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  • Becoming a father

    I am having my first child in January. I am also in the middle of a career change into either a new department in a different state or into federal service.

    I have never been so stressed in my life about how to prepare. I am worried I will be gone when my girlfriend gives birth; I don't want her to be alone during that. I'm also juggling taking a job offer now and moving before we give birth or waiting until after our daughter arrives to get up and move.


  • #2
    Have family help as much as possible while your gone. Keep in contact as much as possible give encouragement to the mom. I personally wouldn’t consider a job change with a first child birth unless there is a strong family presence. Now I don’t really think you can prepare for parenthood. Buy clothes, diapers, and food sleep when you can.
    Where'd you learn that, Cheech? Drug school?

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Saluki89 View Post
      I am having my first child in January. I am also in the middle of a career change into either a new department in a different state or into federal service.

      I have never been so stressed in my life about how to prepare. I am worried I will be gone when my girlfriend gives birth; I don't want her to be alone during that. I'm also juggling taking a job offer now and moving before we give birth or waiting until after our daughter arrives to get up and move.
      You and your girlfriend had just better get used to you being gone.

      It will happen.............................. You will miss many important events while you are serving your city/state/county as an officer. It's part of the profession
      Since some people need to be told by notes in crayon .......Don't PM me with without prior permission. If you can't discuss the situation in the open forum ----it must not be that important

      My new word for the day is FOCUS, when someone irritates you tell them to FOCUS

      Comment


      • Aidokea
        Aidokea commented
        Editing a comment
        This......

    • #4
      When it rains, it pours, eh?

      If you end up federal and at Glynco during time of birth, you'll get two days off to participate. So there's that.

      RE: moving. Do that before, not after, if possible. Just trust me on that.

      This will all work out. Sacagawea gave birth to baby Pomp after drinking crushed rattlesnake rattles on the banks of the Missouri River while Lewis and Clark watched. I suspect that wasn't exactly stress free.....
      1N73LL1G3NC3 15 7H3 4B1L17Y 70 4D4P7 70 CH4NG3.

      -573PH3N H4WK1NG

      Comment


      • Ratatatat
        Ratatatat commented
        Editing a comment
        And congratulations, btw. Buckle up... you're in for quite a ride.

      • OliveOyl
        OliveOyl commented
        Editing a comment
        Agreed, move before.

    • #5
      Congrats. Life is changing now. You will have really some high highs. And also, you and your lady are done being alone. The laundry room, garage, and kids rooms will all be future love nests. Your bedroom, nada.

      Comment


      • #6
        Congrats.

        It will take a special girl, to manage a new baby while providing you with the silence and darkness necessary for you to sleep days so that you can work nights.

        And then when your daughter hits puberty, you'll simply stop sleeping for about the next 15 years or so...
        Last edited by Aidokea; 10-01-2020, 10:48 PM.

        Comment


        • #7
          I'm an SRO. Lock the kid in a room under the stairs until they are 25.
          "I am a Soldier. I fight where I'm told and I win where I fight." -- GEN George S. Patton, Jr.

          "With a brother on my left and a sister on my right, we face…. We face what no one should face. We face, so no one else would face. We are in the face of Death." -- Holli Peet

          Comment


          • Aidokea
            Aidokea commented
            Editing a comment
            I think he could probably wait until puberty before doing that...

          • tanksoldier
            tanksoldier commented
            Editing a comment
            I’ve got an 8 year old threatening to bring guns and knives to the elementary school, telling students and staff they are on his kill list... and he actually wrote out the kill list.

          • Iowa #1603
            Iowa #1603 commented
            Editing a comment
            Your 8 yr old needs more than being locked in his room

        • #8
          Congratulations! My first child was born in January also, but 50 years ago while I was serving in Vietnam. I received notification a couple of days later via the American Red Cross. My second child was born while I was working night shifts walking a foot beat in a city of 120,000, no reliable radio communications. My alert "tower light" came on advising me to go to a call box and contact dispatch and I got to the hospital about an hour or so later.

          Be thankful for the wonderful conveniences of modern communications! Go with Mama to the Lamaze classes and learn to breath in deeply through the nose and exhale slowly through the mouth. It will all be okay!

          Comment


          • #9
            Originally posted by retired1995 View Post
            Congratulations! My first child was born in January also, but 50 years ago while I was serving in Vietnam. I received notification a couple of days later via the American Red Cross. My second child was born while I was working night shifts walking a foot beat in a city of 120,000, no reliable radio communications. My alert "tower light" came on advising me to go to a call box and contact dispatch and I got to the hospital about an hour or so later.

            Be thankful for the wonderful conveniences of modern communications! Go with Mama to the Lamaze classes and learn to breath in deeply through the nose and exhale slowly through the mouth. It will all be okay!
            Things like this really make me grateful to have the gift (and curse) of instant communications....

            Comment


            • #10
              Thanks all.

