Why do officers "eat their young"?

[CrymsinSky]

I am a relative rookie...two years on the street...but in law enforcement for six total years (worked as a dispatcher for the rest of the time). My department has usually been frought with rumors...people feed off them. Recently I have discovered that people have started rumors about my wife messing around with officers in the department several years back. She and I were going through a difficult time and were only dating at the time. By the way, I do know who she was messing with and it was not an officer. I could understand starting rumors about me but when they start going after the character of my wife, that means war!

Is this a problem everywhere or do I just work for a sh#thole?!?

[Stan Switek]

Do we work for the same department?

[Runnin' 87]

Dude I have no idea. I hate it, but it is the world we live in.

Maybe it has something to do with an underlying need to control? Maybe we take out on each other what we can't dish out on the street?

I really don't know why we are so cruel to each other though.

[Bodie]

You would have the same bs in a factory, school or even a library.

[haus409]

I agree Bodie. It happens EVERYWHERE. I had this discussion with my ex-wife before we split. She would not keep a job because of all the "drama" that took place at work. She wouldn't believe me when I told her that it would be the same anywhere she were to work. So what'd she do? Quit school, quit work, and sat at her nice home which SHE wanted and demanded to go out to nice places like SHE wanted and ....oh, wait.

Yeah, man, it sucks. Be straight up with the guys and tell them to leave your wife out of it. Remind them that whatever happened is in the past, and is over now. They probably still won't believe that she didn't mess around with other Officers, just for the mere entertainment of the conversation, but maybe it'll slow to a tolerable level.

[Frank Booth]

........................

[Groundhog]

I've always said soap operas ain't got nothing on the PD when it comes to drama & gossip. Mine has always had more than it's share. I think some people start rumors just for fun to see how long it takes to come full circle & how much the story mutates while doing so. We've even got a Yahoo group to facilitate it.

[Stan Switek]

Dude I have no idea.

Dude, it was a joke.

[horne80]

Probably the only thing I learned from Highschool, still rings true today..

If you fuel their fire, it will burn out quicker.. and in that I mean, just be like "Yeah, she slept with so and so too " - just overembellish, and most of all laugh with them.

Once they see it not only doesn't bother you but makes you laugh, they will no longer bug you about it.

People only pick on the weak. Don't be weak

[sgttac]

Approach and respond like this,

[NARC999]

Probably the only thing I learned from Highschool, still rings true today..

If you fuel their fire, it will burn out quicker.. and in that I mean, just be like "Yeah, she slept with so and so too " - just overembellish, and most of all laugh with them.

Once they see it not only doesn't bother you but makes you laugh, they will no longer bug you about it.

People only pick on the weak. Don't be weak

This is the only real answer. Don't respond and eventually it will go away. Fan the fire and it only gets worse.

[stalker3]

I am a relative rookie...two years on the street...but in law enforcement for six total years (worked as a dispatcher for the rest of the time). My department has usually been frought with rumors...people feed off them. Recently I have discovered that people have started rumors about my wife messing around with officers in the department several years back. She and I were going through a difficult time and were only dating at the time. By the way, I do know who she was messing with and it was not an officer. I could understand starting rumors about me but when they start going after the character of my wife, that means war!

Is this a problem everywhere or do I just work for a sh#thole?!?

So what you're saying is that after your two years in law enforcement you finally realized that your department is just like any other department?

[gotthblues]

FORMER LEO it may sound petty, but it was in our dept policy that gossip was not tolerated, so if a greivance was filed, then disciplinary actions were taken,,it is petty but as ive been reading, it s a problem, some of it is bad,,this would stop it..it would suck to be suspended for two days without pay, for talking crap about someone.

[72na55]

Eating the Young

Why do cops "eat their young?"

1) Cuz they are young
2) Cuz they can
3) Cuz you allow it
4) Cuz it makes you tough
5) What don't kill you only makes you stronger.........
6) forgot one...cuz they did it to us

If you love your lady and she loves you, who gives a rat's bohunkus what rumors flow about her. Unless you were a virgin when you met her then you cannot expect her to be pure as the driven snow. In my opinion and experience, men who have to pull it out to prove they can keep their woman or protect their woman's reputation have a problem with self esteem. In contrast to what one poster said, I've had both. Married to a slob that wouldn't take care of herself or try to look worth a crap. 22 years later I let her go graze and now have the hard body hottie. I trust her 100 times more than my ex and have never had a single thought about her cheating. My advice is put you efforts and concentration on keeping your lady happy and let the rumors be just that. Your showing it bothers you only fans the flames. Good luck.

[British Five0]

Probably the only thing I learned from Highschool, still rings true today..

If you fuel their fire, it will burn out quicker.. and in that I mean, just be like "Yeah, she slept with so and so too " - just overembellish, and most of all laugh with them.

Once they see it not only doesn't bother you but makes you laugh, they will no longer bug you about it.

People only pick on the weak. Don't be weak

this is true to a point. I had some particularly nasty rumors spread about me a few years back and if I had followed this rule I would have been in it up to my neck. Once in a while you gotta fight back and stand your ground. However, don't cry about it, fight fire with fire. Do a little recon and hit em back where it hurts cause everyone has a bone or two resembling a skeleton in their closet. side's, whats your wife's cell number, she sounds like fun...