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  • Easiest Arrest

    What's the easiest one ever?

    My easiest is a guy who pulled up on the sidewalk in front of the station, staggered out of his rig and walked up to me. I could barely understand him when he slurred that his "best" bar was closed, "and it ain't ever closed". He was concerned and wanted me to go check it out with him. If I remember correctly he managed an easy .270 in the other bar he didn't like before driving to me I had to have someone else come outside to “help” it was just too good not to share.
    The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything

  • #2
    Any dwlsr with knowledge, especially habitual, are the easiest arrests in the world.

    Comment


    • #3
      I had a lady come to the station once to report a laceny. Her crackhead brother had stolen something from her home. She had two other people with her who she didn't identify at first. When I asked where the brother was now one of the guys with her raised his hand and said "here I am". I thought holy cow this woman not only didn't make me come out to her home, she came to the station and brought the suspect with her. Guy gave a confession and went to jail.

      Comment


      • #4
        #1: I follow the sound of squealing tires and crushed sheetmetal and find an old beater plowed into what had been a cherry '65 Mustang. As I'm getting out of my car, the beater's driver dashes across the street in front of me, briefly illuminated by my headlights. The Mustang's owner follows a few seconds behind, screaming threats. I called in to dispatch, checked the cars for injured, and heard a door on my patrol car open and close. The suspect had u-turned and stuffed himself in the back seat.

        #2: Officer on foot patrol radios that he just surprised Billy Burglar stealing used trumpets from a music store but lost him in a foot chase. I knew where Billy lived, drove there, and waited, leaning against a lampost. A few minutes later I hear footsteps and labored breathing. Billy staggers around the corner and sees me. His shoulders slump, he hangs his head, and turns around with his hands behind him, ready for the cuffs.

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        • #5
          #1 I was sitting in my scout car and S-1 whipped his package out and proceeded to urinate on the fence about 50 feet from me. Right after he finished I advised him that he was under arrest.

          Nitwit!

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          • #6
            I had several "regulars" back home that were always driving while suspended or revoked.....

            Everytime I saw them....I would make the T/s and arrest and tow....as I was being cursed at for picking on them.......

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            • #7
              My friend sees a guy acting nervous/suspicious in a parking lot of an apatment complex. He hasn't done anything wrond so my buddy was just gonna go have a consensual encounter with him. As soon as he exited his patrol car the guy looks right at him, reaches in his pocket, throws a bag of crack down on the pavement, and points to it saying "that ain't mine!" I almost ****ed myself laughing when he told me about it.
              Perseverate In Pugna

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              • #8
                Sitting in an abandoned parking lot in a rural area at about 1 AM doing paperwork with headlights on. Car pulls up about 30 feet away in the same lot. He gets out and sways while urinating and realizes I am there about mid stream. He srugs his shoulders, finishes and drives off. I followed, all over the road.


                I just arrested a woman for DWI. Husband drives up and pours himself out of his truck and slurs, "Where is my wife?" My response, you will be with her shortly.
                If one man can make a difference, every man should.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by StudChris View Post
                  Any dwlsr with knowledge, especially habitual, are the easiest arrests in the world.

                  HTO's and warrants are like 'gimmes'. I love em'.

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                  • #10
                    Driving down Sunset Blvd and a guy pulls up next to me. He yells at me to "pull over." I pull over, he pulls in front of me, approaches the hood of my car as I tell him to stop. He reaches into his jacket pocket (as I'm beginning to clear leather) and he throws a crack pipe onto my hood saying, "Please arrest me, I can't deal with this any more!"

                    I booked him on a charge I used only once in 30 years, 23152(C?)VC Addict Driving. He pled guilty and about nine months later, I'm attending an A.A. function when I fell a tap on my shoulder. I turn around. There he is, thanking me, all over again.
                    "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

                    Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

                    Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

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                    • #11
                      My easiest was one I, thankfully, didn't make.

