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Dating LEOs, but NOT a BB.

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  • Looker
    replied
    Originally posted by JenInNJ View Post
    ...I haven't posted on BBSes since I was a teenager. I thought maybe as an adult things would have changed. WRONG-O. Seriously, what do I have to gain from this juvenile discourse? Very few people are even motivated to do anything other than insult my character, misquote me and throw dime store psychology in my face.

    Present company (and a handful of others) excluded, of course.

    Want a generalization? Here ya go. I think one of the problems with people is they fail to take a step back and see the big picture. Why on earth would I spend 30 minutes constructing such a clearly well-thought out thread for ulterior motives beyond professional people's opinions on the ISSUE, not me? I didn't ask what was wrong with me? It's almost like people here would rather sit and judge me because they have nothing else to say.

    And amusingly, JUDGE ME FOR LIKING LEOs! LOL!

    Seriously, if I've made generalizations about LEOs (and there are generalizations abound on this forum), it's easy to say you personally don't fit into those generalizations. Like the generalizations other people have been making about people who hang out at bars, or women who like sex, or professors' vernacular. I haven't personally attacked anyone, just defended myself and I really shouldn't have to in a forum of adults, IMHO. It's starting to feel like a waste of my energy and I'm on my last 2 days of sabbatical

    Are ya fillin' me?

    Gotta have it. It's the same thing that kept me from being insulted by this post.

    Thick skin, woman. You've gotta have thick skin coming here. One of the first threads I started when I got here put a few creases in my whitey tighties. But I realized everyone is entitled to their opinion, and I had asked for it, so they gave it. I can think of at least one of the respondents that answered negatively in that thread that I actually respect and like on these forums. Although I rarely see him post things here. He has recently undergone a mustache removal surgery, if that gives anyone a hint.

    There are some LEO's that don't deal well with various scenarios. Some of those scenarios are the ability to deal with outsiders, women, or a combination of both. Then again, some of them gave their answer, and you didn't like it. Ya just gotta deal with it.

    Leave a comment:


  • Looker
    replied
    Jen, sorry to say but it sounds to me like you kind of are. In my opinion its the bars you hang out when you go to meet men that give you your problem. Bars may be good for finding a few dates, and depending on the bar you'll find plenty of cops / military / paramilitary disciplined individuals there. But I wouln't go there to meet a woman I want to take home to mama. I'd be more interested in a female that I see with her friends at a pro baseball game, walking or milling about near any beach but avoiding the large crowd, or in a setting that gives off an aura of stability. The gym could be okay, I guess, but there are many types of people there though, so you have to read them carefully. That does not mean stalk them for weeks on end... lol.. not that you would.

    But yes, you do kind of seem as if you congregate where sworn personnel would for some down time.

    Leave a comment:


  • BrickCop
    replied
    I'm glad you found the Ask a Cop section useful.

    Godspeed.

    Leave a comment:


  • JenInNJ
    replied
    Originally posted by Smurfette_76 View Post
    On the flip side. Imagine walking into a party where you know no one and throwing all your business down on Front Street so to speak. What are people here going to think of you when your delivery method of the aforementioned life story was just there...BLAH...right at you feet...here I am. It's rather rude and abrupt...in real life and here.

    Now. You have several choices. Slide into the rhythm here and get to know the very wonderful, intelligent, thought-provoking men and women that post here or don't. I wouldn't imagine you'd want to stick around merely to throw barbs because that would be the height of juvenile behavior and the very anti thesis of what you claim to be, no? Your decision, but in the end this is a LE forum and your approach was a bit like p*ssing in the punch bowl. Code Seven, Brick, Curly, Outshined et al are valuable members of this form...you asked for opinions, but you don't get to dictate their response.

