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Ratio of female DV arrests to male DV arrests

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  • Ratio of female DV arrests to male DV arrests

    What do you guys think? I'm thinking for every 4 or 5 males it's 1 female that is the aggressor.


  • #2
    Yeah, something like that.

    In certain cultures where females solving their problems with their fists is considered "normal", it tends to be higher...

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    • #3
      Arrests? Yea, it could be anywhere from 5-10:1. Personally, I think that's because male-victim DV is severely under-reported. The number of female aggressors in DV relationships may realistically be closer to 50/50...for example, how rare do you think it is to have a female slap a male during an argument and it isn't reported?
      "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."
      -Friedrich Nietzsche

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      • #4
        I agree with Bing_Oh. In the State of Tennessee we are to determine the primary aggressor and then we shall arrest. Very rarely do we have a male report to us that they have been assaulted by a female. It does happen but it is rare. Most of the time after we arrive on the scene we will determine the outcome. There has been occasions where the female physically assaulted the male and then called us. So then the female complainant ends up going to jail. Often we will get to court and the male/female does not want to cooperate and wants the charges to be dropped.

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        • #5
          Arrests are probably 10:1 if not higher. I agree the actual ratio is probably closer to 1:1.

          A woman striking a man is no different than a man striking a woman, legally, but which gets reported more?
          "I am a Soldier. I fight where I'm told and I win where I fight." -- GEN George S. Patton, Jr.

          "With a brother on my left and a sister on my right, we face…. We face what no one should face. We face, so no one else would face. We are in the face of Death." -- Holli Peet

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          • #6
            ...or a male striking a male...ish, or a Butch striking a Mary, or a gender non-binary striking a sheep, or a pre-op LGBTQ Harley owner striking their own right hand, or...
            Last edited by Aidokea; 08-25-2020, 10:33 PM.

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            • #7
              It’s definitely 50/50 in Indian Country
              US Army Veteran
              The opinions expressed above are not those of any official capacity or agency. Fix yourself.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Aidokea View Post
                ...or a male striking a male...ish, or a Butch striking a Mary, or a gender non-binary striking a sheep, or a pre-op LGBTQ Harley owner striking their own right hand, or...
                Had a case where two dudes beat the crap out of each other all night with a piece of rebar. One would have it and beat on the other, then the other got it and pounded the first guy. Supposedly this went on for hours. Both were in bad shape by the time they called us.

                They broke up and both moved out of the county, thank the gods.
                "I am a Soldier. I fight where I'm told and I win where I fight." -- GEN George S. Patton, Jr.

                "With a brother on my left and a sister on my right, we face…. We face what no one should face. We face, so no one else would face. We are in the face of Death." -- Holli Peet

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                • #9
                  I don't care what the ratio maybe. Just which one is the primary aggressor.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by hold the air View Post
                    What do you guys think? I'm thinking for every 4 or 5 males it's 1 female that is the aggressor.
                    As far as reported, thats probably right.

                    The reality is men are victims of domestic violence just as much as women. In NC, we have DV paperwork we give to the victims, such as places to get help, medical, counseling, places to stay, etc....and it is virtually all geared to women. The only option a male party has is the mens shelter.

                    Men simply aren't encouraged to report abuse, and there are not many resources available to men. I would say many men would be too embarrased to report abuse, and are even more afraid of not being believed when police arrive on scene.

                    How many times have you been on a call and the aggressor is a female, but officers on scene make every attempt NOT to arrest the female, but when it is the male, no questions asked, he is arrested on the spot.
                    John 15:13 - Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by NC Marine View Post
                      As far as reported, thats probably right.

                      The reality is men are victims of domestic violence just as much as women. In NC, we have DV paperwork we give to the victims, such as places to get help, medical, counseling, places to stay, etc....and it is virtually all geared to women. The only option a male party has is the mens shelter.

                      Men simply aren't encouraged to report abuse, and there are not many resources available to men. I would say many men would be too embarrased to report abuse, and are even more afraid of not being believed when police arrive on scene.

