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How to convince family on my job choice?

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  • How to convince family on my job choice?

    Hi all,
    (this gonna be a wordy post. Sorry in advance! Hear me out though)
    I'm on this forum because I'm obviously interested in LE work. My parents are vehemently opposed it the idea. A bit of background: My mother's brother was a cop in their hometown. He worked there his whole career; patrol to investigations, K9, started the SWAT team and ended in his career as a LT or Sargent or something. She doesn't talk about him much - their relationship was apparently awful. From what she's told me, he got real cynical and jaded after a few years on the job.

    She doesn't want me to end up like him or risk my life with criminals. I want to be able to help people and do what I can to keep people safe. My extended family is either indifferent or supportive of me doing this, so I'm kinda conflicted.

    I appreciate my parent's approval on things like this but being a cop is something I really want. I am willing to keep on this track anyway; I just don't want my parents to resent my decisions.

    In short - any ideas on convincing my family that this is job I want?

  • #2
    Originally posted by rubycor View Post
    Hi all,
    (this gonna be a wordy post. Sorry in advance! Hear me out though)
    I'm on this forum because I'm obviously interested in LE work. My parents are vehemently opposed it the idea. A bit of background: My mother's brother was a cop in their hometown. He worked there his whole career; patrol to investigations, K9, started the SWAT team and ended in his career as a LT or Sargent or something. She doesn't talk about him much - their relationship was apparently awful. From what she's told me, he got real cynical and jaded after a few years on the job.

    She doesn't want me to end up like him or risk my life with criminals. I want to be able to help people and do what I can to keep people safe. My extended family is either indifferent or supportive of me doing this, so I'm kinda conflicted.

    I appreciate my parent's approval on things like this but being a cop is something I really want. I am willing to keep on this track anyway; I just don't want my parents to resent my decisions.

    In short - any ideas on convincing my family that this is job I want?
    In short.......................there is nothing you can say to convince mother of anything . She has a life time of resentment due to her father's profession and you can talk until you are blue in the face trying to change her opinions and only end up with oxygen deprivation.

    At some point you are just going to have to realize that it is YOUR life you are talking about and do what you want to do.

    That sounds harsh, but trust me when I say you are not the first person in the world to experience this and won't be the last

    Good Luck
    Since some people need to be told by notes in crayon .......Don't PM me with without prior permission. If you can't discuss the situation in the open forum ----it must not be that important

    My new word for the day is FOCUS, when someone irritates you tell them to FOCUS

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    • #3
      You should always listen to your parents advice.

      However, you don't always have to follow it.

      If your mom is anything like mine, you'll have to do the job and SHOW here to convince her... and that still won't work.

      Keep in mind that she's likely correct, at least in her experience. Your grandfather probably WAS cynical and jaded, and you likely will be, too.
      "I am a Soldier. I fight where I'm told and I win where I fight." -- GEN George S. Patton, Jr.

      "With a brother on my left and a sister on my right, we face…. We face what no one should face. We face, so no one else would face. We are in the face of Death." -- Holli Peet

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      • #4
        I appreciate the answers! I think it helped to hear it from other people My mother's brother (he left the family so we don't call him "uncle") certainly had his demons but so does everyone. My mother is a flight attendant and is super cynical about the flying public; I don't see much of a difference to the streets!

        I just don't want her to have something to hold over me, she loves to say I told you so.

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        • #5
          Either way, she is your mother, and she will more than likely support you no matter what decision you make.

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          • #6
            A parent's concerns are real. Acknowledge that. I come from an LE family, so dad was dead set against his baby girl putting on a badge, and I know his concerns will not fade until I eventually walk away from the job. Nothing is going to change that fact. The best you can do is to learn to accept those concerns, and deal with them accordingly.
            In God We Trust
            Everyone else we run local and NCIC

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            • #7
              I joined the military first, THEN told my parents. They became supportive, but it took a bit. I don't regret that decision at all. In the end, you don't answer for anyone else but yourself. Do what makes you happy, and the rest will fall into place. Good luck in your endeavors.
              US Army Veteran
              The opinions expressed above are not those of any official capacity or agency. Fix yourself.

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              • #8
                Thanks for that perspective!! I haven't told them I want to be a Texas trooper yet, they'd be terrified of me being alone on a highway.

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                • #9
                  DPS is a great career, and I've met some excellent troopers when in Texas. It's only natural for them to be nervous and apprehensive about it. The family that count will be there for you regardless of what happens and what decision you make.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by darkhorse6 View Post
                    I joined the military first, THEN told my parents. They became supportive, but it took a bit. I don't regret that decision at all. In the end, you don't answer for anyone else but yourself. Do what makes you happy, and the rest will fall into place. Good luck in your endeavors.
                    I thought about military, and strangely she was a little more open to that. A little.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Amigo1342 View Post
                      The family that count will be there for you regardless of what happens and what decision you make.
                      I know the rest of my family could convince my parents if it came down to it!

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                      • #12
                        Not to mention if/when you get hired, you will have a whole new family to support you through things. Many have been through what you are, and many will go through it after as well. If/when you get hired, just remember to pay it forward to the next person who is going though it. The brotherhood is one of the best thing about this career in my opinion.

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                        • #13
                          I also need to figure out how to broach the whole "moving across the state" thing. Luckily I've got some family here and there in Texas, so they can always check in on me!

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                          • #14
                            If I leave the BIA, I'd want to return home to Texas. I'd want to be a state trooper. I don't even care that I'd have to do another full academy. Just saying...
                            US Army Veteran
                            The opinions expressed above are not those of any official capacity or agency. Fix yourself.

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                            • #15
                              An agency such as DPS can pretty much station you anywhere they need in the state, so be prepared for that.

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