    If you choose to stick around, then good...get to know people. If not....best of luck.
    Fair enough, but do you really think the majority of questions/issues that are said anonymously in forums are things most people use as party discourse? Not a fair comparison. I can't imagine approaching the situation with anything other than the honesty I laid forth about my personal life. Would there really have been a better way to ask? Personally, I don't think there was anything rude about my original post. But that's just me. AND, if I read a post where someone was being open and honest and I found myself offended, my first reaction would not be to attack them. I'd simply ignore it.

    And I did ask for opinions, but not to be insulted. You won't see a single instance of me getting defensive over one person that had anything of merit to say about the QUESTION I asked, even if I didn't like the answer. I mean our exchange has been heated at times, and there wasn't an insult anywhere to be found. There's a huge difference, IMHO.

    I would hope you could tell at this point that I'm all about **** in the punch bowl, even some vinegar, but at the end of the day, when you have to sort through 10 people insulting you to find one person actually trying to respond to your question, well...no offense, but it's difficult to differentiate between the "very wonderful, intelligent, thought-provoking men and women that post here" and the bored, misogynist j/o who has nothing better to do with his time than to flame on a BBS. And while I really appreciate your neutrality (a most admirable trait in LE, IMHO), you were also the first to point out that people were senselessly attacking me.

    I did appreciate the interaction with the few of you who actually did choose to respond to me in a respectful manner, but this will be my last post. After all, I think after my 18 year marriage, and clear inability to have a long term relationship, I need to go find me some Dr. Phil.

    Thanks again.

    Leave a comment:


  • JenInNJ
    replied
    Originally posted by BrickCop View Post
    Your pompous hypocrisy is laughable.

    Why are you wasting your talents here? You should be doing a book tour of the country with these tidbits of drama....er...I mean wisdom. Nevertheless thank you for wasting your energy in enlightening us knuckle draggers. I'm sure that any future posts seeking validation...er...I mean an explanation for your inablity to form long lasting relationships will be directed to DoctorPhil.com instead of the O.com Neanderthals.
    He who speaks the truth certainly has lots of words to put in other people's mouths.

    Leave a comment:


  • JenInNJ
    replied
    Originally posted by Code Seven
    JenInNJ, I hope you don't think I was being mean, but when I read essay response after essay response, I tend to think that something isn't right, especially when the essays take a defensive/aggressive tone. Maybe you needed to get your thoughts off your chest. I can understand that.
    Not at all. It's all good.

    Leave a comment:


  • BrickCop
    replied
    Originally posted by Smurfette_76 View Post
    On the flip side. Imagine walking into a party where you know no one and throwing all your business down on Front Street so to speak. What are people here going to think of you when your delivery method of the aforementioned life story was just there...BLAH...right at you feet...here I am. It's rather rude and abrupt...in real life and here.

    Now. You have several choices. Slide into the rhythm here and get to know the very wonderful, intelligent, thought-provoking men and women that post here or don't. I wouldn't imagine you'd want to stick around merely to throw barbs because that would be the height of juvenile behavior and the very anti thesis of what you claim to be, no? Your decision, but in the end this is a LE forum and your approach was a bit like p*ssing in the punch bowl. Code Seven, Brick, Curly, Outshined et al are valuable members of this form...you asked for opinions, but you don't get to dictate their response.

    If you choose to stick around, then good...get to know people. If not....best of luck.
    Well said.

    Leave a comment:


  • BrickCop
    replied
    Originally posted by JenInNJ View Post
    I have a lot of female LEO friends. I've heard horror stories. We'll save those for PMs though

    Done floating around. I haven't posted on BBSes since I was a teenager. I thought maybe as an adult things would have changed. WRONG-O. Seriously, what do I have to gain from this juvenile discourse? Very few people are even motivated to do anything other than insult my character, misquote me and throw dime store psychology in my face.

    Present company (and a handful of others) excluded, of course.

    Want a generalization? Here ya go. I think one of the problems with people is they fail to take a step back and see the big picture. Why on earth would I spend 30 minutes constructing such a clearly well-thought out thread for ulterior motives beyond professional people's opinions on the ISSUE, not me? I didn't ask what was wrong with me? It's almost like people here would rather sit and judge me because they have nothing else to say.

