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Best Thing You Ever Heard on Primary Radio Frequency:

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  • #61
    I've had several....unfortunately, the ole bump and scratch is non existent since our dept has EVERY channel available to us (including those used by parks, streets, even other LE agencies) recorded. That said, I remember a few good ones:

    Call comes out for a shooting just occurred, the first officer on scene is a new Sgt.
    Officer - "(Sgt), I'm almost on scene, where do you need me?"
    Sgt - "Hold on, I'm still trying to figure out what the F*** is going on!"
    Officer - "I'll be on scene to assist with the cluster....err.......call.........in 20 secs."

    Dispatch - "(Patrol officer), be in route to a roll-over accident. Reporting party is advising that someone had been ejaculated from the vehicle."
    Patrol officer - ".....10-4.....in route to the ejaculate."

    Dispatch - "(Patrol officer), be in route to assist the fire dept with a structure fire at (location)."
    Patrol officer - "10-4, I'm almost out, what is the exact location again?"
    Dispatch - "It's the burning house with flames coming out of it. It's hard to miss."
    Patrol officer - ".......Yup, I found it. It's hard to miss."

    Dispatch - "(Patrol officer), be in route to a report of a man beating on a........donkey..... at (location)."
    Patrol officer -"10-4, 76."
    Patrol Officer (a few minutes later) - "On scene for the *** beating."
    Dispatch - ".......10...........4..........."
    (several minutes pass)
    Patrol officer - "Dispatch, I'll be 10-8. This was a justified *** beating. No report filed."

    Dispatch - "(Patrol officers), be in route to (location) for a naked male subject that is beating on parked cars with a 2x4."
    Patrol officer - "10-4, I'll be 76. What is the description of the suspect?"
    Dispatch - "He'll be the one without any clothing on."
    Patrol officer - "..........10........4..........."

    Comment


    • #62
      One Halloween night.

      Car 2 sheriff's office.

      Two, go ahead.

      Car 2 to sheriff's office, can you send a PD unit to assist I have spotted those juveniles you had the report of throwing SPLAT, THUMP, WHACK, SPLAT, SPLAT, ....................eggs.

      ~Pause~

      Car 2 sheriff's office.

      (Suppressing laughter) Two, go ahead.

      Got any quarters?
      Pete Malloy, "The only thing black and white about this job is the car."

      Comment


      • #63
        On the rural fire frequency I once heard two volunteer fireman state the following:

        (Insert call number A) to (insert call number B).
        B: Yeah go ahead. I gotcha.
        A: Hey, I'm up here camping at Moro Bay. How's (insert call number C) doing?
        B: Well, they cut his "prostrates" out, but he's doing ok. He's fine. He's getting along good now. He's in...I can't remember his room number, but he's still in the hospital.
        A: That's 10-4. Good to hear. We was just thinking about him and wondered.
        B: Yeah, 10-4. Well, y'all have fun and getcha some catfish.
        A: 10-4. We'll have us a cook out when we get back home and get 'em skinned.
        B: 10-4.

        When I worked for a sheriff's office, I heard a deputy say, over the radio to presumably someone he was talking to on a cell phone, "The sheriff is a G... d.... a... hole. F... that fat sumbeech."

        Comment


        • #64
          Best thing I've heard over the radio was:
          27-4: Assault/ Battery
          43/55: Rescue/Ambulance
          20: Location
          Deputy: XXXSO: Can you start 43/55 to my 20; we have a lady who has had her bottom area 27-4’d.

          Comment


          • #65
            Dispatch: unit123 start for *location* for a female with a squirrel on her chest.

            Unit123: radio can you repeat ?

            Dispatch: Im sorry, she has a squirrel on her bedroom dresser.
            "Its not what you know, its what you can prove."-Training Day

            "Game on, bitches. Whoop whoop, flash the lights, pull it over."

            Comment


            • #66
              Central advises unit of a call for a vicious racoon, followed by multiple units asking central, "description of the perp?", "direction of flight?", etc. etc. On another occasion, 4X charlie having already advised central of his location: "can i get an additional unit to my location?" Central:"what is your location charlie?" 4X Charlie:"Come on central put your helmet on and get in the game."

              Comment


              • #67
                Our department is notorious for having a horrible dispatch and it's daily that we hear stupid stuff over the radio.... but most recently they gave a missing person report run to a unit and dispatched it as a "Larceny of Person".
                "Ability can take you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there"
                -Bottom of a White Castle Cheesebuger Box-

                If it walks like a duck, sounds like a duck, and looks like a duck.....it's probably a duck!


                It is what it is!

                Comment


                • #68
                  Last night about 2am:
                  Dispatch: 9602 I need you to respond to nb hwy 287 and approx CR K for a vehicle driving the wrong way on the highway.
                  Me: be advised XX...It's not one car...it's all of them!
                  Me: after long pause....10-4 Ill be en route

                  Im glad to work in a place where people could find humor with comments like that...
                  Last edited by Maverick1701; 12-10-2012, 03:02 PM.
                  Chris

                  XBOX Live: Citizen GaKar


                  http://i36.tinypic.com/1zoxgtc.gif

                  Comment


                  • #69
                    I have hundreds, but I'll share three:

                    Central 1146, 10-60 (suspicious) person at 3rd and Church St. Complainant stated that the person is dressed like a Ninja.
                    1146 Central... ... 10-4
                    Long pause
                    1143 (me) to 1146, you need a check in to deal with that ninja
                    1146 to 1143, negative, I'm a Samurai. I'm trained to take on Ninjas


                    Another one from our sister city (who's radio freq. we monitor) last halloween

                    312 Central, 10-61 (traffic stop)
                    Central 312, go ahead with it.
                    312 central, be advised I'll be 10-61 with a tree at 301 South at the city limits.
                    Central 312, confirming that you are 10-61 with a tree?
                    312 central, 10-4, no 28 (license plate) displayed on a tree.
                    Central 312,... ... 10-4, advise if you need a check-in.

