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Horrible report writing

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  • Horrible report writing

    Have any funny examples?
    You just contradicted me. YOU HATE AMERICA!

  • #2
    Someone once wrote he smelt like alcohol!

    The DA's office has a "wall of shame" for reports. You get a "jacket" on how well or how poor your reports are.
    This profession is not for people looking for positive reinforcement from the public. Very often it can be a thankless job and you can't desire accolades, because those are not usually forthcoming. Just do your job to the best of your ability and live with the decisions you've made.

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    • #3
      I've seen a few in my day.

      The best are usually 3 line DUI reports... it's like "uhhh... you do realize this is going to get eaten alive in court"

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      • #4
        i saw one where a Detective put Weather to describe a situation with a person, instead of Whether LOL! Maybe he should have been a meteorologist instead

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        • #5
          I constantly see "you're/your", "their/there/they're" and many other words mixed up. In my opinion, it's unacceptable.

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          • #6
            A (now LT) listed in the MO section (old, hand written reports) "by falling out dead."
            sigpic

            I don't agree with your opinion, but I respect its straightforwardness in terms of wrongness.

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            • #7
              ..........
              Last edited by Smackzone116; 07-20-2016, 04:10 PM.

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              • #8
                "He was drunk. hell he was damned drunk. That's why we arrested him". "Now Judge, you damned good and well it's against the law to pizz in Lake Monroe, but this clown was doing it".

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                • #9
                  Caller said he saw a burned vehicle in the woods; found same.
                  It's not the will to win that matters...everyone has that. It's the will to prepare to win that matters.
                  Paul "Bear" Bryant

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                  • #10
                    After my shoulder surgery I was asigned to heresy at Grand Jury...I'd have to read reports and then go testify....lots of crappy ones but I was able to swing them except for one....Only charge was resisting arrest...that was it...never mentioned that they had originally contacted the guy for trespassing at the circle k or that the clerk wanted the guy trespassed just removed....the Officer said that he contacted the subject as he was walking away and attempted to detain him by grabbing his arm so that he could get his I.D. from him and the guy pulled away....that was it....nothing else...never told the guy he was under arrest or anything...I went to the prosecutor and told him there was no way I was getting in front of the GJ with this mess....in Phoenix we need to actually arrest someone before we can charge them with resisting arrest LOL

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                    • #11
                      The one that comes to mind was actually pretty well written. It was 2 1/2 pages of narrative describing picking up a stray cat and taking it to the Humane Society. Favorite line: "The cat curled up in my lap, purred, and looked longingly into my eyes."
                      Originally posted by kontemplerande
                      Without Germany, you would not have won World War 2.

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                      • #12
                        We have a guy who is borderline dyslexic and even when he uses spell check there are a lot of errors.

                        Along with the usual mistakes his most common is witch instead of which...

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                        • #13
                          I have a personal one.
                          Found an arrest warrant on a traffic stop.

                          In my supp. report I said, "I executed a search warrant on Mr. XXXX XXXX"

                          My Sgt. looked at the paper, and asked me, "So you violated a man over the weekend eh? You DID mean you executed a arrest warrant, right?"

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                          • #14
                            To better utilize officers' time, our department's policy required reports with more than one page of narrative to be taped and then transcribed by civilian stenos. Usually they did a pretty good job, but occasionally these people couldn't quite understand what was said so they went with their best guess.

                            One time I was conducting a surveillance and watched a narcotics transaction occur about 30 feet north of a certain landmark. When the case went to court, I got my first look at the transcribed narrative and saw the "hand to hand" occurred "30 miles north" of the location I'd described. Not a bad "obs" with 10x binos from across the street huh?
                            "I'm not fluent in the language of violence, but I know enough to get around in places where it's spoken."

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                            • #15
                              I will add the word "PENIS" to an officers report if he steps out for a drink whilst typing and does not lock his computer
                              "I don't go on "I'maworthlesscumdumpster.com" and post negative **** about cum dumpsters."
                              The Tick

                              "Are you referring to the secret headquarters of a fictional crime fighter or penal complex slang for a-$$hole, anus or rectum?"
                              sanitizer

                              "and we all know you are a poser and a p*ssy.... "
                              Bearcat357 to Dinner Portion/buck8/long relief

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