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Please Help: Practical Joke War has been declared...

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  • #31
    Originally posted by KapsFB
    Good God you people are deviant. WTG.

    How about wiring the horn to go off whenever the brakes are applied. That ought to drive someone crazy real soon.
    It works better if you wire it to the windshield washer pump, not the horn. You take the little black hose and route it into the firewall, then tape it to the bottom of the steering column. Everytime he brakes, it squirts him in the 'nads.

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    • #32
      Somebody rigged the sprayer on our hose to stay open and aimed it at the faucet. One of our crotchety old timers went to turn on the hose to wash his truck and got soaked. Priceless.
      The only thing we have to fear is change itself.

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      • #33
        Here are a few that I've 'heard about':

        For a partner that likes fall asleep while you do all the driving (Part I)
        Wait until partner nods off. Find a railyard. Conspire with the engineer of a locomotive engine. Pull sqad car across tracks in front of engine. If it's not already attached, secure his seatbelt. On your signal, have engineer blow train whistle. Scream "OHMYGOD!!!" then bail out. Stand back and watch partner awake, realize he's about to die, and attempt to bail. Best to have a video camera running...

        For a partner that likes to fall asleep while you do all the driving (Part II)
        Wait until partner nods off. Park squad car so that partner's door is overhanging waterway. Step to rear of vehicle. Scream "DROP THE GUN!!!" then light off a string of firecrackers. If you're nice, you'll have a towel and a dry uniform for your partner.

        Office hijinks
        Wait for victim to leave computer unattended. Open web page for North American Man-Boy Love Association and leave it onscreen. Do this a few days in a row. Then drop false memo in everyone's mailboxes saying the department's just conducted an audit of web traffic and found some "disturbing and possibly illegal activities that could result in suspension or even termination". Hilarity ensues.
        Caution and worry never accomplished anything.

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        • #34
          An Oldie But A Goodie

          When your partners computer is left on at work, send an e-mail to the boss from your partner indicating that he is not happy with the way the department is heading and therefor he is giving his 2 weeks notice. Make sure to let the boss in on the joke. Have the boss call him in to confirm the e-mail.

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          • #35
            Originally posted by sha4433
            The one about the computer homepages and screensavers has been done to death at my place...it is so bad guys will be out on the street and have to come back in to check that they haven't left themselves logged on, because of the stuff that gets put on their computers. It's almost like the OCD sufferer that has to come back to check that they've locked their door 5 times a day.
            Yeah its been done to death here too with the same OCD result. On the up side we probably have the best computer security in my office out of the whole agency. So if you think about it, it was actually a public service .
            The only thing we have to fear is change itself.

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            • #36
              This works great, did it to another officer and drove him nuts! (After he got me). Get as many packing peanuts as you can find. A minimum of a trashbag full. Then, fill the trunk of the cruiser. Every open space, put packing peanuts. Include the gas cap, inside the vents, under the seats, in the glove box. If you have a lightbar with regular screws, throw a few inside the alley lights and takedowns as well. Stick them behind the license plate. If you can unscrew the taillights and side marker lamps, alls the better. Don't neglect sticking them on the radio antennas, and side view mirrors. It will take forever to get rid of them all. Then, stick them inside the miscreants locker (the vents on lockers work great for this). You can keep this game up for weeks.....and eventually, start calling your "mark" by his first name, followed by "....the peanut man". As in, "Johnny the Peanut man", etc.

              Have fun!!!
              Best Regards,
              Zebra 305
              "Shots fired, shots fired..get me some goddam cars up here now!"
              Typical Henry Sector PG County radio traffic, circa 1996.

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              • #37
                We can unbolt our lockers from the floor. I have seen them on the roof of the pd. The best was the traveling locker. We took one locker and one digital camera. We took the locker to all of out local Sh*& holes. We had prostitutes, and crack heads posing with his locker. Then we would just e-mail him the pics.

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                • #38
                  Some of the one's I've used in the past have already been posted...But, I still have a few.

                  Put on a thick rubber glove. Stray a small amount of O.C. Pepper Spray on the tips of the gloved fingers. Get into your "victims" car and you can lightly rub the O.C. on the gear shift, the radio knobs, the steering wheel. If ya'll have to wear your patrol hat everytime you exit the car or when you are on a traffic stop rub the O.C. on the inside rim of the hat. Now, you don't want to put alot of O.C. within the car because the "victim" will be able to smell it. To off set the smelly car start playing with your O.C. around them and the car prior to him getting in it. Sure, he'll figure out it's you, but the victim is likely to overlook the O.C. in his hat and that is the one that will effect them the most anyway.... Hot summer day + O.C. inside hat= a Hot head! Inmore than one way
                  War is'nt about who's right, it's about who's left.

