Frustrated...

[amw315]

Last night I write a Domestic Assault 2nd case for some gal...suspect was not on scene at first, but later came back and ran from me when he saw me....didn't find him that night....told the gal to call us if/when he comes back...

the two have a history of DV, documented with my and other departments...she was uncooperative with previous investigations after she filed the initial report....

today i'm patrolling the apartment complex where these people live and i see the suspect walking out of the door of the apartment complex.....hmmmm....

fast forward to me doing a suspicious vehicle stop in a parking lot nearby after i see him drive by in his gal's car....sure enough...he puts it in park, and takes off running.....he gets away from me, a helicopter, and a tracking dog....

he's wanted now for felony resisting arrest....but i know how things are going to pan out and it ****es me off....the victim in the DV case is not going to want to prosecute this guy so the PA is probably going to drop the DV case...which means that my felony resisting arrest case is probably going to be dropped as well....so this dirtbag with a history of assaulting officers and resisting arrest is going to be free to walk the streets....i'm trying to let this one go but now i'm taking it rather personal because not only did i try and convince my victim that this guy is going to end up killing her, but she let him back in the f'in apartment and didn't call 911....also he ran from me twice....

[jhkcop]

Get used to it, same old story. If you haven't already, you'll learn that they'll f up eventually, and you'll nail 'em on something else. It sounds bad, but you can't really get emotionally invested in any particular case. You won't last long if you do.

[oneoldcop]

you need to check on your dv laws in Mo., if you have a good case of him knocking her around, good pics, statements etc. you can file charges and list her as states witness. We do it all the time here...

[SirLancelot]

DV's are so frustrating for me. I had one a few months back where a big dude beat the crap out of his girlfriend, punched holes through walls, broke furniture, strangulated her and actually lifted her up off the ground by her neck while strangulating her with her feet hanging in the air for approx 5 seconds.... she stated at the scene she couldn't breathe and literally thought she was going to die.... Her 4 yr old son was sleeping in the room across the hall and her nephew was spending the night there too...

A K9 track found the guy hiding in some thick blackberry bushes across the driveway from the home and I got to take him to jail. Prior to doing so however, she was adamant she didn't want to press charges for what he did. She started downplaying the misdemeanor assault, the broken furniture, the holes through the walls, the felony assault (strangulation), etc., and didn't even want to write a statement. He had been drinking that night, that alone was a violation of his probation, and she thought he'd get in too much trouble just for that and didn't want to make his situation any worse.

I loved taking him to jail (mandatory arrest in WA even if uncooperative victim) but couldn't stop stewing over the fact that she was such a willing and enabling victim and that he'd undoubtedly be right back there once he was released from jail. She was a really attractive woman too. She deserved so much better than the pice of *#&$^ we found hunkered down in the blackberry bushes who beat the #$&@#* out of her.

[RoadKingTrooper]

Get used to it, same old story. If you haven't already, you'll learn that they'll f up eventually, and you'll nail 'em on something else. It sounds bad, but you can't really get emotionally invested in any particular case. You won't last long if you do.

From "A River Runs Through It" (Tom Skerrit)

".........sometimes those who need our help the most, we are able to help the least"

[amw315]

you need to check on your dv laws in Mo., if you have a good case of him knocking her around, good pics, statements etc. you can file charges and list her as states witness. We do it all the time here...

the PA's office in my county won't do a thing on cases where the victim does not want to prosecute....i'm very aware of what MO law is seeing as though I'm a police officer in the State of Missouri....

[Rod_Farva]

Here's my thoughts on domestics. Alot of them do get dismissed because the victim does not cooperate. I really don't care. I get to take the guy to jail, he pays a bunch in legal fees and hopefully gets some counseling. Like said earlier, you can't change people that don't want help. If the victim wants to get back with the abuser, there's not much we can do as law enforcement.

