I obtained my Peace Officer License in May of 2010. I didn't start working in law enforcement as county jailer until almost over a year later. I stayed with the county jail as a deputy sheriff/jailer for 3 years. During that time i wasn't able to do much hands on police work. In January 2014 I finally was given the opportunity to join a police department as a patrolman. I was so excited because I was finally able to do what I went to the academy for. However going thru the field training program has been less than the dream I believed. I have been behind the 8 ball most of the time. Spending my days off trying to brush up on law updates, police procedures, locations, 10-codes, and daily patrol operations. On top of that dust off years of not using the skills and methods taught in my academy. I never knew how much of patrol work is multitasking. (which has been pointed out a concerning weakness). I am have been commended on my report writing, and dealings with the public. But I haven't been the complete package as of yet. And its not that I cant do it, or don't want to do it. But my progression I fear is leaving some doubt with my FTO and training sgt. I have been told that I fit in the department, and everyone likes me and are rooting for my continued growth. But I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. I mentioned to my FTO that I would be willing to step away and retake the complete academy to refresh myself and come back. Now I think that statement might have placed a nail in my coffin, as me possibly admitting that Im not ready to do the work. I love being on patrol, and love being a peace officer. I could never see myself doing anything else. But I feel that my hiatus in training has left me in limbo with the department. 




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