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  • my BIG mouth...

    What is the funniest or maybe funny and inappropriate thing you have said or heard in a given Law Enforcement situation that later bit you in the butt, or at least it damn well should have!?

    Mine: Back in the early 90's I got tired of hearing "Scheit man, you stopped me because i'm black"

    My reply, which was completely off the cuff was, "no actually tonight is hispanic night, you just got in the way.

    Yes it bit me in the ***, but on the 3 days off, I got the garage cleaned.

  • #2
    I have replied to that line with, "Your just saying that cuz I'm white so stop being ignorant," numerous times. Never got bit because of it. I just think people are dumb........but what do I know.

    I have responded to, "You are just trying to get your end of the month quota, thats why your giving me a ticket," with, "Yup, three more tickets and my wife gets a toaster." Unfortunately that one did bite me in the *** so I only said it once. Thing is, I heard it from another cop and thought it would be cool to try. He never got called on it, but the first time I tried it............sh** luck.
    "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil, is for good men to do nothing." - Edward Burke

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    • #3
      When I was on the PD I was dealing with this xtra mouthy ***** on a traffic stop. The kind of guy that just rubs you wrong on every level. Mostly he was just trying to impress his girlfriend. I ask him to step out of the vehicle and step to the rear figuring if I remove the audience he would calm down. He continued being a ***** just a little louder. I got a little frustrated and decided to knock him down a few pegs. Not in my most glorious moment I decided to hit him on the masculinity front and very inquisitively asked him "so whats the deal with your earrings man? Are you only half gay or just enjoy your wearing mommy's things"?

      Luckily the chief was understanding, after taking a few pounds out of my hind quarter. Needless to say I haven't let some maggot bait me like that again.
      The only thing we have to fear is change itself.

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      • #4
        When someone said, "You just stopped me because I'm black", I had a partner that would say, "You are absolutely correct, never mind that you were (insert offense here), I like stopping black people just because I can." They didn't know what to say to that. Never mind that the city where I work is 85% black. Never got jammed up for it though.

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        • #5
          I always tell them, "The problem isn't what color you are, the problem is YOU!" That usually shuts them up, and has never come back to bite me.

          In response to accusations of trying to meet a quota, I'd say, "No, that's been changed. I can now write as many of these as I want!" Got that from the movie "The New Centurions."
          Never make a drummer mad- we beat things for a living!

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          • #6
            My response

            My response to being asked that stupid uneducated question is : Your only saying that because I'm white !.

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            • #7
              With us, it's been "go ahead, plead not guilty, I get paid OT to come to court". Chief keeps telling us we can't say that. I guess the Truth hurts.
              Sometimes when I've been accused of being racial or showing prejudice towards someone, I have replied simply, I hate all people equally, and I like persons equally. They usually don't know what to say right away. Some day it will get right in the seat of my pants.
              Jeff
              ____________________________________________
              If You Don't Like The Way I Do My Job, Tell My Shift Supervisor---Wait---I AM The Shift Supervisor!!!!

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              • #8
                The last time I got hit with the "Because I'm Black" garbage, I just looked at the guy and said, "That's the most assinine thing I ever heard. Do you realy think I can pick the one-Black man out of line of cars at 70 miles an hour? That's just plain stupid!" The guy took the ticket without another word.
                Extremism in the pursuit of liberty is no vice. Barry Goldwater

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                • #9
                  You could have said " I've been doing this far too long so save the race card for the rookies if you don't mind".

                  I did use this a month after hitting the streets after working several years in the joint and the guy knew that I wasn'r falling for his bull****.
                  Last edited by Bodie; 09-06-2004, 06:25 PM.

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                  • #10
                    Guy dressed like a '60's hippie:
                    "You'r just doing this (searching him) because of the way I'm dressed!"
                    Me:
                    "Yes sir, because in my experience people dressed like you tend to carry personal amounts of drugs!"
                    Guy:
                    "Oh,...OK."
                    "A man who has nothing which he cares about more than he does about his personal safety is a miserable creature who has no chance of being free, unless made and kept so by the existing of better men than himself."
                    John Stuart Mill

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                    • #11
                      This one just happened. A gas station had filled up with smoke, so the FD responded. Myself and another officer had the 2 entrances to the gas station blocked off. There were 5 engines and a number of the FD's SUV's in the lot, not to mention a building visibly full of smoke and a number of firefighters on the roof. Well, along come these 2 dumb kids. "What's going on?" one of them asks. "Didn't you hear? There's a hurricane coming. The fire department is making sure that the roof is bolted down nice and tight so you'll still be able to get gas after the storm."

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                      • #12
                        What is the funniest or maybe funny and inappropriate thing you have said or heard in a given Law Enforcement situation that later bit you in the butt, or at least it damn well should have!?


                        I was on bike patrol and riding with my squad through a neighborhood. During an arrest of a wanted person, this old man wearing an eye patch began to rant and rave about how we were harassing the community and advised us that he "sees what is going on." A fellow officer looked at him and stated, "How can you see what is going on with only one good eye!"

                        I almost fell off my bike laughing so hard.

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                        • #13
                          I was escorting this inmate to the hospital the other day. This particular guy has been to the ER over 200 times in less then 2 years.

                          As we are leaving, I watch him out of the corner of my eye squat down and then plop down on his butt. I turn to him and say "What the hell are you doing" he says "I tripped over my shackles" I tell him that he was full of s--- and that it was on video camera.

                          However being the "professional" that I am I say to him "Are you hurt? Do you need the doctor to check out your little owie" "Now get the up"

                          This guy has been to the hospital so many times he is now known as "The P---y"

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                          • #14
                            My question is Why did you see him out of the corner of your eye instead of looking at the back of his head.

                            Never let a inmate walk beside you in shackles and NEVER behind you.

                            YOU ALWAYS FOLLOW HIM NO EXCEPTIONS !!!!!!!!!!

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                            • #15
                              My question is Why did you see him out of the corner of your eye instead of looking at the back of his head.

                              Never let a inmate walk beside you in shackles and NEVER behind you.

                              YOU ALWAYS FOLLOW HIM NO EXCEPTIONS !!!!!!!!!!

                              First of all I know how to escort an inmate! What happened was we came out the door of the ER. The inmate was to my front left 3 feet ahead. When we got out the door I pulled my keys and pushed the button to unlock the patrol unit. He slowed down after I pulled my keys and did his little fall on his *** trick.

                              I admit, maybe I wasn't as safe as I should have been. I'll be more careful in the future

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