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  • Confess your stupids....

    Ok, confess your stupids...the stupid thing you did the others in the squad room won't let you live down.

    Here are mine:

    - On my last day of FTO I get my car stuck in the snow not once but TWICE in 10 minutes. The 2nd time took a front loader to get me out. 7 years later and I'm still hearing about that (and the pictures are still turning up).

    - As a rookie I was doing my first 'dynamic entry' and they handed me the battering ram with a smile I would have been suspicious of today. Smash...door in splinters...rest of the squad rushing in over my inert body laying in the mud next to the battering ram. Apparently I put too much umph into it.

    - Had a bear reach into the cab of the patrol truck and take a bite out of the steering wheel while I was in the drivers seat. Yes, there's even a picture of THAT floating around.

    So confess: what's yours?

  • #2
    Put my foot through an inner hollow core door that was locked during a search warrant, wasn't funny at the time (dope pad), but we laugh about it now.
    Today's Quote:

    "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
    Albert Einstein

    Comment


    • #3
      Well, I'm sure I can think of more "stupids," but the first three that come to mind are (A) one night I was chosen to go pick up a subject who had been arrested on our warrant about 75 miles away and bring him back to the city. When I arrived there I couldn't quite figure out how to pull into the bay near their booking area so when I left, to go back to my city, I sideswiped a poll leaving a long yellow streak down the side of my car and a nice dent in the rear fender of my Crown Vic. Nothing much was said of it. However, (B) the very next night while trying to find a way to drive around a very large puddle of water I ran off into a two foot deep sink hole. Fortunately, the hole was dry, but it bent a rim and shredded one of the new tires I had just gotten less than a week prior to the incident. To add a third stupid to this story (C) we got my rim fixed and had a new tire put on. Maybe three days later I was sitting at a WiFi hot spot on a flat, cement parking lot, and I heard an audible hiss. I then rolled down the window and looked around trying to find out what nearby building was hissing (blonde moment). I then got out to look around even further and realized that my tire was doing the hissing and that it had gone amost totally flat. To make matters worse the parking lot was in front of a fire department substation so who comes out to help the cop? Firemen! Ugh! The funny part of this story is that it took four cops and three firemen to change my flat. One fireman did the work while one cop provided a spare tire, another cop provided the jack, another cop provided the lug wrench, another cop (me) "supervised," another fireman provided everyone with latex gloves so we wouldn't get our hands dirty (kind of him right?), and the third fireman stood by providing us with much needed sarcasm and wisecracks. I thanked them when it was all said and done and apologized to the firemen for interrupting their nap. Oh, for whatever reason, the valve stem on my tire ruptured while I was sitting still. To this day I don't know why.

      Comment


      • #4
        Arrested a guy for dope and placed the baggie on the sunvisor. While driving the suspect to the station, I was on the freeway during rush hour traffic and rolled down the drivers window. At the same instant the visor flipped down and the suspects dope got sucked out the window only to get run over by a million cars.
        Was a little embarrasing telling the watch commander how I lost the evidence, but the suspect was kind enough to confirm that it blew out the window on the freeway.
        Retired LASD

        Comment


        • #5
          One Sunday morning I went out to our lake to investigate an assualt with a deadly weapon (80's Corvette) because no lake officers were on duty. Turns out the suspect is the RP and already at a body shop with the car in town. I meet with him, arrest him and am pulling onto the highway which leads into town. I get to about 45mph and hear a loud thunk. I look in the side mirror and see a cloud of papers to include my suspect and witness statements in the air behind me. After getting the suspects statement I had put my "Posse Box" on my lightbar so I could cuff him and well forgot it was there.

          I was "lucky" enough to have two Troopers pull behind immediately after I came to a stop so I was safe from traffic lol. I gathered the papers and got back in the car and mentioned to him "of all the times you've been hooked I bet that is a first" and he could only reply with a simple "yeah" over his laughter.

          Suprisingly the Posse Box held up like a champ against a 45mph impact with the asphalt so I still use it to this day... and each time I am reminded of that thunk and cloud of papers.
          sigpic

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          • #6
            *Sitting in a chair in the locker room infront of the lockers, i was feeling really lazy. So as I go to get off the chair i grab ahold of a lock to boost myself up. As i grab the locker and pull all my body weight on the lock, the whole set of lockers comes tumbling down on me. I wasnt hurt, but the fact that 5 of your co workers had to lift the lockers off you, is a tough pill to swallow.

            *Rolled up on a structure fire, first on scene, on a dirt road, one way in, one way out. Got my cruiser blocked in by 4 fire trucks for, 4 hours. Lots of foot patrol jokes after that.

            *Stopped a car for 32 over, started chewing the guy out, come to find out i was in left field, and he was on a stretch of the road that was 50 mph, and not 30. 10-8, no action.