    And amusingly, JUDGE ME FOR LIKING LEOs! LOL!

    Seriously, if I've made generalizations about LEOs (and there are generalizations abound on this forum), it's easy to say you personally don't fit into those generalizations. Like the generalizations other people have been making about people who hang out at bars, or women who like sex, or professors' vernacular. I haven't personally attacked anyone, just defended myself and I really shouldn't have to in a forum of adults, IMHO. It's starting to feel like a waste of my energy and I'm on my last 2 days of sabbatical

    Are ya fillin' me?
    Your pompous hypocrisy is laughable.

    Why are you wasting your talents here? You should be doing a book tour of the country with these tidbits of drama....er...I mean wisdom. Nevertheless thank you for wasting your energy in enlightening us knuckle draggers. I'm sure that any future posts seeking validation...er...I mean an explanation for your inablity to form long lasting relationships will be directed to DoctorPhil.com instead of the O.com Neanderthals.

    Leave a comment:


  • Smurfette_76
    replied
    Originally posted by JenInNJ View Post
    I have a lot of female LEO friends. I've heard horror stories. We'll save those for PMs though

    Done floating around. I haven't posted on BBSes since I was a teenager. I thought maybe as an adult things would have changed. WRONG-O. Seriously, what do I have to gain from this juvenile discourse? Very few people are even motivated to do anything other than insult my character, misquote me and throw dime store psychology in my face.

    Present company (and a handful of others) excluded, of course.

    Want a generalization? Here ya go. I think one of the problems with people is they fail to take a step back and see the big picture. Why on earth would I spend 30 minutes constructing such a clearly well-thought out thread for ulterior motives beyond professional people's opinions on the ISSUE, not me? I didn't ask what was wrong with me? It's almost like people here would rather sit and judge me because they have nothing else to say.

    And amusingly, JUDGE ME FOR LIKING LEOs! LOL!

    Seriously, if I've made generalizations about LEOs (and there are generalizations abound on this forum), it's easy to say you personally don't fit into those generalizations. Like the generalizations other people have been making about people who hang out at bars, or women who like sex, or professors' vernacular. I haven't personally attacked anyone, just defended myself and I really shouldn't have to in a forum of adults, IMHO. It's starting to feel like a waste of my energy and I'm on my last 2 days of sabbatical

    Are ya fillin' me?
    On the flip side. Imagine walking into a party where you know no one and throwing all your business down on Front Street so to speak. What are people here going to think of you when your delivery method of the aforementioned life story was just there...BLAH...right at you feet...here I am. It's rather rude and abrupt...in real life and here.

    Now. You have several choices. Slide into the rhythm here and get to know the very wonderful, intelligent, thought-provoking men and women that post here or don't. I wouldn't imagine you'd want to stick around merely to throw barbs because that would be the height of juvenile behavior and the very anti thesis of what you claim to be, no? Your decision, but in the end this is a LE forum and your approach was a bit like p*ssing in the punch bowl. Code Seven, Brick, Curly, Outshined et al are valuable members of this form...you asked for opinions, but you don't get to dictate their response.

    If you choose to stick around, then good...get to know people. If not....best of luck.

    Leave a comment:


  • Smurfette_76
    replied
    Originally posted by BrickCop View Post
    Imagine if the male cops/members quipped to take it easy on them- they're just women... it must be that time of the month? Just sayin'.

    Say whatever you want, honey....that don't make it true.