                      Had a guy once meet me at the back gate of the PD who said he had warrants and wanted to turn himself in. I was almost off duty but a warrant arrest for us is a 3X5 card so it was an easy stat. I get out and run his info and while I am waiting for dispatch we start talking...just as dispatch advised that in fact he has $30,000 in warrants and asked if I want them to pull the warrant, he says "I wont have to sit in the back of the car will I?" The way he says it a little bell goes off in my head, so I ask, why? He then tells me that he tried to do something that was similar to a stunt on the movie "Jack*****." He says he put a lit flare in his back pocket and ran around with it. The problem was he didn't get it out in time and burnt himself a new a hole (literally), and he had just been thrown out of the hospital because he had no insurance. His injury was especially painful because it had turned gangrenous. He figured if he got arrested then he could get free medical treatment. In our county all medical bookings have to be watched by us for the first 24 hours before the Sheriff will take over.

                      I told dispatch that I had the wrong subject and went OD
                      Originally posted by FJDave
                      GM, you have just set the bar that much higher for the rest of us in our witty, sarcastic responses. I yield to you! Good job, kind Sir!

                      District B13
                      "We are not cops nor Feds." yet he still poses as an officer Hmmmm


                      Grant us grace, fearlessly, to contend against evil and to make no peace with oppression.--WWII memorial

                      "I have loved justice and hated iniquity, therefore I die in exile."

                      Pope Gregory V II

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                      • #12
                        Easiest Arrests

                        Wow, I have had a LOT that have been easy. The easiest drunk driving arrest that I recall at the moment was at my previous PD. I was following and old pickup truck, but I did not activate my lights. I probably would have stopped it, but it made a couple of quick turns and pulled off to the shoulder. I stopped behind it, but still did not activate lights. The driver gets out of the vehicle, puts his hands up in the air on his own, and starts walking back to me. He then says, "I am drunk and I have warrants, take me to jail!" I said something along the lines of, "well, we aim to please!"

                        I am assigned to civil process and I try to run warrant checks on everyone before I go and serve them. A couple of weeks ago I get an eviction and I know the resident has a felony warrant. We simply make entry and I hook her up.

                        The easiest double bagger was I went to a flop house to arrest a kid on a felony warrant. He is upstairs and hook him up. As I am getting ready to put him back on his feet, his old man says something from in back. Sure enough, we run him and both the father and son go to jail together on the family plan.

                        I am not real big into doing surveillance for any period of time because I am usually too busy, but I do remember tipping a guy I know to tell me when his neighbor is home. A couple days later he says the vehicle is there. I sit on it for maybe ten minutes and he hops in and drives away. I call for a uniformed PD guy to assist and arrest one of the biggest internet child pornographers that our county attorneys office ever prosecuted.

                        I have had pretty good luck on a lot of my felony warrant by talking to neighbors in the decent areas of our county. Generally speaking, if someone knows that someone living near them is a wanted fugitive they will call when they see him around.

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                        • #13
                          I had just checked on for my shift when my dispatch advised me that there was an invidual that had come to visit a buddy in jail. Turns out the visitor had a warrant. I waited in the lobby until the visitor came out, told him he was under arrest and then pointed to another door and told him to walk through there. The jailor was waiting on the other side of the door.

                          Don't see how it could be much easier than that...

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                          • #14
                            I once pulled a guy over on a minor traffic violation - I think he ran a stop sign. It was a while ago.

                            From the get go, this guy had an attitude; "Why'd you stop me," "I didn't do anything wrong," "Don't you have anything better to do?" "My lawyer will eat you for lunch," etc. You get the message.

                            Just as he opens his wallet to produce his DL, a hand rolled cigarette falls to the ground. He tries to pick it up, but I step on it and push him away. I retrieve the marijuana cigarette and he gets to wear silver bracelets.

                            Easy and most satisfying.

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                            • #15
                              last time my broke self went to the jail to eat for free. i pulled into the sally port and did not even have time to put my things in the trunk when this guy starts yelling at me from the other side of the fence. i walk over, he hands me his license and states that a warrant was just issued for him. i attempted to confirm the warrant on the radio but they didn't even have it in the computer yet. got another deputy to stand there and watch him while i ran inside and found his papers waiting to be entered. he decided it would be better to just turn himself in than to go back to lake county, get picked up later and spend time in their jail before we went and got him.

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