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Any Advice? New LEO Wife

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  • Any Advice? New LEO Wife

    Hello all,


    My husband will be on the streets soon and I want to know if any of you LEO's have any advice for me? Yes, me! I want to be the most supportive wife I can be, but since I am new to this, I am not sure what to expect. The entire process went by very fast and I don't feel quite ready for what's to follow, because I do not know what's to follow.


    Thank you all very much!
    Last edited by LEO Wife; 10-17-2009, 12:41 PM.

  • #2
    Like with any relationship, communication is a must.

    There is a book called I love a cop by Ellen Kirshman. Good material. Remember as excited as he may be for what he did during the day...so is what YOU did. Family always comes first.
    This profession is not for people looking for positive reinforcement from the public. Very often it can be a thankless job and you can't desire accolades, because those are not usually forthcoming. Just do your job to the best of your ability and live with the decisions you've made.

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    • #3
      deputy x2 hit the nail on the head. Get that book and it will help a lot. My wife got it when I became a cop. Just be supportive and openminded to his new schedule. If he wants to stay out after his shift with the guys, let him. This is a critical time where cops will destress so they don't come home with thier problems.

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      • #4
        See if the department has a wives group - some do. You may also want to attend a citizens' police academy to get a feel for what he is doing.
        If he wants to talk when he gets home, let him. If he does not, don't press the issue.
        And try to meet some of the wives of the other officers - you may find he will be more focused on being an officer, and getting to know the other wives can help.
        "A man who has nothing which he cares about more than he does about his personal safety is a miserable creature who has no chance of being free, unless made and kept so by the existing of better men than himself."
        John Stuart Mill

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        • #5
          Don't assume that he's trying to get in the pants of his female partner or the females on his shift. You'd be amazed how often that happens. My ex (I said EX) wife was like that all of the time. Did I mention EX-wife?!

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          • #6
            I hope it is okay to reply to my own thread??

            Wow everyone...thank you very much!

            We communicate about EVERYTHING! Obviously, we had to talk about A LOT with him wanting this career. As much as I will want him home with me, I understand he may want to go out with the other officers.

            They do not work with partners, but I have heard rumors can start quickly, so that will not be fun to deal with. In the academy, he helped a female with certain training and people started rumors...so childish.

            Thank you all for the advice!! Appreciate it very much! And, I will see if I can get the book off Amazon!!

            Comment


            • #7
              Yes you can post on your thread.

              I forgot to welcome you.

              And yes amazon has it..

              http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_0_...x=i+love+a+cop
              This profession is not for people looking for positive reinforcement from the public. Very often it can be a thankless job and you can't desire accolades, because those are not usually forthcoming. Just do your job to the best of your ability and live with the decisions you've made.

              Comment


              • #8
                My wife was the most supportive of any woman I could imagine. She allowed me to vent and then softly reminded me of her day and our daughter's growing up. She endured my stupid times, loved my humorous times and cried during my worst times. She endured my attendance at two academies, long periods of being away from home and a tight budget. We have been married for 47 years and she is still with me - we both made it to retirement and medicare

                All I can do is offer you this advice.......no matter how important your husband thinks he is in his work, you are more important in yours. It is going to be hard, tedious, boring, depressing; and yet, rewarding. Involve yourself with some outside activities - PTA, women's club, volunteer work, anything that will allow you to enjoy your self worth and inner peace.

                Good luck to you and your husband. Remember, life is short and before you know it you will both be able to look back and feel proud at your accomplishments.
                Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence!

                [George Washington (1732 - 1799)]

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by SgtCHP View Post
                  My wife was the most supportive of any woman I could imagine. She allowed me to vent and then softly reminded me of her day and our daughter's growing up. She endured my stupid times, loved my humorous times and cried during my worst times. She endured my attendance at two academies, long periods of being away from home and a tight budget. We have been married for 47 years and she is still with me - we both made it to retirement and medicare

                  All I can do is offer you this advice.......no matter how important your husband thinks he is in his work, you are more important in yours. It is going to be hard, tedious, boring, depressing; and yet, rewarding. Involve yourself with some outside activities - PTA, women's club, volunteer work, anything that will allow you to enjoy your self worth and inner peace.

                  Good luck to you and your husband. Remember, life is short and before you know it you will both be able to look back and feel proud at your accomplishments.
                  I too am blessed with a wonderful and supportive Wife. With that said, I'll leave you the Sgt's advice. It doesn't get any better. The very best of luck, and God's Blessings to both you and your Husband.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by SgtCHP View Post
                    My wife was the most supportive of any woman I could imagine. She allowed me to vent and then softly reminded me of her day and our daughter's growing up. She endured my stupid times, loved my humorous times and cried during my worst times. She endured my attendance at two academies, long periods of being away from home and a tight budget. We have been married for 47 years and she is still with me - we both made it to retirement and medicare

                    All I can do is offer you this advice.......no matter how important your husband thinks he is in his work, you are more important in yours. It is going to be hard, tedious, boring, depressing; and yet, rewarding. Involve yourself with some outside activities - PTA, women's club, volunteer work, anything that will allow you to enjoy your self worth and inner peace.

                    Good luck to you and your husband. Remember, life is short and before you know it you will both be able to look back and feel proud at your accomplishments.


                    WOW...that is awesome! Thank you so much for sharing that!

                    We have been together 10 years this December. Cannot imagine 47 years! Although, I'm sure we'll make it that long!

                    We do not have children (and never will) so I have already told myself I need to find some hobbies and volunteer work to keep me busy while he is at work.

                    Thank you!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by deputy x 2 View Post
                      Yes you can post on your thread.

                      I forgot to welcome you.

                      And yes amazon has it..

                      http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_0_...x=i+love+a+cop

                      Thank you! Just ordered it and it should be here Thursday!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I met my wife on the job (NO, I was single and so was she), she was with another Federal Agency. She already knew that the hours were flexible, and just how boring a surveillance could be. The midnight phone calls, going in on Monday and getting home Thursday morning, etc. etc.
                        As an Fed herself, we could discuss much of what I was doing, although some was restricted information. We did not often see the blood and gore that comes with other types of law enforcement, so that was not an issue.

                        Live well, keep your perspective, and keep some friends outside of law enforcement for balance.
                        It's good to serve THE PEOPLE.
                        "A man who has nothing which he cares about more than he does about his personal safety is a miserable creature who has no chance of being free, unless made and kept so by the existing of better men than himself."
                        John Stuart Mill

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Give him time to decompress when he gets home. If he says he doesn't want to talk, don't take it personally and don't push him to talk about it yet. Give him some time to shake off the crap he dealt with.

                          Don't bombard him with house problems the instance he gets home. Again, let him shake off work problems first.
                          I miss you, Dave.
                          http://www.odmp.org/officer/20669-of...david-s.-moore

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                          • #14
                            Let him sleep, nothing gets on my nerves more than when my wife wants me to get up before noon.
                            I enjoy life on the dirtroad

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                            • #15
                              My wife hated that book "I Love a Cop." Cracks me up whenever I see it mentioned on here.
                              Why are there so many babies on O.com? Creole, you and your buddy JPSO Recruit help me out on this one....

                              * "Preach always, if necessary, use words!" St Francis of Assisi

                              * Luke Chapter 6, Verses 27-36

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