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They sent ME to this call...

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  • They sent ME to this call...

    I'm telling you guys, I am karmic-ly screwed or something. I don't kick puppies, I help the elderly cross the street, but I must have done something seriously bad as a teenager because my karma is shot to chit and back.

    Anyhow, I'm in my Office this weekend typing my little fingers off on a narrative that was hitting nine pages real fast. Communications hits the tones and sends me to BoJangles where the manager has called, all up in a panic because one of his employees was just kidnapped. Yep.

    I go. I get there and everythings movin' along just fine and out walks the manager.

    He's like....12.

    Hand to God, the kid was all of 5 foot nothing, 100 pounds soakin' wet with rocks in his pockets, and he's FREAKIN' out. Head to toe shaking, rapid breathin. For heaven's sake, I almost put my arm around him and assured him it would alright...my SON is 10, 5 foot tall, and 100 pounds....I couldn't help but feelin' sorta motherly to this little man.

    Anyhow, I'm tryin' to get the information about the kidnapped employee. According to Manager mini-me his employee was working at the biscuit table when an unknown B/M and B/F enter the employee entrance, walk over, take aholt of him (we take aholt of people here in the South, we don't just grab 'em, we take aholt of 'em), and snatch him off the biscuit table and drag him out the door to the parking lot. *ahem* The employee still HAS the biscuits in his hands, mind you, and is screaming at his fellow employees to call the police. Manager Mini-me runs outside where the two unknowns persons and now shoving the employee into a green over grey Jeep Cherokee. He says to them that he's calling the Police to which the woman turns to him, points her finger at him and says, "I'm this boy's mama, don't you call no police." So Manager Mini-me freezes on the spot...total vapor lock. He does, thankfully, manage to call us a little while later...

    I get the employees information, give it to a road Officer who goes to the house and starts trying to sort is all out. Manager Mini-Me is now having another crisis. He wants ME to tell him how he's suppose to get another biscuit maker on such short notice. Do I think she's going to bring him back? What should he do? Are you kidding me? I don't know, but common sense should...SHOULD...tell you that if mama comes in here with some 300+ pound man and snatches your biscuit maker up off the line, chances are she ain't bringing him back.


    Long story longer, apparently mama has gotten sick of her son's mess...running the roads, staying out all hours of the night, he's only 17 and has a brand spankin' new baby to care for...mama has moved his child AND the baby's mama into the trailer with HER, but her son can't be bothered to come home, clean their part of the residence, or anything like that. So she called her brother to come down from CT (the 300+ lbs man) and together they go to the boys work and take him. They bring him home...she has all his stuff packed...and she sends him up to CT for his uncle to straighten him out. Yep.

    Now. I come from the school of "he's under 18 and you're his mama...I ain't telling you how to raise the child" so I didn't do anything. The boy wasn't hurt...oh, he was embarrassed, but he wasn't hurt. He's still a juvenile and I wasn't about to stand between a woman that will go into a place of business and physicall pull the child out of there and her son. Nope. Not going to do it.

    I got back to my Office and there's a message from Manager Mini-me. He wants to know if he can press charges on mama for scaring him and leaving him without a biscuit maker.

    Do y'all SEE why I think my karma is screwed?
    sigpic

    I don't agree with your opinion, but I respect its straightforwardness in terms of wrongness.

  • #2
    Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha........

    Were you at the Waffle House or Ma and Pa Kettles when this happened....?


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    • #3
      I was at a BoJangles...and Manager Mini-me kept telling me the boy had the biscuits IN HIS HANDS when they grabbed him and I thought, "Son. If you tell me you want to charge them with larceny, I'm going to pop you right upside your head."

      Thankfully, he didn't say it, but I saw the wheels turning.
      sigpic

      I don't agree with your opinion, but I respect its straightforwardness in terms of wrongness.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Smurfette_76 View Post
        I was at a BoJangles...and Manager Mini-me kept telling me the boy had the biscuits IN HIS HANDS when they grabbed him and I thought, "Son. If you tell me you want to charge them with larceny, I'm going to pop you right upside your head."

        Thankfully, he didn't say it, but I saw the wheels turning.
        Check your myspace later....


        Last edited by Bearcat357; 09-10-2007, 09:51 AM.

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        • #5
          What the frick is a biscuit table?

          Only in NC can you shut down a chicken place cause there ain't no biscuits.

          You guys in NC certainly live up to the stereotype don't you.

          As for the new buscuit maker, I hear Peaches is looking for work.
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGrqW3nx5HM
          Last edited by ejay; 09-10-2007, 10:11 AM.
          "Get this and get it straight! Crime is a sucker's road and those who travel it wind up in the gutter, the prison, or the grave. There's no other end. They never learn."

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          • #6
            Thanks, Smurfette_76, that was great!

            Guess he should have been looking after his "biscuit" after it came out of the "oven".

            Better sell this story to the networks as an episode of some sad sit-com!!
            #32936 - Royal Canadian Mounted Police - 1975-10-27 / 2010-12-29
            Proud Dad of #54266 - RCMP - 2007-02-12 to date
            RCMP Veterans Association - Regina Division member
            Mounted Police Professional Association of Canada - Associate (Retired) member
            "Smile" - no!

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            • #7
              Originally posted by ejay View Post
              What the frick is a biscuit table?
              At the danger of soundin' like the queen of Obvious...that would be the place where they make the BISCUITS! LOL This, evidently, is serious. To not have someone AT the biscuit table is cause for some serious panic in the chicken-n-biscuit world....especially to Manager Mini-Me, who had just conquered shoe tieing and the letter "B" the day prior.
              sigpic

              I don't agree with your opinion, but I respect its straightforwardness in terms of wrongness.

              Comment


              • #8
                Did you just use us to win a bet on how many times you could say "biscuit maker?" You've been watching Super Troopers again, haven't you?
                If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

                ---Jack Handey

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                • #9
                  BTW, Smurfette, you're quickly becoming my new Redders, since he's taken a turn for the serious lately.
                  If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

                  ---Jack Handey

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                  • #10
                    With a ten year old manager sounds like the place is a sweat shop. I don't like sweat in my biscuits so I be skipping the Bo Jangles stop!!
                    Prov 17:17 A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by School Cop View Post
                      Did you just use us to win a bet on how many times you could say "biscuit maker?" You've been watching Super Troopers again, haven't you?

                      You know we did.
                      sigpic

                      I don't agree with your opinion, but I respect its straightforwardness in terms of wrongness.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by pujolsfan146 View Post
                        With a ten year old manager sounds like the place is a sweat shop. I don't like sweat in my biscuits so I be skipping the Bo Jangles stop!!

                        Don't matter hon...they ain't got a biscuit maker anymore! He's somewhere in CT now! LOL
                        sigpic

                        I don't agree with your opinion, but I respect its straightforwardness in terms of wrongness.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          omg i needed a good laugh i sat at my desk dying laughing for about 20 mins of course all all of cid had to investigate wtf was wrong with me!
                          ‎"I'm angry. It's okay. I'll process my anger. I love myself. Whoosah.

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                          • #14
                            Thanks for the story, thats the best laugh I've had in a while.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Thanks, Smurfette, you crack me up!
                              Last edited by Kieth M.; 09-10-2007, 06:48 PM.
                              "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

                              Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

                              Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

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