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Dumbest thing you've said/heard on your two-way


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  • Dumbest thing you've said/heard on your two-way

    ^self explanatory, Just curious what you guys got..Anything that made you laugh when you heard it or made you say "what the hell did I just say?

  • #2
    Supervisor to dispatch "(fill in the blank)"


    • #3
      There was a dispatcher who was having a lengthy conversation with another dispatcher working right next to her. The discussion was about a guy she just met and the dispatcher didn't know her mike button was stuck open. Just when she got through saying, "...the problem is, I don't know if he likes me for myself or for my body, " her mike shut off.

      Several units in the field promptly came on the air and offered their most sincere evaluation of her situation.
      Going too far is half the pleasure of not getting anywhere


      • #4
        I can tell you the dumbest thing I've heard lately.

        Officer: *Unit number*, 10-37 (Traffic Stop)

        Dispatch: *Repeats unit number to confirm*

        Officer: *Give location, tag number, etc*. "Radio be advised, the vehicle's registered owner is returning 10-99"

        Dispatch: "10-4, is the registered owner driving the car?"

        Officer: "Not sure radio. I'll let you know."
        The Lord is my Shepherd.
        I am His sheepdog.


        • #5
          The city in which I work has the second largest population of Hmongs. We have a lot officers that speak Hmong and also Spanish.

          On one call, the victim was Hmong, the officer asked for an Asian speaking officer.

          On another call, an officer needed a translator for his victim who spoke Spanish. He asked for a Mexican speaking officer.

          Because some dispatchers just repeat what they hear and not think about what they broadcast, they asked for Asian and Mexican speaking officers. Apparently all Asians speak the same langauage....


          • #6
            Bad memories

            This happened to me in training.

            2nd month of FTO at Long Beach Police Department. Working graveyard, with my FTO (Cox). We were driving down L.B. Blvd., when someone "flagged" us down for help.

            I picked up the microphone and said, Unit 1B66, "were being hailed up." (HAIL; to call for attention, or to call a cab.)

            But the dispatcher thougth I said, "were being held up." After my FTO fixed the confusion, the dispatcher later told me she fell out of the chair and couldn't stop laughing.
            Good Luck and Test Well!
            Author of: How to become a peace officer by Wayne LeQuang (google it)

            L.B.P.D. Academy #75
            6 month of pain, for a 30 year career.

            visit: youtube.com "Black Monday" Great Video from LASD.


            • #7
              I had a supervisor justify a traffic stop to me over the air.


              • #8
                I lateralled to Seattle from NYPD. Here in Seattle, mostly plain language, no 10 codes. In fact there are very few things we use code for. Among those we use are 450 (DWI) and 220 (crazy/EDP). On FTO, I got a DWI, but was looking for another officer to take it. So I asked for a 220 unit (instead of a 450 unit). There was considerable laughter after someone said, "Take your pick."
                "We're not in this business for the money. We're not in it for the excitement, and moments like this. Duty, honor, country, service, truth, and justice are good. But you can do that from behind a desk. In the end, you carry a gun and shield out into the field for the sole purpose of confronting the bad guys. The enemy. There is no other reason to be on the front lines." ~Nelson Demille

                If your story involves Peanut Butter and an animal - give up now!


                • #9
                  when i worked for a sheriff dept, we had a deputy, at the jail go into the bathroom, and we came out on the radio asking for his 10-20(Location) that he receiving 10-21(Phone call) in lobby.

                  He came back water running in background and said I will be 10-6(Busy) adjacent from the front lobby.


                  • #10
                    I was dispatched to a call about 20-30 miles from where I was and responded, that's clear, I'm coming from the other end........as soon as I said it, I knew it...I looked at the other Deputies I was sitting with and the comments started.
                    Moooooooooooo, I'm a goat


                    • #11
                      W was helping a radio Technition fix the base station at the SP desk in Delaware. He sent me outside to the car and told me over the redio, "Key the mike until I tell you to stop."

                      It took us a while...

                      “All men dream...... But not equally..
                      Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find it is vanity;
                      but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men,
                      for they act their dreams with open eyes to make it possible.....”

                      TE Lawrence


                      • #12
                        Shift mate of mine called to run a DL, name was....... Phat Bich Ho


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by usmcrob View Post
                          Shift mate of mine called to run a DL, name was....... Phat Bich Ho
                          Hehe, that's like this "Learn Chinese in 5 minutes"

                          That's not right...
                          Sum Ting Wong

                          Are you harboring a fugitive?...
                          Hu Yu Hai Ding?

                          See me ASAP...
                          Kum Hia Nao

                          Stupid Man...
                          Dum Gai

                          Small Horse...
                          Tai Ni Po Ni

                          Did you go to the beach?...
                          Wai Yu So Tan?

                          I bumped into a coffee table...
                          Ai Bang Mai Ni

                          I think you need a face lift...
                          Chin Tu Fat

                          It's very dark in here...
                          Wai So Dim?

                          I thought you were on a diet...
                          Wai Yu Mun Ching?

                          This is a tow away zone...
                          No Pah King

                          Our meeting is scheduled for next week...
                          Wai Yu Kum Nao?

                          Staying out of sight...
                          Lei Ying Lo

                          He's cleaning his automobile...
                          Wa Shing Ka

                          Your body odor is offensive...
                          Yu Stin Ki Pu
                          "Every morning you are handed 24 golden hours. They are one of the few things in this world that you get free of charge. If you had all the money in the world, you couldn't buy an extra hour. What will you do with this priceless treasure? Remember, you must use it, as it is given only once. Once wasted you cannot get it back." -Anonymous


                          • #14
                            I responded to a medical call for a PNB. I got there, hooked up the defib and the subject was flatline. I was a little flustered with the adrenaline running, and I got on the air to request a coroner (9100 unit). Instead, I asked for a 9600 unit (animal control).


                            • #15
                              Somebody oops'd on the radio during a missing person call- used the word 'widow' instead of 'wife' (the husband was missing). Hopefully she didn't catch it!
                              summer - winter - work


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