[PD Sergeant]

2 Ideas

First, most women secretly think that the DV is their fault and feel guilty about locking up the offender. (Don't ask me why, I don't do why) Try telling her that it is not her fault and that you can get the court to order her mate into counseling so that they can have a better marriage.

In other words reframe what she is doing to make her feel that she is getting him help and not making him lose his job etc. When court comes up try to get the prosecutor to echo your advise.

Second, and this is one is not from the classic play book, go by and check on them when they are not having a domestic. What did he just type? Let me read that again...

Yes, it is amazingly effective to go by about a week after court, without being called and ask how things are doing. If she answers the door juist ask her if she is being beat up again.

When she says no, remind her that you have several years before you retire. You will be around if it does happen again. If he answers the door ask him if he is beating up his wife again. When he says no, same reminder. The whole thing should take about 45 seconds.

You cannot negitiate or teach anyone that is in a state of emotional disaster. But when things are calm and quite they will listen. Even if they don't agree, they listen. When you make them feel watched, they change behavior.

I did not beleive this techinique worked at first. But I got tired of going to the same house over and over again. I tried it and while it is not perfect, it is effective at reducing calls.

Of course you could just keep doing the same thing and trying to get different results, but what are the chanes?

[amw315]

PD Sergeant,
Thanks for the response....always good to hear different strategies and in the future I will do this....seeing as though the guy is still wanted, I've been over to the residence a few times to see if he was home....even though the car is in the parking lot, no one answers the door....not even my victim....

Also, apologies to oneoldcop for my snippy response earlier in the thread....I was already frustrated to begin with and nothing angers me more than when I perceive people thinking that I don't know what I'm doing/what I'm talking about....it has happened more than a few times on this forum....

[sublimejhn]

you need to check on your dv laws in Mo., if you have a good case of him knocking her around, good pics, statements etc. you can file charges and list her as states witness. We do it all the time here...

Yeah the state will pic up charges on dv cases in AZ too, but if the victim doesn't want to testify they generally get dropped unless you have a REALLY good case and it was a pretty bad assault.

This week I went to a dv agg assault at the hospital where the lady's husband had beat her with a hammer and she ended up being hospitalized. She didn't even want to talk with me at first and doesn't want prosecution. But I have pics of the injuries where the hammer hit her so I am hoping the state DOES pic up charges for that. A simple assault though they just end up dropping it without a victim

[sublimejhn]

you need to check on your dv laws in Mo., if you have a good case of him knocking her around, good pics, statements etc. you can file charges and list her as states witness. We do it all the time here...

Yeah the state will pic up charges on dv cases in AZ too, but if the victim doesn't want to testify they generally get dropped unless you have a REALLY good case and it was a pretty bad assault.

This week I went to a dv agg assault at the hospital where the lady's husband had beat her with a hammer and she ended up being hospitalized. She didn't even want to talk with me at first and doesn't want prosecution. But I have pics of the injuries where the hammer hit her so I am hoping the state DOES pic up charges for that. A simple assault though they just end up dropping it without a victim

[mikeymedic]

I hate DV's. They usually happen the way that yours did, a little less extreme. Sometimes I wish I could take off the badge for 5 minutes with a free pass at the suspect.

[leesrt]

There's a lot of good information here.

When it comes to DV's I care the first time out until I arrest the aggressor. After that if I show up I stick to the facts and if there's a case I arrest and leave, thats it. I'm not going to check on them and see how they are doing because if it gets crazy one of them will call or the neighbor will call.

This sounds cold but your career will be short and your emotions will get shredded if you dive to deep into any one case.

Now if the victim truely needs and "wants" help and has a persistant aggressor I'm all in and will go to bat but once I see she's using me as a tool to control him when she's had enough I'm done.

I understand emotional abuse and how many times the woman tries to justify the mans actions but thats a job for a shrink. I'm not paid $100k a year and my sessions aren't booked by a receptionist.

The only time I get pulled in hard is when it's a child or juvenile involved.