    As for the other........typical response of a man lacking a better one

    Leave a comment:


  • JenInNJ
    replied
    Originally posted by BrickCop View Post
    Imagine if the male cops/members quipped to take it easy on them- they're just women... it must be that time of the month? Just sayin'.
    You could say that and it would be awesome. Except it would make little sense here as we're clearly holding our own. Just sayin' s'all

    Leave a comment:


  • JenInNJ
    replied
    Originally posted by Smurfette_76 View Post
    I'm a woman with twelve years in a male dominated job and you think you're going to surprise me? ROFL

    Take it easy on them, hon. Float around awhile, get to know some people...they ain't all bad...just men
    I have a lot of female LEO friends. I've heard horror stories. We'll save those for PMs though

    Done floating around. I haven't posted on BBSes since I was a teenager. I thought maybe as an adult things would have changed. WRONG-O. Seriously, what do I have to gain from this juvenile discourse? Very few people are even motivated to do anything other than insult my character, misquote me and throw dime store psychology in my face.

    Present company (and a handful of others) excluded, of course.

    Want a generalization? Here ya go. I think one of the problems with people is they fail to take a step back and see the big picture. Why on earth would I spend 30 minutes constructing such a clearly well-thought out thread for ulterior motives beyond professional people's opinions on the ISSUE, not me? I didn't ask what was wrong with me? It's almost like people here would rather sit and judge me because they have nothing else to say.

    And amusingly, JUDGE ME FOR LIKING LEOs! LOL!

    Seriously, if I've made generalizations about LEOs (and there are generalizations abound on this forum), it's easy to say you personally don't fit into those generalizations. Like the generalizations other people have been making about people who hang out at bars, or women who like sex, or professors' vernacular. I haven't personally attacked anyone, just defended myself and I really shouldn't have to in a forum of adults, IMHO. It's starting to feel like a waste of my energy and I'm on my last 2 days of sabbatical

    Are ya fillin' me?

    Leave a comment:


  • BrickCop
    replied
    Originally posted by Smurfette_76 View Post
    I'm a woman with twelve years in a male dominated job and you think you're going to surprise me? ROFL

    Take it easy on them, hon. Float around awhile, get to know some people...they ain't all bad...just men
    Imagine if the male cops/members quipped to take it easy on them- they're just women... it must be that time of the month? Just sayin'.

    Leave a comment:


  • JenInNJ
    replied
    Originally posted by BrickCop View Post
    Here is the thing...

    You came on here asking for cop's opinions and for better or worse you've gotten just that. Perhaps you don't see it but you have a habit of making or seeking generalizations about male cops as to their personal traits.

    Then there there is your sig...I realize that it may be just a funny quote but it along with the tenor of your original post is telling. According to you there was some sort of problem with virtually every cop you've dated. Where are you in this equation as far as self awareness goes?

    I don't buy you have this magical allure that only tends to attract cops. I have yet to ever hear someone proclaim they only attract plumbers or architects.

    I will agree with you that people begging for your pic is rather lame considering they're a mouse click away from a billion websites featuring naked women.
    1. I apologized about making generalizations before the flame war happened. I have never tried to be insulting or compartmentalizing and I've made that QUITE clear, so let's not insinuate I've "had it coming."

    2. The quote is new. Since this morning. I was inspired by the tenor of the posts, so don't over-analyze it there chief. As far as self-awareness goes, I think if you reread the original post, you'll see a tremendous amount of self-awareness there. Where did I say there was a problem with every cop I've dated. I said the relationships didn't work out. Some of the men I've met (and haven't dated) have been players. Wait. We need a minute here. Ok, ready for it. This has somehow gotten lost in translation.

    I adore LEOs.

    3. Thanks for your input. I'm not quite sure where you're going with that, but it's helpful nevertheless.

    Leave a comment:


  • Smurfette_76
    replied
    Originally posted by JenInNJ View Post
    I know this is going to come as a BIG surprise to you Smurfette, but there are some men who just can't handle our (insert whatever flattering term won't get me in more trouble here).

    But thanks for the props (insert not particularly feminist, redhead, girlpower chick jargon here).

    -J
    I'm a woman with twelve years in a male dominated job and you think you're going to surprise me? ROFL

    Take it easy on them, hon. Float around awhile, get to know some people...they ain't all bad...just men

    Leave a comment:

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