Hands down, most dumb drunk I've ever witnesses

[LawFowl]

Me and another officer are chilling in the front parking lot of an Exxon, leaning on my buddy's unit sipping a cold water shooting the sheet.

A junk car pulls up one parking spot over from us with a March 2010 MVi sticker. Well this guy gets out (wearing a Houston Fire Dept. sweater) and proceeds to stumble to the front door of the Exxon. The sign on the door said they were closed for ten minutes due to whatever. So he reads it and stumbles back to the car. I look at my buddy and with that odd look, "this can't be happening." I walk up to him and say, "Hey man, you been drinking?" He replies, "Yea, just let me make it home man." I then asked him if he was drunk and he quickly replies with a "Yeah."

He refuses HGN because his "friend is a lawyer and told him not to do the HGN part" so we skipped that one. I get 6 out of 8 clues in the walk and turn (he didn't even try to turn) and I got 3 on the one leg stand. I asked him to say F through Q. He messed that all up with a "F T U V W X Y Z".

He begged me to let him find a way home, but he had 4 convictions (5 DWI arrests total) so off to the hospital we went for a mandatory blood draw.


This guy lived about ~1 mile from this gas station. We were in full uniform leaning against a clearly marked patrol unit with decals and a light bar. We weren't hiding. And he parks less than ten feet from us. I'm still in shock.

[CruiserClass]

At a certain point they've drowned so many brain cells that they just can't help themselves any longer. A fellow we locked up 3 times in a week all around the same intersection comes to mind. He's to the point he drinks Listerine and naps on the sidewalk.

[GrayPatriot]

I had the same thing happen to me. Pulled up right next to us in the parking lot of a gas station and staggered out of the vehicle. He made eye contact with us and stopped to look at the clearly marked CV and made that "Oh Sh$t" face...

[Retired96]

I was working the staion desk one evening, and the Sgt and I were standing on the front steps of our station having a cup of coffee.. We see this car travelling N/B coming towards the station, the car suddenly veers to the right jumps the curb and hits the tree on the parkway in front of the station...Ended up arresting the driver for DUI.. The only drunk driving arrest I ever made while working station Watch Deputy...

[vincelli]

It's always entertaining when we release someone on bail or an appearance ticket, and then pop the drunk that shows up at the station to pick them up.

-V

[SRT936]

One night, I was parked in a rest area in the middle of nowhere. I was sick as a dog and was just waiting for the shift to end so I could home and die. I see a truck go by on the highway traveling the wrong direction. Before I can even decide what to do, the truck slams on it brakes and sits in the middle of the lane for a minute. It then pulls onto the ramp (wrong way) and pulls up next to my squad car. The female driver gets out and literally falls on the ground. She picks herself up and staggers over to my squad where she starts slapping the window screaming "They stole my purse!"

I get out and start dealing with her. I ask her what she means and she says, as best as I could translate, that she had been at the bar all night and just discovered that someone stole her purse. She was now reporting it to me. I look over to her open truck door and can clearly see her purse sitting on the seat. She's now convinced that I stole her purse and hid it in her truck when she wasn't looking.

I hook her for OWI (3rd) and a whole host of traffic charges. Blood test comes back a .32.

[vfm208]

So, was he a firefighter or not?

[irish21]

-My agency gets a ATL/BOLO for a blue pickup in reference to a stolen coffee table.
-It's 3 A.M. there's only ONE vehicle on the road....guess who it is?
-Put on my overheads...Attempt to stop.........He keeps rolling at about 10 MPH.
-My Sgt. and partner join in the pursuit, overheads, sirens, spotlights, etc. all cruising town at a cool 10MPH.
-The guy finally stops 5 blocks away at his house, says he wanted to get his truck home before we arrested him. He's had two beers, but passes the SFST.
-We find out the table was his, and wasn't stolen.....If we would have STOPPED he wouldn't have been arrested. He was 100% legal until he decided to go cruising home and evading us.

Those two beers sure can affect ones judgment!

[mikeymedic]

Guy tried to pull up next to my patrol truck on night and ask for directions to a place that was 3 cities over. As he approached he pulled way too close to my vehicle and tried to open his door (dinging mine is the process). Now, I have a difficult time smelling ETOH for some reason (thanks to Kieth M. on here I no longer have that problem) but I could clearly smell it on him that night. I asked if he had been drinking, at this point he says "never mind I will find it my self" and tries to leave. Pull him over and fails all 3 of my SFST.

Barely had to move on this DUI.

[LawFowl]

So, was he a firefighter or not?

Said his whole family was.


On the way back from the hopsital he got a little more comfortable with me. He told me since he was wearing "the shield" he figured he'd be good to go and we'd cut him a break. I told him when it came to DWI I'd arrest the Governor. LOL

[txleo-3]

I walked out of a restaraunt one night and found a drunk guy taking a leak on my back tire. I was on duty in a marked unit of course. I asked him what he was doing and he said, "It's ok. I'm not peeing on the car"

[GIOSTORMUSNRET]

This happened while I was a Navy mp in Hawaii.
I was parked on the backside of a little league basball field cleaning the windows on my patrol vehicle. The hardwater build up was bad made it the clear outside blurry. Watched a truck come out from the Ewa Beach housing area, now leased to a private company and open to public for rent, pulls up next to where I'm parked. I'm in full uniform with a marked car. Guy rolls down the passenger side window and starts talking to me about having an arguement with his fiance and was looking for her. I could smell the order of an intoxicant on him as he spoke. I go around to the driver side, ask him to get out of the vehicle, when he gets out he has nothing on but a robe. I reach into the vehicle turn the engine off and take control of the keys, then let him back in the truck. When his girlfriend shows up I ask her to go back to his place, get him some clothes and his wallet. While waiting for the fiance to get back, he starts getting upset saying I was supposed to help him not try to arrest him. I radio into the station, which is across the street a little bit for a protable breathalyzer, watch commander comes out with the sfst sheet and tells me to do read the instructions and demonstrate and have him do it. After he gets his clothes on, I get him out and we go over the sfst, he fails them all, handcuff him and transport him to the station. He refuses the breathalyzer, refuses to sign his miranda warning. Hawaii is implied consent state, so I take his CDL and give him the temporary DL. I transfered to San Diego before it can go to trial, the US District Attorney's office calls me in San Diego, since I can't go back to Hawaii for the trial they plead him down to wet and reckless instead of DUI. Had I been there in Hawaii just the report and his refusal would have been a DUI conviction in Federal Magistrate court, at that time the magistrate was a major person against drunk driving and would have thrown the book at him.

[The State]

nice job, you gotta love when they fall into your lap like that one

[Smurfette_76]

leaning on my buddy's unit

Hehehehehe...I'm so juvenile.

Sorry, nothing further to contribute.

[mikeymedic]

Hehehehehe...I'm so juvenile.

Sorry, nothing further to contribute.

Atleast he wasn't sitting on his buddy's unit!