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Best Thing You Ever Heard on Primary Radio Frequency:

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  • #16
    One quiet Sunday morning a mike keys up on the "intercity" channel and the dispatcher is talking to her boyfriend about their sex life. This goes on for about 15 minutes as everyone else is talking about an open mike.

    Finally you can hear the phone ring and the dispatcher answers, "XYZ Police...... OH SHOOT!" and the mike goes dead.

    There was also a BOLO an a man armed with a "shxtgun."
    Ut humiliter opinor

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    • #17
      I am stopped at a ranch road waiting on my Chief Deputy to arrive (going to do a welfare check on an individual at a hunting camp). CD calls via radio and asks my location. I advise. He then asks what kind of vehicle he is looking for. my reply "a black expedition that says XYZ Sheriffs Office" parked on the north side of the highway"

      Dispatch sends out a call of a wreck on the highway (only one way to go on the highway as the city edge is co line). I arrive on scene. City cops decide to respond (small county so all help is gladly accepted). City cop asks the location of the wreck. me "drive south on the highway until you see pretty flashing lights and car with its wheels up in the ditch and on fire"
      Chris

      XBOX Live: Citizen GaKar


      http://i36.tinypic.com/1zoxgtc.gif

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      • #18
        Today had a good one. Armed robbery in progress call comes out, and then gets updated to say that suspect just fled the scene on foot. Units start setting up a perimeter, and I hear the following:
        Deputy - "Sarge, where do you want me?" Sergeant - "Just find a hole and fill it."

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        • #19
          Trucker calls 911 for semi taking up two spaces at a truck stop. Dispatcher tells him nothing can be done about it. Trucker wants to talk to an officer, so the dispatcher sends a deputy after explaining to him what was said on the phone.

          Deputy's response: Long sigh, "Yeah most people don't like being told what to do by a woman. I'll be en route."

          *Cue radio silence and everybody in the area frantically digging for their cell phones.*

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          • #20
            Originally posted by zhakkar View Post
            Trucker calls 911 for semi taking up two spaces at a truck stop. Dispatcher tells him nothing can be done about it. Trucker wants to talk to an officer, so the dispatcher sends a deputy after explaining to him what was said on the phone.

            Deputy's response: Long sigh, "Yeah most people don't like being told what to do by a woman. I'll be en route."

            *Cue radio silence and everybody in the area frantically digging for their cell phones.*
            Linn or Johnson?
            Since some people need to be told by notes in crayon .......Don't PM me with without prior permission. If you can't discuss the situation in the open forum ----it must not be that important

            My new word for the day is FOCUS, when someone irritates you tell them to FOCUS

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            • #21
              Don't get me wrong, but "out of service" strikes me nicely.

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              • #22
                123 from Dispatch

                123 go ahead.

                Can you check on a disabled vehicle… location.

                I’m on it like a fat kid on a cheeseburger!
                Last edited by T295; 07-30-2012, 01:23 AM.
                'nil carborundum illegitimi'

                Any and all statements made solely represent my opinion and do not reflect an official opinion, belief, or policy of any department or agency to which I am employed. Furthermore, I am in no way authorized to speak on behalf of any department or agency.

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                • #23
                  Was driving around during a snow storm and found a plow stopped in the street shoveling salt back into the bed of the plow. Called out "I'll be standing by for a plow that blew their load on the street."
                  F.O.G. Holsters - The Last Holster You'll Ever Need

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                  • #24
                    During an ice/snow storm

                    Dispatch: there's a transformer blowing at XYZ location
                    Officer: do the Decepticons know?

                    I guess you had to be there...

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                    • #25
                      Unit stops at a local bar called the Hob Nob for a bar check...

                      84, code 6 at the knob job...
                      Retired LASD

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                      • #26
                        Where do I begin? I've got hundreds of them. Let's just say "our" radio protocol is slightly lacking. We are not always professional but it helps lighten up the mood.

                        I was in a district where officers of all nationalities worked and we were constantly picking on each others race, in a morale/camaraderie kind of way. The majority of the officers were Irish or Italian, and so I begin....

                        Beat 933: ---- "Squad! (what we call our dispatch) Emergency!"

                        Dispatch: ---- "All units stand by, 933 go with your emergency you have the air"

                        Bt. 933 : ---- "I got one running from my job (what we call our assignments.
                        It was only a theft call and the Ofc. was an old timer
                        Irishman.) east bound on 51st from Ashland."

                        "He's a light skinned male black or possibly an Italian!"

                        For the next ten minutes the "air" was filled with insults and laughter.
                        Last edited by 143a; 07-30-2012, 03:27 PM. Reason: my spelling sucks
                        Hey man, how much the 25cent bag of Flamin' Hots cost?

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                        • #27
                          Respond to the vehicle roll over, driver was ejaculated.
                          Today's Quote:

                          "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
                          Albert Einstein

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                          • #28
                            It was a pretty quiet evening when I heard this over the air:
                            "Oooooh, f**k me harder. Stick your tongue in my a**." Then silence.

                            Turns out, someone had figured out how to hack into the new 800 mHz narrow band radio system.

                            http://host.madison.com/daily-cardin...9f40a2278.html
                            "I assume you all have guns and crack."

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                            • #29
                              A co-worker of mine and myself had just wrapped up a call and we're just shooting the breeze outside in the street afterward for a few minutes... This guy likes to play "jokes" and tries to take my Taser out of my holster and away from me. He's a BIG dude and keys his radio up a lot unintentionally... So while he's trying the take away my Taser, he's keyed up over the air and you can hear me yelling... "LET IT GO A******, OR I'M GONNA PULL THE TRIGGER! I'M GONNA PULL IT! I'M GONNA PULL IT!"

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                              • #30
                                The favorite around here is: Central, show me cumming on Eddie's (sector E...or insert your favorite letter) back

                                Too many shenanigans to list.

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