Depression in LE

[sadcop]

Hi guys -

I will get right to the point. I am a reserve officer of 6 years and I have been depressed for several months. I am scared to death to have anyone in my department find out. So I keep it a secrect.

But I know I need help. I do go to therapy. I don't have family and my closest friend is also a cop so I don't tell him much about what I am going through.

I want to see if meds will help but am scared my department would find out and possibly ruin my reserve career and any chances of going full time if I decide to go that route. I have lost everyone in my family due to death and divorce. And I feel completely alone and spend most of my time alone. My relationship with my department is the most important part of my life so I don’t want to mess it up.

What do you guys think? Should I get meds?

[LA DEP]

Whether or not you take one or more of the meds commonly used for depression is something only you can decide.

As far as your department (or others) finding out, you need to ask the doc you are seeing what their level of confidentiality is......flat out ask them what will make them 'break' confidentiality.

Here in CA, the only things that they will do that for is: threat to self; imminent threat to others; and the 'mandated reporting' issues (child abuse, elder abuse ect)....thats it.....they wont even tell your agency if you are going there for therapy; they wont even acknowledge that you are or are not a patient ect....doing so would risk their license, and not only a massive civil suit, but even the possibility of criminal charges.

Feel free to PM me if you want more info.

[sadcop]

I appreciate your response. I am not worried about the mandatory reporting. I am not quite sure how they would find out. My department has always had the theory of let them know what is going on so they can support / defend me. Rather them not being in the loop and they can do anything. This agency has been good to me. I have a great relationship with all the members and the command staff.

Maybe I should more help.

[LA DEP]

Ok....from the sound of it, the only way they are going to find out if is YOU tell them; which you are under zero obligation to do.....would you tell them about all your other medical treatments ect?

If you do decide to go the med route, make sure your doctor knows that you are a LEO.....from what I have been told, there are several options for meds, that will not effect you the same way as some of the others.

Something else to look into: Does your agency (or one nearby) have something like a peer support program?.....other cops/firemen ect that are trained as peer counselors?

[sadcop]

Yes, we do have a peer support program. I have never engaged them though. I do know how to. I just haven't.

I think I will probably try and see my doc to get some meds. She knows what I do and has experience with LEO's.

[ummone]

I agree with seeking out a doctors advice. One suggestion though, start with your personal doctor first. Don't do a walk in to some Joe Blow psych doc on the street with a fancy sign. Most of them are nuts. Have your doctor make recommendations for a treatment path and or another doctor.

[sadcop]

My PCP is pretty good. She helped me a little bit when I lost a couple of people in the past year. I think I need to do that. I can't keep living the way I am feeling. No, not thinking of eating my gun. Just don't want to feel this way any more.

[Dingo990]

Couldn't hurt to at least talk with a doctor. If certain meds might be an issue, you can worry about that later. But it couldn't hurt to at least start the process.

As for worrying about your reserve job and getting a full time job, you don't need to be thinking about that. As LA DEP said, you don't need to tell them anything.

[sadcop]

Thanks guys. I will speak to someone.

[775]

Don't mess around - get yourself some help. By the sounds of it, you have a lot of reason to be depressed. As long as meds don't alter your mental capacity or cause drowsiness, you should be good. The only thing bad the dept should step in for is if you are going to off youself or filp out.

Don't kid yourself - if you are on the job, you have a family - a very large one. Let your family help you.

[yellowreef]

I agree with the suggestions above. I will add one more thing that might help. Find an activity that gets you out of the house and interacting with people outside your role as a cop at work. Anything like that will help.

[sadcop]

Don't mess around - get yourself some help. By the sounds of it, you have a lot of reason to be depressed. As long as meds don't alter your mental capacity or cause drowsiness, you should be good. The only thing bad the dept should step in for is if you are going to off youself or filp out.

Don't kid yourself - if you are on the job, you have a family - a very large one. Let your family help you.

Where's the "Like" button? Oh crap, this ain't Facebook.

I just put a call into my doctor and therapist. Let's see what they say.

[sadcop]

I agree with the suggestions above. I will add one more thing that might help. Find an activity that gets you out of the house and interacting with people outside your role as a cop at work. Anything like that will help.

I wish I could fully disclose the situation and the agency I work for. That said, I agree and do try and get out and around people.

[BigDog4907]

With what you have told us here, I think you need to worry more about your personal health. I understand your desire and concern about your LE career, but you have no business of taking care of others until you have taken care of yourself. That is not meant to be harsh, but something to think about. Your health is not good at the moment and your mind is not where it needs to be while doing this job.

[cleantrep]

I am not much of an expert in these matters but I will pray for you. Sounds like you need a good prayer or two.