                    The girl driving the "tree" was drunk. They did spend a lot of time decorating the car though. Too bad they blocked ALL of the windows except the windshield.

                    I got an animal complaint one time about a raccoon in a trash can. Sure enough, there was a raccoon in the trash can. I beat on the trash can with my baton as I OC the raccoon. The raccoon runs far away.

                    1143 Central, be advised that the raccoon has been trespassed and given a stern verbal warning. 10-8
                    Last edited by 5whiskey; 12-10-2012, 12:31 PM.

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      Had one few days ago.

                      getting on the radio to call arrival on a Bank ATM alarm...

                      I key the mic and realize I missed my turn. I go ' XXX dispatch 10- AH ****TTTT'

                      lol....

                      then saw a dead possum few days later

                      XXX dispatch, signal 7 (everyone thinks i found a dead body)
                      XXX go ahead
                      dead possum infront of 78 XX Dr, notify public works to have it removed. 10-8

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        Originally posted by 5whiskey View Post
                        I have hundreds, but I'll share three:

                        Central 1146, 10-60 (suspicious) person at 3rd and Church St. Complainant stated that the person is dressed like a Ninja.
                        1146 Central... ... 10-4.
                        Long pause
                        1143 (me) to 1146, you need a check in to deal with that ninja
                        1146 to 1143, negative, I'm a Samurai. I'm trained to take on Ninjas


                        Another one from our sister city (who's radio freq. we monitor) last halloween

                        312 Central, 10-61 (traffic stop)
                        Central 312, go ahead with it.
                        312 central, be advised I'll be 10-61 with a tree at 301 South at the city limits.
                        Central 312, confirming that you are 10-61 with a tree?
                        312 central, 10-4, no 28 (license plate) displayed on a tree.
                        Central 312,... ... 10-4, advise if you need a check-in.

                        The girl driving the "tree" was drunk. They did spend a lot of time decorating the car though. Too bad they blocked ALL of the windows except the windshield.

                        I got an animal complaint one time about a raccoon in a trash can. Sure enough, there was a raccoon in the trash can. I beat on the trash can with my baton as I OC the raccoon. The raccoon runs far away.

                        1143 Central, be advised that the raccoon has been trespassed and given a stern verbal warning. 10-8
                        omg man, the ninja one... you made me spill my coke all over my shirt HAHAHAH. I can just re-play it in my head at my shift

                        Zone 2, 10-65 (copy) signal 13P (susp P)
                        1121 go head
                        anonymous call of a person dressed as a ninja at XX & XX
                        10-4, 10-51 (otw) advise if he has any ninja weapons
                        1121 - 1131, can you 10-51 for 10-94 (backup) for said ninja? Bring nunchucks

                        BWAHAHAHAHHAH
                        Last edited by 11B250; 12-15-2012, 12:51 PM.

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          New kid commuting home in marked cruiser near Boston after his first mid shift.

                          123: "123 to Station E, you got something going on eastbound near Exit 12? Everything's completely stopped."

                          Station E: "It's called traffic, son."
                          Whitechapel - Hate Creation

                          Comment


                          • #73
                            About 2 years ago: (county deputy)
                            XX county to unit 3

                            unit 3 go ahead

                            XX: 10-97, barking dogs

                            U3: 10-4, 10-17 (enroute)

                            U3: XX county, unable to locate barking dogs, however I do hear crickets chirping....... and frogs....... croaking. Ill be 10-8

                            Me about 6 months ago:
                            XX county to 5xx

                            5xx go ahead

                            XX county: SHP requests mutual aid to check on 10-97 donkey in roadway

                            5xx: 10-4, 10-17

                            (Find donkey in ditch happily eating grass. Hit the air horn and he takes off in the woods)

                            5xx to XX county, be advised donkey has left on hoof southbound into the woods, I'll be 10-8.
                            Last edited by FiVo3; 12-16-2012, 09:59 AM. Reason: spelling
                            Ask them, Tell them, Make them.

                            Comment


                            • #74
                              The chief of police for an agency I worked with was requested by dispatch to call in on the "land line" (this before the use of cellular phones). The chief replied that he was some distance from a phone and wanted to know what the call was about. The dispatcher replied that the chief's wife had called with a message and that he (the dispatcher) would provide details when the chief called him via telephone. The chief responded by telling the dispatcher to go ahead and give him the info, at which point he was advised to, "Bring home a loaf of bread, some milk, a dozen eggs, etc..."
                              "I'm not fluent in the language of violence, but I know enough to get around in places where it's spoken."

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                3rd Best: Public Service Unit : "We can't catch that unlock... we've got a party to go to."

                                2nd Best: From Dispatch, with mic keyed and not knowing it: "Yeah... Yeah... Yeah... and she was MARRIED?!?!"

                                And the Winner is: Female officer in the crapper, keyed up and pinching one off... painfully.

                                Comment

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