              I am incredibly excited to be a father. I must admit I am a bit nervous about it all (mostly because I'm having a daughter and I am intimately aware of how boys are when they are 'of age').

              We are away from family, and if/when we move, will then be even further away from our family, and away from all of our friends; officially on our own.

              It's definitely going to be a rough ride indeed in the next few months.
              Last edited by Saluki89; 10-04-2020, 04:25 PM.

              Comment


              • #11
                Originally posted by Saluki89 View Post
                Thanks all.

                I am incredibly excited to be a father. I must admit I am a bit nervous about it all (mostly because I'm having a daughter and I am intimately aware of how boys are when they are 'of age').

                We are away from family, and if/when we move, will then be even further away from our family, and away from all of our friends; officially on our own.

                It's definitely going to be a rough ride indeed in the next few months.
                I have only been a father for 5 years, and I am still nervous about it. But it's ok. It does kinda keep me on my A game. One of the greatest joys in life is when I come home from working night shift and my boys without fail meet me at the door and hug me. Their mother, I am lucky to get a peck on the cheek (I am joking....kinda). I was in the same boat as you, we she was pregnant we were living in WA state and the rest of our family was in Chicago. She and I had a discussion and we came to the conclusion that a move back home would have been best and I was blessed enough to get a job a very well-respected agency outside of Chicago. But our situation was unique to us just like yours is unique to you. You guys will make it through, it will rough. But the payoff is worth it.

                Comment


                • #12
                  Originally posted by Saluki89 View Post
                  Thanks all.

                  I am incredibly excited to be a father. I must admit I am a bit nervous about it all (mostly because I'm having a daughter and I am intimately aware of how boys are when they are 'of age').

                  We are away from family, and if/when we move, will then be even further away from our family, and away from all of our friends; officially on our own.

                  It's definitely going to be a rough ride indeed in the next few months.
                  My wife and I were 100 miles away from her family and almost 200 miles away from my family . PLUS we had a special needs child. Babysitters were not an option so my wife did not work outside of the home until the boy graduated HS.

                  I was working midnight's so she handled 90% of the things that came up when I was either working or asleep
                  You make things work
                  Since some people need to be told by notes in crayon .......Don't PM me with without prior permission. If you can't discuss the situation in the open forum ----it must not be that important

                  My new word for the day is FOCUS, when someone irritates you tell them to FOCUS

                  Comment


                  • Aidokea
                    Aidokea commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Yup........

                • #13
                  Originally posted by Saluki89 View Post
                  Thanks all.

                  I am incredibly excited to be a father. I must admit I am a bit nervous about it all (mostly because I'm having a daughter and I am intimately aware of how boys are when they are 'of age').

                  We are away from family, and if/when we move, will then be even further away from our family, and away from all of our friends; officially on our own.

                  It's definitely going to be a rough ride indeed in the next few months.
                  Having daughters is awesome, I have two boys and a girl (sequence: boy, girl, boy). I love them all the same, but a daughter is something special... My youngest is in 10th grade, the older two are graduated and working, still living at home. #1 advice I would give: FILM EVERYTHING, to the point your woman probably rolls her eyes and gets annoyed. I just paid $300 some odd dollars to have all my old VHS tapes digitized so I can keep all the videos of my kids when they were younger... it was worth every penny. What used to drive my wife crazy now is like gold to both of us, to be able to go back and visit that time when they were small and said and did cute things is priceless.
                  Be dangerous, and unpredictable... and make a lot of noise. - John Bush, Anthrax

                  Comment


                  • Saluki89
                    Saluki89 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Yeah my parents did that to me so I'll pass it on to her. We did the same from our old camcorder cassettes and now have hours of footage on a flash drive.

                • #14
                  So my girlfriend and I have decided to move back to Chicago where my parents and sisters are just to have the support we need to have our first child. I'm in the middle of a career transition anyway and we think now is the time to do it.

                  This will allow her to have a support structure in case I have to go away to a new academy so she isn't alone; then we can move once I'm done with training. Her family is on the east coast and neither of us want to move out there.

                  I'm very excited to be a father and I thank you all for the advice.
                  Last edited by Saluki89; 10-24-2020, 01:25 PM.

                  Comment


                  • #15
                    Originally posted by Saluki89 View Post
                    So my girlfriend and I have decided to move back to Chicago where my parents and sisters are just to have the support we need to have our first child. I'm in the middle of a career transition anyway and we think now is the time to do it.

                    This will allow her to have a support structure in case I have to go away to a new academy so she isn't alone; then we can move once I'm done with training. Her family is on the east coast and neither of us want to move out there.

                    I'm very excited to be a father and I thank you all for the advice.
                    I made the same decision to move back to Chicago from Washington because of family reasons. You do what you gotta do. If you're in Chicagoland let me know if you need anything.

                    Comment


                    • Saluki89
                      Saluki89 commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Thanks. I'm looking forward to coming home and working up there.

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