want to do is convey interest and leave it up to him.

        Speaking of thank you's, it's something that's not done enough. With what happened before, I can't tell you the feelings you go through as a woman to be sitting there, bruised up, beaten, and crying, filing charges. Besides being in complete shock, it's embarrassing to have that happen to you and sit in your local station, having everyone who passes stare at you. The pictures are worse, seeing for yourself what this person who claims to love you has done to you. Having a few officers show the kind of patience, kindness and compassion that they did made all the difference. I sent a thank-you card and have never forgotten it.

        Regarding practice hitting on cops...*laugh*. I guess it's the fact that there's no easy way to approach, so to speak.


        • #5
          Don't date cops, were overzealous, demanding, and never home. We work a lot of overtime, and make minimum wage.

          Find yourself a good man look for firemen.

          Good Luck and Test Well!
          Author of: How to become a peace officer by Wayne LeQuang (google it)

          L.B.P.D. Academy #75
          6 month of pain, for a 30 year career.

          visit: youtube.com "Black Monday" Great Video from LASD.


          • #6
            STFU Wayne- Hose sniffers get chicks without your help.

            If you can find out who the guy is, I suggest sending him an email if his dept has email. Most departments nowadays have a website with officer's emails. Since it's going through the department, I wouldn't do anything so blunt. But maybe just have him give you a call or something.

            Many officers, myself included, avoid asking women out while in uniform. For one, it may be against department policy because, two, it's unprofessional. However, most cops are at the very least flattered if they are asked out.

            It's hard to explain, but after dealing in life and death situations, asking someone on a date isn't that big of a deal- so don't make it as such.

            My only concern is after you coming out of a violent relationship be sure you're interest in the guy is genuine and not just a target of co-dependancy.

            Hope this helps.
            You have no right to not be offended.-Neal Boortz


            • #7
              I have no advice, but can tell you what happened to me, so maybe that will help you figure out what to do. I work for a small department (7 officers, pop. 3000). I met my girlfriend at our hospital, she did a legal blood draw on an OWI arrest. She was interested at the time (so she says) however I was busy and wasn't paying attention (obviously). Anyway, she asked around about me and my status, and then called me right at my office a week or so later (I work third shift and was alone).

              It didn't bother me at all, and I was quite flattered. She was pretty quick to the point. She introduced herself, reminded me that we had met at the hosptial, and simply asked if I would like to go out sometime. The rest is history.
              "I only had a couple!"


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