            Comment


            • #7
              -Shortly after being released to my own devices from FTO, I was assigned to drive a frequent-offending juvenile to the county JDC. Had transported adults to county before, so I figured, hey, no sweat... Come to find out, JDC is nowhere NEAR the adult jail, and for some insane reason, the entrance looks EXACTLY like a loading dock to a warehouse. So, I drove in circles for about 30 minutes, trying to figure out where they were hiding the freaking JDC, and trying to call my former FTO via cellphone (of course, he was busy and couldn't answer). Finally, I stopped, looked in the mirror at a very smug 16 year old, and had to ask him for directions. Fortunately, he had to use the restroom BAD, and told me exactly how to get there.

              -A few months later, during a BAD ice storm, I was gingerly making my way to the PD after a call, and came across a suspicious vehicle stopped at a park. Decided to stop (hey, I was out in the ice already), and wound up arresting the occupant of the vehicle for a warrant. So, I have three blocks to the PD, no problem. Two ways to get there...a big hill, and a BIG hill. BIG hill seemed to be relatively clear, so up I started, much to the protest of the guy in the backseat ("dude, you are going to slide the f*** off this hill!"). My Rookieitis flared up - I'm the Police by God, you hippie(!), so up I went. Then, of course, I slid the f*** off the hill. Sideways. Into a yard. I got out of the yard, though - with the helpful guy in the backseat coaching me the whole way ("now, put it in reverse..ok, back, back..ok, now pull forward...")
              "Martyr" - just a fancy word for "crappy fighter"

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by jakflak View Post
                Ok, confess your stupids...the stupid thing you did the others in the squad room won't let you live down.
                I'd tell you but there's not enough bandwidth. Plus not all of the statutes of limitations have run out.
                "Why is common sense so rare?" - Me

                By the way.. They aren't "Clients" or "Customers" they're CRIMINALS... sheesh

                Comment


                • #9
                  Seven to eight years ago, attempting to demonstrate the one legged stand, I lost my balance and began to hop to regain my balance. Instead of putting my foot down, for some unknown reason, I continued to hop on one foot and then realized that I looked like a moron. The suspect stood there watching me, the Sgt who was with me, barely kept a straight face, and I, with as much authority as I could muster told the guy, "That's it, if I can't do this, I won't have you do it, you're taking a taxi home mister, you got money?!"
                  Moooooooooooo, I'm a goat

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I was doing foot patrol in Sydney's CBD main strip (George Street) on a Friday night, which means that the streets are packed with car loads of young men (predominately Middle Eastern), who cruise the strip and act silly.

                    I was walking with a group of co-workers, and was eyeing off a car of potential customers, who were in turn staring me back. I sorta failed to stop and have a look around me and walked straight into a light pole.

                    I swear the entire block blew up with laughter and people honking their horns...
                    < Insert witty saying here >

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Jakflak...if getting your car stuck in the snow is a stupid...then I deserve some kind of "stupid" trophy!

                      P.S....you have GOT to send me the pic of the bear and the steering wheel. I think I may have a new background for my desktop.....
                      MOLON LABE!

                      Ever Cook any fools?!?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by BeansBaxter View Post

                        P.S....you have GOT to send me the pic of the bear and the steering wheel. I think I may have a new background for my desktop.....
                        I don't know how to post pictures here but here is the link to them:



                        http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v4...202005/091205/

                        Comment


                        • #13


                          License, registration and.... Hey, is that jerky?

                          I woulda been ****in my pants about then LOL Great pic
                          "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group
                          for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar." --Drew Carey

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Tinga View Post


                            License, registration and.... Hey, is that jerky?

                            I woulda been ****in my pants about then LOL Great pic
                            ROFLMAO! G1

                            Many years ago I was working an overnight detail at a local high school. Some fair going on so we were watching the stuff....easy money. Anyway, I was bored and decided to drive around the football field. This is a private school so the field was/is pretty nice. Had a paved what I thought was a driveway going around it. I think it was the concession area meant only for foot traffic. I was able to get in but once in, couldn't get out. Don't ask! Hard to articulate. Basically, the configuration was such that there was no way to turn around and backing out was EXTREMELY difficult. I'm talking millimeters (maybe without the s) of clearance on either side. I thought I was stuck for sure. Took me about an hour and a half of REAL slow manuvering to get the car out in one piece. I'm real glad there was nobody else around at the time but was scared to death I was going to need to call for help.

                            To show you how long ago this was.....my cruiser was a Dodge K-Car!!!!
                            sigpic
                            Our houses are protected by the good Lord and a gun.
                            And you might meet 'em both if you show up here not welcome son.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by jakflak View Post
                              Ok, confess your stupids...the stupid thing you did the others in the squad room won't let you live down.

                              Here are mine:

                              - On my last day of FTO I get my car stuck in the snow not once but TWICE in 10 minutes. The 2nd time took a front loader to get me out. 7 years later and I'm still hearing about that (and the pictures are still turning up).

                              - As a rookie I was doing my first 'dynamic entry' and they handed me the battering ram with a smile I would have been suspicious of today. Smash...door in splinters...rest of the squad rushing in over my inert body laying in the mud next to the battering ram. Apparently I put too much umph into it.

                              - Had a bear reach into the cab of the patrol truck and take a bite out of the steering wheel while I was in the drivers seat. Yes, there's even a picture of THAT floating around.

                              So confess: what's yours?
                              Post the pic of the bear!

                              Comment

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