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Seriously...
is anyone else here a crap magnet, or just me? I don't understand how the strangest/oddest/most bizzare mess just seems to HAPPEN to me. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's not.
My neighbors decided to have a domestic "issue" this evening. I picked up the phone to call comm when I heard the screaming. I stepped out on my front porch and he's grabbed her by the throat, picked her up off her feet, and slung her back in the house. I'd mistakenly thought this was merely a verbal issue...i didn't realize he was playing caveman. So. In my bedroom shoes AND PAJAMAS, no doubt, I go tearing off through the row of bushes separating the two properties and don't you just KNOW that evidently those bushes have thorns all in them. Lost a shoe. Tore my legs up from thigh to ankle and proceeded to bleed all over the place. Tripped on a root. Screaming and cussing at the top of my lungs...I can't repeat what I was yellin', but y'all can guess. He takes one look at me and says, "sh*t"
well I reckon so. My hair was on top of my head, I had cream all over my face, wearin' my freaking pajamas and house shoes, limping with one shoe missin' and both legs bleeding. The responding officers did a double take.
And. And. AAAANNNNDDDD, don't you just KNOW she wouldn't press charges and I went to the MAGISTRATES office lookin' like that. Now here I sit...puttin' antisceptic on my legs and typing out a narrative to attach to the report.
I love my job. 
My neighbors decided to have a domestic "issue" this evening. I picked up the phone to call comm when I heard the screaming. I stepped out on my front porch and he's grabbed her by the throat, picked her up off her feet, and slung her back in the house. I'd mistakenly thought this was merely a verbal issue...i didn't realize he was playing caveman. So. In my bedroom shoes AND PAJAMAS, no doubt, I go tearing off through the row of bushes separating the two properties and don't you just KNOW that evidently those bushes have thorns all in them. Lost a shoe. Tore my legs up from thigh to ankle and proceeded to bleed all over the place. Tripped on a root. Screaming and cussing at the top of my lungs...I can't repeat what I was yellin', but y'all can guess. He takes one look at me and says, "sh*t"
well I reckon so. My hair was on top of my head, I had cream all over my face, wearin' my freaking pajamas and house shoes, limping with one shoe missin' and both legs bleeding. The responding officers did a double take.
And. And. AAAANNNNDDDD, don't you just KNOW she wouldn't press charges and I went to the MAGISTRATES office lookin' like that. Now here I sit...puttin' antisceptic on my legs and typing out a narrative to attach to the report.
I love my job.
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