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Who here has some insight into the lighter side of LE?

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    Bully
    Your Daddy

  • Bully
    replied
    Originally posted by hooknbook View Post
    Thanks for the LOL Bully...my partner next door was like WTF when I started laughing.
    No prob that's why I'm here. They just put the memo out again. I'm waiting for someone to be freeballin.

    Leave a comment:

  • hooknbook
    Forum Member

  • hooknbook
    replied
    Originally posted by Bully View Post
    One of my favorites took place in briefing. The station put out a directive saying if you need a new uniform item, you have to fill out the request and put the old item in a bag prior to getting the replacement. Well one of the guys requested pants. He came into briefing with his shirt, vest, belt, shirt garters, boots and boxers. He just sat there and hung out during briefing.
    Thanks for the LOL Bully...my partner next door was like WTF when I started laughing.

    Leave a comment:

  • hansmoleman011
    Police Officer

  • hansmoleman011
    replied
    I had one guy in the back of my car on the way to jail. He thinks hes gonna be clever and says "You know im suing ur department for this false arrest", I replied, "Oh ya, what makes this a false arrest". I couldnt stop laughing after he replied "You never read me my REMANDA rights. Me and my partner still laugh about it to this day.

    Leave a comment:

  • phillyrube
    Forum Member

  • phillyrube
    replied
    Most every officer out here has a "naked lady" call.....heheheheh

    Also, I have gotten permission to search cars by invoking the "Reasonable Mann Act." In other words, a reasonable man wants to cooperate with the police and by the fact that you are not coooperating, you have violated the Reasonable Mann Act, and doing so invokes the Carroll Act, which allows me to seach your car without a warrant.

    Another good one, I was interrogating a guy for some burglaries, and he wouldn't come off his story. I left the room to get some coffee, and one of our newer female officers was in the building in civvies. I asked her for help. Took a paper bag, cut out eyeholes, had her open the door, look at the guy, and say: "That's him." Walked back in, and had him confessing in 30 minutes.
    phillyrube
    Forum Member
    Last edited by phillyrube; 10-02-2009, 03:16 PM.

    Leave a comment:

  • Blankstare
    Chaingang Guard

  • Blankstare
    replied
    I once had an inmate ask me if we couldn't lock up all the HIV positive inmates into segregation, so he wouldn't have to worry about "accidentally" having sex with someone who was infected.

    Leave a comment:

  • CruiserClass
    Forum Member

  • CruiserClass
    replied
    Drunk guy: Someone's feeding cats by that wrecked car and I think thats sushpichious.

    I'll give that every bit of attention it deserves, now how about not drunk dialing 911, sir?

    Leave a comment:

  • concon02
    Registered User

  • concon02
    replied
    Originally posted by Bully View Post
    One of my favorites took place in briefing. The station put out a directive saying if you need a new uniform item, you have to fill out the request and put the old item in a bag prior to getting the replacement. Well one of the guys requested pants. He came into briefing with his shirt, vest, belt, shirt garters, boots and boxers. He just sat there and hung out during briefing.
    This is awesome.

    Leave a comment:

  • leesrt
    Forum Member

  • leesrt
    replied
    When I worked for my local PD I went on a call, my first year on, to a woman who thinks people are tresspassing on her property. I arrive and was greeted by an elderly man who says, "come inside, my wife is in the bedroom".

    I follow him back and she's elderly and in bed with the blanket up around chest level. She was wearing a nightgown.
    She proceeds to tell me she can tell there are teenagers outside her house making love in their car.
    I bit and asked her how she knew this.

    She tells me that when someone is making love near her she gets a pain in her va-J-J and it gets very irritated. I tried not to be startled by this and asked how long this has been going on. She says "for many many years" and then says "look you can see how irritated it is" while she begins lowering the blanket.
    I said "NO NO NO, thats ok, let me get my Sgt here first". She stopped and said thats a good idea. I called for my Sgt, a female, and she said she would be there in a few minutes. While she was enroute the complainant also explained how she knew they were using radio signals to listen to her at night.

    My Sgt arrived and I met her outside. I explained that the complainant needs to speak with a woman about a matter that concerns her. My Sgt was like "ok thats cool" and parades into the room.

    I walked out of the house because at this point I'm not able to contain myself. I'm laughing so hard a passer by asked me if I was ok.

    My Sgt comes out and has a stern look on her face. She say "you knew what she wanted didn't you"? I said yes but I didn't have the heart to ruin it for you.

