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You know you patrol the suburbs when...

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  • You know you patrol the suburbs when...

    ... you get to a domestic and both parties already have their lawyers on the phone... and they want you to talk to them.

    ... residents think that "teens gathering" is a legitimate reason to call 911

    ... you've ever been asked to help get a squirrel out of a living room

    ... you can tell you're in the student lot at the local high school because the cars are nicer than those in the teacher's lot

    ... you've ever responded to a call of "minority in town"
    "The sheep generally do not like the sheepdog. He looks a lot like the wolf. He has fangs and the capacity for violence. The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, can not and will not ever harm the sheep." -Lt. Col. Dave Grossman

  • #2
    ...the suspicious vehicile is suspicious because it retails for under $32,000

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    • #3
      Little kids wave at you with all 5 fingers and don't point at you like a gun saying "Die Police!"

      Your not referred to as "Y'all white MF'ers."

      Your business district consists of stores other than beauty salons, beauty supplies, Liquor stores, and chicken joints.

      There are 7-11's and White Hen Pantry's instead of "Lucky 7" or "Ahmed's Pantry."

      You have whole blocks of OCCUPIED houses without plywood curtains..

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      • #4
        Originally posted by ChiTownDet View Post
        Little kids wave at you with all 5 fingers and don't point at you like a gun saying "Die Police!"

        Your not referred to as "Y'all white MF'ers."

        Your business district consists of stores other than beauty salons, beauty supplies, Liquor stores, and chicken joints.

        There are 7-11's and White Hen Pantry's instead of "Lucky 7" or "Ahmed's Pantry."

        You have whole blocks of OCCUPIED houses without plywood curtains..

        LOL. So true for urban areas. Here though the stores in question are "EZ-Marts." Hint hint. lol

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        • #5
          ...when you turn up for burglaries, look around the property and find that my entire house would've fitted in their living room. The cars on the driveway are more valuable than my entire lifes possesions added up, "Oh yes she has just popped out in the Bentley to pick Dad up from golf, she will be back soon".

          When you jump over the rear fence and nearly go into a swimming pool (another officer I know actually ended up in one)...they are just not expected in back gardens over here!

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          • #6
            You get a call of a suspicious person walking down the street... when asked what he is doing dispatch is informed that it is a black male walking down the street......and????
            "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good" Romans 12:21

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            • #7
              When you stop them for a traffic violation and issue them a ticket, they kindly tell you they will hand this over to Chief tonight at the benifit dinner, and want to clarify what your name is

              I have had a call of two 107's (suspicious persons) headed north on George Drive near Mary Ann. I respond, with what did the caller say they were doing. I got back, the caller did not say, she just stated that she observed two black males in the neighborhood on bicycles.
              I found the guys and it turned out to be two kids who were cutting through this area coming from the movies. They laughed and said they didn't think they would have gotten this far without me showing up

              You arrive for a burglary and the story they tell you about how they found the home burglarized actually sounds believable, and when they walk through their house they actually tell you all of their valuable stuff is there, that the burglars just took $100 that was sitting on the dresser. Also, you don't get a 10 page updated list of items stolen 4 days later after your report is already done and in the system.

              When you get excited about getting a call to a home, because you have long seen this H U G E enourmous house that you have always drove by and wondered what the inside looked like and now you get to get inside and when you get there you have to hold your, "HOOOLLYY F*&^" and act like you see this everyday.
              Ignored: Towncop, Pulicords, TacoMac, Ten08

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              • #8
                Originally posted by DaFuzz43 View Post
                You get a call of a suspicious person walking down the street... when asked what he is doing dispatch is informed that it is a black male walking down the street......and????
                Or he's wearing a hoodie. We call those "Felony hoodies."

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                • #9
                  The average police retiree lives 10 years longer than his ghetto department retiree counterpart....


                  Your business district consists of stores other than beauty salons, beauty supplies, Liquor stores, and chicken joints.
                  Friend of mine retired to Henderson, NV. He said when the first wig shop opened up in his area, he was outta there. He lasted about 10 years there before he had to move.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by On The View Post
                    The average police retiree lives 10 years longer than his ghetto department retiree counterpart....




                    Friend of mine retired to Henderson, NV. He said when the first wig shop opened up in his area, he was outta there. He lasted about 10 years there before he had to move.

                    Henderson is one step short of Mayberry....nice place to live....

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                    • #11
                      Maybe it was somewhere outside of Henderson then. I just remember him telling me the time had finally come to leave.....there was a wig shop on the corner.

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                      • #12
                        Heck, I wanted to retire out that way...

                        One of my guys pulls a traffic stop on a 16 year old reckless driver. I stop by to check on him, clear up. 5 minutes later, I get a message to respond to the station, where the irate dad is screaming about the officer being rude and insulting.....yea, right!

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                        • #13
                          When you issue a citation and the driver beats you back to city hall to talk to his neighbor.... The mayor...
                          "The unforgivable crime is soft hitting. Do not hit at all if it can be avoided; but never hit softly. -Teddy Roosevelt"

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                          • #14
                            When you are issued a ruler to measure grass height and expected to use it.
                            Every day is just the same, I'm chasing rainbows in the rain.

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                            • #15
                              when your patrol car is the oldest/most ragged out car in the neighborhood.

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