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  • Question for retired LE members

    I hope to be retired (pending the sale of my home) in anywhere from 3-6 weeks. We intend to leave for another state.

    My general plans are well known, but the specifics are not because of the home being on the market, still. People keep asking about a party...doing something for me...a caricature retirement flyer...an end-of-watch radio broadcast. I don't want any part of it. I want to leave, unnoticed, out the door.

    There are a few reasons for this.

    One - In my lifetime contract with my Creator, there's this clause that says 'wherever I go, I do not fit in.' Even though I've spent 30 years here, I still feel like the brown shoes in the room full of tuxedos. 22 years of sobriety, often mixed with psychotherapy, has not fixed those feelings.

    Two - My wife is a civilian employee of the Department, and I really think she's been treated like a second-class citizen, at times, even by former supervisors/partners of mine. They are screwing her pretty good right now, after an IOD shoulder surgery and she's no longer getting paid.

    Three - I have little kids...any party would have to have juice boxes, rice krispie snacks, ...but since I don't drink we could always have it at Chuck E. Cheese!

    Four - I just don't feel like having a friggin' party.

    Five - Although I love the job of being a cop and a sergeant...I just don't love the city right now. Getting any paperwork of appreciation, from the City Council or hizzoner, Mayor Reconquista, would gag me.

    Now my 78 year-old mom, my 23 year-old son, keep asking, "What, no party?" My wife has people working behind the scenes about caricatures and EOW broadcasts. Fellow sergeants keep saying "We need to do something for you!" Every time I find out - I put the kibosh on it. Do I let them throw a party...a party I would not attend if I had a choice...so they feel better about my leaving?

    I know I should have called Dr. Laura....or tried to get on Dr. Phil with this, but I trust you guys!

    So let me ask you....did you want all the bells and whistles? Did you not? Did they do it, anyway? Are you glad you did? Do you wish you had not?
    Last edited by Kieth M.; 05-30-2007, 10:47 PM.
    "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

    Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

    Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

  • #2
    I retired 16 months ago. I too didn't want a party. I had been to enough retirement parties in my career and didn't want to inflict on others the boring presentations and speeches. My Lts decided otherwise and had an open house my last day. Nothing formal, just stop in if a person wanted to and have some snacks. It was nice to see people who because of our assignments we hadn't seen each other for a couple of years. My wife wanted to have something later. I told her if she persisted it would be invite only. It was a nice party but more than I would have allowed. It was just dinner and 1 of my Troops put together a video of my career which is nice to have. A couple of others put together a video of some details we'd been on together which was funny. Again, it was nice to see some I hadn't seen for a while. One of my FTOs is still alive and he showed up which was nice. So did some of the guys who I worked with when I came on and who had long ago retired including 1 who never went to retirement parties.
    While I didn't want anything like you, I agreed to it for my family. They wanted something so I went along. I figured they sacrificed more during my career than I did so it was really a party for them.
    Go ahead and let them throw a party. If you don't a big blow out then ask they keep it simple. You won't regret it.
    183 FBINA

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Kieth M. View Post

      Five - Although I love the job of being a cop and a sergeant...I just don't love the city right now. Getting any paperwork of appreciation, from the City Council or hizzoner, Mayor Reconquista, would gag me.
      Kieth,

      I retired on a 4850, and not a service retirement, so mine was a bit different. I never got, nor would I ever want all the warm and fuzzies associated with a department organized/sponsored retirement party...yuck!

      Is it possible to meet them halfway? No bells or whistles, no golden handshake from the mayor or COP, no engraved watch. Just you, your family, and some of your best buds from work, at the local Chuck E Cheese. Is something like that doable? That's what I got. (except it was at a friend's house, and we had exotic dancers, but that's another story)

      From experience, I can tell you you'll not miss the actual "police stuff" once you've retired. What you'll probably miss, is being a part of the LE brotherhood. Much like professional athletes describe once they've retired.

      My unless you really feel strongly against it, let them do you this small favor.

      Good luck short timer
      "Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought" ~Henri Louis Bergson
      ______________________


      ComptonPOLICEGANGS.com

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      • #4
        I pulled the pin almost 5 years ago, and also didn't want anything done for the same reasons you stated. I was advised otherwise, and they had it during my duty time, so I had no choice. Surprisingly, more people showed up for my gig than they do for upper management (like you, a Sgt). It was cool.
        But it's your time. If you don't want anything, tell them you don't want it and sneak out a back door.
        Three Stripes beats Four Aces.
        Retirement: You've Won the War when you're Paid to Stay at Home.

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        • #5
          I had a full retirement party with caricature, a roast etc. But the decision to do so was mine and not anyone else.

          In my mind, you are the one to make the decision.

          I had a good time and still have the pictures and a video of the event.
          Retired

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          • #6
            I retired 54 weeks ago, don't really miss any of it----IMO--skip the party. What the Dept REALLY thought of you was shown while you were on the job, not as you're walking out the door---and besides--- 20 mins. after you walk out no one will remember or care what you did or how you did it.........

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            • #7
              Retired LE Members

              Keith, I know where you're coming from. I didn't want a "party", finally settled on a luncheon hosted by my Asst. Division Chief, and Unit Commander. It was sweet, simple, and enjoyable. The Captain handed me my retirement certificate, and we essentially enjoyed a really great meal. Didn't really even want that, but, you meet folks half way I guess.

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              • #8
                The BEST retirement parties i've been to Keith, were VERy small get-togethers..the retiree and a couple of CLOSE friends the big bashes always seem forced at best to me...IMO Much like Promotional parties..i fail to see the reason I should have to lay out a few hundred bucks to feed drinks and food to people i normally wouldnt socialize with.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by hemicop View Post
                  ---and besides--- 20 mins. after you walk out no one will remember or care what you did or how you did it.........

                  I've been saying this for ten years now.

                  I'm not retired yet, though eligible to. I will not have a formal retirement party, for many of the reasons you outlined.
                  You can now follow me on twitter.

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                  • #10
                    I retired in 1996, I didn't want a retirement party and no one offered one. The only thing I wanted was the retirement certificate signed by members of the dept. which I got 6 months after retirement sent via the mail. I have had zero contact with anyone from the dept. in the 11 years since I retired.
                    Retired LASD

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Retired96 View Post
                      I retired in 1996, I didn't want a retirement party and no one offered one. The only thing I wanted was the retirement certificate signed by members of the dept. which I got 6 months after retirement sent via the mail. I have had zero contact with anyone from the dept. in the 11 years since I retired.
                      Same here on all points - only just 4 years. Kinda like pro sports. When you're out - you're way out.
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