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25 Signs Your a Cop

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  • 25 Signs Your a Cop

    1.) You have the bladder capacity of five people combined.

    2.) You have restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.

    3.) You believe that 50 percent of people are a waste of good air.

    4.) Your idea of a good time is a “man with a gun” call.

    5.) You conduct a criminal record check on anyone who seems friendly towards you.

    6.) You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac and birth control pills.

    7.) You disbelieve 90 percent of what you hear and 75 percent of what you see.

    8.) You have your weekends off planned for a year.

    9.) You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.

    10.) You refer to your favorite restaurant by the intersection at which it’s located.

    11.) You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled: “Suicide: Getting it right the first time.”

    12.) You ever had to put the phone on hold before you begin laughing uncontrollably.

    13.) You think caffeine should be available in IV form.

    14.) You know anyone who says, “I only had two beers” is going to blow at least a .15

    15.) You find out a lot about paranoia just by following people around.

    16.) Anyone has ever said to you, “There are people killing other people out there and you are here messing with me.”

    17.) People flag you down on the street and ask you directions to strange places...and you know where it’s located.

    18.) You can discuss where you are going to eat with your partner while standing over a dead body.

    19.) You are the only person introduced at social gatherings by profession.

    20.) You walk into places and people think it’s high comedy to grab their buddy and shout, “They’ve come to get you, Bill.”

    21.) You do not see daylight from November until May.

    22.) People shout, “I didn’t do it!” when you walk into a room and think they’re being hugely funny and original.

    23.) A week’s worth of laundry consists of five T-shirts, five pairs of socks, and five pairs of underwear.

    24.) You’ve ever referred to Tuesday as “my weekend.”

    25.) You’ve ever written off guns and ammunition as a business deduction.


    I borrowed this from P1. They hit the nail on the head. I'm going to add one of my own:

    26.) You've ever had to hear a story about how the cop didn't know what he was doing and then explain that it was their mouth that put them in jail.

  • #2
    27. You only believe half of what you see and none of what you hear..

    Comment


    • #3
      #5 is absolutely correct.

      Originally posted by trinic View Post
      1.) You have the bladder capacity of five people combined.

      2.) You have restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.

      3.) You believe that 50 percent of people are a waste of good air.

      4.) Your idea of a good time is a “man with a gun” call.

      5.) You conduct a criminal record check on anyone who seems friendly towards you.

      6.) You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac and birth control pills.

      7.) You disbelieve 90 percent of what you hear and 75 percent of what you see.

      8.) You have your weekends off planned for a year.

      9.) You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.

      10.) You refer to your favorite restaurant by the intersection at which it’s located.

      11.) You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled: “Suicide: Getting it right the first time.”

      12.) You ever had to put the phone on hold before you begin laughing uncontrollably.

      13.) You think caffeine should be available in IV form.

      14.) You know anyone who says, “I only had two beers” is going to blow at least a .15

      15.) You find out a lot about paranoia just by following people around.

      16.) Anyone has ever said to you, “There are people killing other people out there and you are here messing with me.”

      17.) People flag you down on the street and ask you directions to strange places...and you know where it’s located.

      18.) You can discuss where you are going to eat with your partner while standing over a dead body.

      19.) You are the only person introduced at social gatherings by profession.

      20.) You walk into places and people think it’s high comedy to grab their buddy and shout, “They’ve come to get you, Bill.”

      21.) You do not see daylight from November until May.

      22.) People shout, “I didn’t do it!” when you walk into a room and think they’re being hugely funny and original.

      23.) A week’s worth of laundry consists of five T-shirts, five pairs of socks, and five pairs of underwear.

      24.) You’ve ever referred to Tuesday as “my weekend.”

      25.) You’ve ever written off guns and ammunition as a business deduction.


      I borrowed this from P1. They hit the nail on the head. I'm going to add one of my own:

      26.) You've ever had to hear a story about how the cop didn't know what he was doing and then explain that it was their mouth that put them in jail.

      Comment


      • #4
        #28: You wash your hands *before* going to the bathroom.

        Comment


        • #5
          29: In your POV you accidentally turn on your windshield wipers trying to put your personal car in reverse.

          Comment


          • #6
            You misspell "you're" in the title of your post.
            MAC

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by mac266 View Post
              You misspell "you're" in the title of your post.
              Dangit!!!! you beat me to it! COPs do it ALL THE TIME in their (yes, "their".... not "there") reports.

              Comment


              • #8
                30) If you get pulled over off-duty in your POV, you cant your vehicle accidently out of habit

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Chomp View Post
                  #28: You wash your hands *before* going to the bathroom.
                  That's the damn truth!
                  sigpic

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    You have an ego larger than Lake Superior.
                    Retired

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      11.) You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled: “Suicide: Getting it right the first time.”
                      OMG yes.



                      23.) A week’s worth of laundry consists of five T-shirts, five pairs of socks, and five pairs of underwear.
                      If that!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        you refer to a particular street as a hundred block.....for example, "I was in the twenty three hundred block of south Cicero Avenue.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          31. You've ever had to explain to your kids that they have to keep their seatbelts on until the car stops even though dad took his off a block before the driveway.
                          32. You write your kids ages as "13 yoa" even in Christmas cards.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            33. When you write or endorse a check, you accidentally write your badge number next to your signature

                            34. You've realized that the general population believes that turning their car's hazard lights on exempts them from any and all parking laws

                            35. You said "Is that your real cousin or play cousin?" to someone
                            The only time you can have too much ammunition is when you're swimming or on fire

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              While arguing, your wife or girlfriend has said "don't talk to me like I'm a criminal."

                              Comment

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