Top Ten Ways to Convince a Cop You Deserve a Ticket

[Steve Canyon]

Top Ten Ways to Convince a cop you deserve a ticket:

1. Speeding more than 85/65

2. When you stop, jam the brakes real hard. If he hits you
it's his fault, Right?

3. Stop at the edge of the lane, leaving him exactly one foot of shoulder to stand on.

4. Leave your heavily tinted front window all the way up when
the officer approaches, and lower the window only after he raps
on the glass. When you lower the window, make sure your stereo
system is set to the loudest, and that it is playing something
like "Kill the Pigs". Laugh when the sound blast knocks him backward.

5. Before he says the first word, ask him, "What's the problem?"

6. Argue with him - tell him you couldn't have been speeding
because you had the cruise control on.

7. Ask him how he picked you out of all the crowd of speeders around you.

8. Tell him you pay his salary.

9. Tell him you know his boss, the governor, the mayor, or some other prominent person.

10. I don't have a number 10. Anyone want to add to this list?

[John Sharp]

10. Hello ossifer

[LockDown]

I don't have any doughnuts, why did you pull ME over?

[Curt581]

11. Ask the officer to hold your beer while you get your license out of your wallet.

12. (If you're male) Tell the officer, "Oooo, I just love the tall motorcycle boots. They're soooo butch".

13. (If you're female) Stuff your purse under your blouse, and tell the officer you're in labor.

14. (either sex) Cry.

15. (either sex) Unbutton your shirt to expose more of your chest.

16. Forget to set your emergency brake in your stick shift car, while stopped on a hill.

17. Roll your window down only one inch, push your license through mail-slot fashion, and tell the officer to speak louder.

18. Rummage through your purse for five full minutes, while the officer stands waiting in pouring rain.

19. As soon as the officer greets you and asks for your license, pull out your cell phone, call 911, and ask to speak to Internal Affairs.

20. Tell the officer that you happen to be a traffic attorney, and he doesn't have the balls to cite you.

*Note: I've had each one of these happen to me. #13 left the purse straps hanging out. #16 paid for a new grill for a Crown Victoria. #20 went to trial Pro se and lost.

[Welpe]

21. Never actually stop the car, but let it continue rolling forward.

[VSUMarco]

22. As soon as pulled over, get out of your car and start walking quickly towards his cruiser with hands in pocket (NOT RECOMMENDED) LOL.

[rebbryan]

Originally posted by John Sharp
10. Hello ossifer

Hippy: "Whew! I was sure he was gonna ask what was in the brown bag!"
Officer: "I'm still here"

[Welpe]

Originally posted by VSUMarco
22. As soon as pulled over, get out of your car and start walking quickly towards his cruiser with hands in pocket (NOT RECOMMENDED) LOL.

The thread isn't titled "The Fastest Ways to get Proned Out"!!

[Bodie]

ANYBODY feel bad this guy got another ticket and is no under suspension ????

Officer, The judge said I would never have a license again so how can I possibly hand it over to you today ??

[kirch]

Also all from personal experience:

23. Call me a liar.

24. Tell me I couldn't tell how fast you were going because your radar detector never went off.

25. Have your radar detector prominently placed on your dash.

26. Have a sticker on your driver's side window that says, "I'M REPRESENTED...Pre-Paid Legal Services" (It won't prevent you from getting a citation -- it'll just ensure I write a really good report)

[jnojr]

"I couldn't have been doing 70! My cars shimmies at 64!"

[jnojr]

Originally posted by Welpe
21. Never actually stop the car, but let it continue rolling forward.

Wait until the officer exits his vehicle or dismounts the motorcycle, then pull forward. When they scramble back in/on, stop. Repeat until you're amused enough to tide you over for the next few days.

[eyerish101]

say " i thought cops had to be in good shape" .... ticket

[Steve Canyon]

Originally posted by John Sharp
10. Hello ossifer

Thought about adding that one in, but decided not to.

I see you are from Tennessee, and are a veteran. Veteran what, military, LEO? During my travels through TN, seems to me that the drivers toed the mark a little better with regard to speed, than they do here in SC. What do you think?

[Curt581]

Originally posted by Steve Canyon
Thought about adding that one in, but decided not to.

I see you are from Tennessee, and are a veteran. Veteran what, military, LEO? During my travels through TN, seems to me that the drivers toed the mark a little better with regard to speed, than they do here in SC. What do you think?

The "veteran" is a designation on this site. It refers to the number of posts made. Check your own. It says "Forum Rookie". It just means you haven't made very many posts yet.