    I asked her if she showed it to her and she said "oh yeah, and from the looks of it there's an entire school bus of kids makin love in her back yard". LOL

    Leave a comment:

  • 7th District
    Former Devil Dog

  • 7th District
    replied
    Daddy, Daddy....

    One night at about 1:00am we get this call to go to a trailer park reference a woman causing a disturbance. She is outside yelling as loud as she can.

    I know the address well and her family are regular customers.

    When we arrive the woman, who mind you bears a striking resemblance to Popeye's Olive Oil, is still standing out in her front yard yelling. She's yelling as loud as she can, "He won't f--- me!" "He won't f--- me!", over and over again.

    We calmed her down and ask what the problem was. As you can guess from what she was yelling she is upset that her boyfriend won't give her any lovin'.

    I go inside to talk to the boyfriend and find a guy who last I knew was with this woman's daughter. They actually had a kid together.

    Well since that time the boyfriend had split up with his old girlfriend and he had moved in with her mom, Olive Oil. Anywho he tells me that he won't go to bed with her because he is tired of his son asking him, "Daddy, Daddy why are you sleeping in grandma's bed?"





    .
    7th District
    Former Devil Dog
    Last edited by 7th District; 10-01-2009, 02:51 AM.

    Leave a comment:

  • janego10
    Forum Member

  • janego10
    replied
    tried to get consent to enter a home to arrest a DV suspect. After countless times trying to get him to come out and talk to us I told him I'm just going to come in a get him...he says "Well just come in a get me!" Wow! Loved that consent...busted in grabbed him, he resisted and the whole time said " thats not what i meant, thats not what I meant!" Oh man i loved it!

    Leave a comment:

  • Bully
    Your Daddy

  • Bully
    replied
    I also like the guy that I tore up one night. When the jailer was processing him, the jailer saw all the bandages. Here's the conversation:

    Jailer - "What happened to you?"
    Crook - "I got arrested in Riverside County, what the **** do you think
    happened to me?"

    Leave a comment:

  • marty33
    In the Evil Village...

  • marty33
    replied
    My own personal favorite...A felony DV suspect tells me "If you try to arrest me, I am going to swing on you!" He then takes a step towards me, and gets hit three times with a baton and Tazed. After it was all over, he couldnt understand why he got his butt kicked. He thought a cop had to be assaulted first before fighting back. Guess you had to be there.

    Leave a comment:

  • crass cop
    trashman

  • crass cop
    replied
    had a "motorist assist call" a few weeks back....disp advised a vehicle has died in traffic and the FEMALE driver has called 911...
    Her cars battery is dead and she's LOCKED INSIDE and afraid because she cant get out.

    I, being the "cass cop" I am, without missing a beat gave the dispatcher directions to relay to her on how to escape from the vehicle...."advise her to look for the manual locking lever and pull it upward"...got a few laughs

    But the stupidity of people is amazing and neverending

    Leave a comment:

  • Bully
    Your Daddy

  • Bully
    replied
    One of my favorites took place in briefing. The station put out a directive saying if you need a new uniform item, you have to fill out the request and put the old item in a bag prior to getting the replacement. Well one of the guys requested pants. He came into briefing with his shirt, vest, belt, shirt garters, boots and boxers. He just sat there and hung out during briefing.

    Leave a comment:

  • JSD73
    Go on, touch it...

  • JSD73
    replied
    The Sheer stupidity of people is what makes this job have a lighter side.

    For instance, a man walks up to me, on duty mind you, and asks, "So, yer a Deputy Sheriff huh?" I look down at the patch on my shoulder, look back up, and say uh huh, kinda looks like it. He looks back at me says, "Uh huh, so uhh, which county you work for?" I look back down at my patch, read it out loud while looking for a way to escape as he proceeds to tell me how close he and the Sheriff are as friends. Problem is, the Sheriff's name he mentions is no longer Sheriff and I inform him of this as I make a hasty retreat to my patrol car.

    We had one a few nights ago where my buddy got a call of an assault, he goes out to interview the highly intoxicated homeowner who says he saw six vehicles drive by his house and go down the street so he had to go see what was happening ....his reason...."I had to know".... he follows them to the only house on the cul de sac and then proceeds to drive in circles. When confronted by residents he goes back home and says that he was verbally assaulted and wants to make a report. Ten minutes after clearing that call, we responded back to shots fired and surrounded the house for over an hour and when we finally got him to come back out, he still didn't know what he had done wrong...

    Takes all kinds

    Leave a comment:

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