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                  • #39
                    A bloke on our shift had his own personal coffee mug with his favourite football team on it.(He seemed to spend most time at the station drinking from it) Upon his party for leaving and transferring to another District he was presented with various anonymous photographs taken of our local drunks/crooks in the cells all drinking out of his coffee mug and giving a big thumbs up for the camera.

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                    • #40
                      i have been a combatant in several joke wars. mostly at my old dept which was less politically correct then where i work now. here are the ones i remember 1) for detectives or anyone driving a desk, soak the entire seat cushion with water. if you just put a little bit it will show. if you soak the entire seat it is one, uniform color. your target will have no idea until after he sits down. 2) also for desk jockies, buy party popper(those little round things that you pull the string and it pops and shoots out streamers) use fishing line and rig the poppers to your targets chair, phone, desk drawers etc. anything your target moves in his office. target goes to pull his chair out to sit down and POP. 3) fill your targets veh with shredded paper from the shredder room. 4) fill vents with baby powder, oc, glitter etc 5) put stray cats and dogs in veh 6)put vaseline, lotion, oc etc under veh door handle 7)fill out mag subscriptions for your target home address 8)put broken veh glass outside of patrol veh and roll window down 9)fingerprint powder on phone or steering wheel 10)we had a cop deathly afraid of snakes. we got a rubber snake, placed it on driver floorboard, went in through passenger side door and tied fishing line from snake to drivers door. target opened door and snake jumped at him. he dumped three rounds into his floorboard. we got in trouble for that one but lt still liked it. 11)with our old mdc system we could format a message to look like a call for service. we would send rookies to some heinous call ie a rape with multiple victims and suspects, or to a mountain top to help a local weather man look for tornadoes12) while on a call with your target and in the presence of some citizen ask your target how his hemmorhoid surgery went and you are surprised he is back to work so quickly. you can also do this while eating lunch when the pretty young waitress is at your table. 13)last but not least is my ongoing favorite. nut jokes. i use dozens of them on everybody. i probably forgot some but this should hold you over. to the victor goes the spoils.
                      "Sic Vic Pacum Para Bellum"= If you want peace, prepare for war

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                      • #41
                        Use baby powder in the vents.... just make sure it's the end of the shift......the smell lasts for weeks ..............

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                        • #42
                          I've been known to be sleezy (thus my nickname) so when I found myself caught up in a pratical joke war I did the following:

                          I posted on of my partners buisness cards on a bulletin board in a nightclub and wrote (One of Ours) on the card. Well it was a gay bar I put it in.

                          I've take out "alternative adds" for my enemies in the local alternative papers.

                          Glitter in the Air Vents works well on the hot sticky days. Makes your enemy look "special", it's really hard to get off when your sweaty.

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                          • #43
                            Originally posted by Delta784
                            Buy a bicycle tire inner-tube. Cut off two pieces about 2 feet long each, then stretch them over the exhaust pipes of your target's cruiser. There should be about a foot dangling off each end.

                            When your target starts his cruiser and drives away, the escaping exhaust will make the rubber tubing sound like giant whoopie cushions. Everyone will wonder who is driving the farting cruiser. This works especially well in the summer/winter, when the windows are rolled-up and the A/C or heat is cranked, so they don't hear it themselves.
                            haha. That made me laugh. I've never heard that one before.

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                            • #44
                              I don't know if you guys do this in the States, but here in Canada, when a criminal dies, we take a thumbprint or fingerprint to compare to criminal records. Needless to say, this is not a popular duty. We decided to set up a practical joke on two newbies...

                              We had one of our guys stretch out on table in the morgue, covered with the cliche white sheet. Of course, the room was darkened except directly over the "corpse" and a video camera on tripod in the corner.

                              The two newbies walked in, quietly chatting. One said to the other "I think the guy just moved!" and the other said "Naw, it's just the sheet." As soon as the first guy touched our "corpse's" hand, the corpse reanimated and screamed.

                              It's hard to say who moved more quickly... the corpse or the newbies... The corpse started laughing... the newbies started cussing. Mission accomplished!

                              -Mac

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                              • #45
                                Originally posted by wmac
                                I don't know if you guys do this in the States, but here in Canada, when a criminal dies, we take a thumbprint or fingerprint to compare to criminal records. Needless to say, this is not a popular duty. We decided to set up a practical joke on two newbies...

                                We had one of our guys stretch out on table in the morgue, covered with the cliche white sheet. Of course, the room was darkened except directly over the "corpse" and a video camera on tripod in the corner.

                                The two newbies walked in, quietly chatting. One said to the other "I think the guy just moved!" and the other said "Naw, it's just the sheet." As soon as the first guy touched our "corpse's" hand, the corpse reanimated and screamed.

                                It's hard to say who moved more quickly... the corpse or the newbies... The corpse started laughing... the newbies started cussing. Mission accomplished!

                                -Mac
                                Very, very nice.
                                The only thing we have to fear is change itself.

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