                      How many times have you been on a call and the aggressor is a female, but officers on scene make every attempt NOT to arrest the female, but when it is the male, no questions asked, he is arrested on the spot.
                      Personally, I have no problem arresting a female for DV...I've done it many times and won't hesitate to do it again. I find the bigger problem to usually be getting the male to actually admit that he was a victim. With men, the violence is usually mentioned off-handedly while they describe the incident as a whole...and sometimes not even then, unless you ask probing follow-up questions. While having to dig for information isn't unusual with a female DV victim either, that's more frequently because they're afraid of the suspect. With men, more likely it's because they are embarrassed or don't put the same significance on the violence as a female does.
                      "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."
                      -Friedrich Nietzsche

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                      • #12
                        Then there are the serial DV relationships. Calls to the cops on a regular basis, neighbor complaints routinely. Domestic violence is simply a part of their psyche and relationship. Their lives are like soap operas and when the other actors involved refuse to play the expected role they call the cops in to "edit the scene" for them. No matter how many complaints, no matter how many arrests, no matter how many court actions, no matter how many social services referrals, they will always be together and they will always continue to live their lives the good old fashioned ways they grew up with (until one or the other dies, or takes off with another partner for parts unknown, etc). Even if they eventually split up each will usually find another partner just like the first one within a few weeks.

                        In several long-term situations I recall using my "informal restraining orders", which consisted of explaining to the combatant couples a very simple procedure: If she makes a credible complaint against him, he goes to jail; if he makes a credible complaint against her, she goes to jail. If both go to jail and there are kids in the house, the kids go to child protective services (with the attendant long civil court processes involved). In short, let them know that I am not the director for their little soap operas, and I am not the referee for their prize fights, I'm just the guy who brings the handcuffs and does a little paperwork to make a problem stop.

                        They can scream "That's not fair!" and "You can't do that!" all they want. After the first few bookings, bail hearings, court appearances, social service referrals, and explaining to their bosses why they need ANOTHER day off work this week, they usually start to understand the process.

                        My vote is 1-to-1 for male/female DV instigators, but actual arrests are typically male in the vast majority of cases.

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                        • #13
                          I think True Detective put it best: "The fundamental difference between the sexes is that one of them can kill the other with their bare hands". We do under-arrest females in "he hit me, no, she hit me" scenarios. Hell, I once had to deal with a male in custody who had been stabbed in the abdomen by his female partner. She didn't have mark on her but he still got arrested. Male DV shelters are like hens' teeth. But when push comes to shove (literally) vastly more women die at the hands of their male partners than vice versa. So, ultimately, there's the reason.

                          That said, I remember being lectured on a training day by an academic who told us: "In every DV, situation there's always an aggressor and a victim". I stuck my oar in and said yes, that's generally true but certainly not in every case. I've dealt with any number of drunks or druggies in a relationship who, one week it will be the male who bashes the female, and next week the female the male (and also male/male and female/female, particularly the latter for some reason). Nope, I was told, that never happens. Yes, it does, I speak what I do know. No (she responded and clearly feeling she had won the argument) the research doesn't support that. So what do I know.
                          I'm a little bit waayy, a little bit wooah, a little bit woosh, I'm a geezer.

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                          • SHU
                            SHU commented
                            Editing a comment
                            The research often isn't reflective of reality but it almost always reflects the researcher's bias.

                        • #14
                          Originally posted by Bing_Oh View Post

                          Personally, I have no problem arresting a female for DV...I've done it many times and won't hesitate to do it again. I find the bigger problem to usually be getting the male to actually admit that he was a victim. With men, the violence is usually mentioned off-handedly while they describe the incident as a whole...and sometimes not even then, unless you ask probing follow-up questions. While having to dig for information isn't unusual with a female DV victim either, that's more frequently because they're afraid of the suspect. With men, more likely it's because they are embarrassed or don't put the same significance on the violence as a female does.
                          Sadly, as a society, I think as much as we strive for equality with the genders, we allow men to accept a certain amount of abuse, that were the roles reversed, no questions asked, the man would be arrested on the spot.

                          Men need to realize abuse is NOT OK , even when on the recieving end. Many LEO need to recognize this as well.
                          John 15:13 - Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

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