Just got kicked out of my house (parents against NYPD)

[Alexp]

Hey guys, this is more of a rant but also a question, did anybody get on bad terms with their parents due to wanting to join the NYPD?
I got a letter for my medical yesterday which my mom saw. I pretty much told her this is what I want to do and I am going to do it wether you like it or not. I currently work for the MTA and she doesn't want me to leave my job, saying I am ruining my life. She is very ignorant and uninformed though, saying only nobodys join the NYPD. Anyways to cut it short, she told me to get the hell out and forget about her if I am going to go against her will. Basically a lot other very nasty things. I am currently crashing at my friends place but going to get my own apartment in a few weeks. I am 23, I guess I should be happy it didn't happen sooner right?
Anyways did anybody here go through something similar? Did your parents get over it and accepted it in the end? I really don't know how to convince her to support my decision since she doesn't want to hear it at all.

Thanks for reading.

[NYPDsomeday]

Sorry to hear that. I'll be honest, my folks aren't thrilled about it either. As I'm a little older then you, what I can tell you is that you need to do what's best for you. There's tons of parents that wanted their child to be a doctor or lawyer, and they ended up being cops instead. Some parents will get over it, some won't. Currently, my father won't really talk to me about it, and my mother is also pretending like it's not going to happen (since I'm still just applying).

That said - need a roommate in Rockland!? lol

[SgtCHP]

Your mother is only commenting about what she thinks is best for you. She is not ignorant, she is concerned. Mothers are like that, yes, they are! Don't be too hard on her. Take up your new occupation and prove to her that there can be satisfaction and happiness as a LEO. Good luck!

By the way, send your mom some flowers with a thank you note. She gave you life and raised you to be the man you are today!

[Alexp]

Your mother is only commenting about what she thinks is best for you. She is not ignorant, she is concerned. Mothers are like that, yes, they are! Don't be too hard on her. Take up your new occupation and prove to her that there can be satisfaction and happiness as a LEO. Good luck!

By the way, send your mom some flowers with a thank you note. She gave you life and raised you to be the man you are today!

You know what? Thank you for writing that. I never looked at it from that perspective and it just made my mood much better. You are absolutely right. I'm not gonna hold a grudge against her and like I said I'm lucky I didn't get kicked out at 18.


Nypdsomeday I do need a roommate but I am trying to stay in brooklyn.
You know its funny you mentioned it, my mom told me from the beginning that she is against it and won't let me do it, but all this time was acting like it isn't going to happen. Only after seeing that letter she just blew up.

[NYPDsomeday]

SgtCHP - that's a great way to look at it.

Alex - if you want to come to the 'burbs, let me know!

[BigWill2876]

Would you prefer that she doesn't care about you ?

The ability to turn one's cheek first means you must unstiffen your neck.

Try to explain to her that somepeople require more than something just called a job.

[formerFAM]

Your mother is only commenting about what she thinks is best for you. She is not ignorant, she is concerned. Mothers are like that, yes, they are! Don't be too hard on her. Take up your new occupation and prove to her that there can be satisfaction and happiness as a LEO. Good luck!

By the way, send your mom some flowers with a thank you note. She gave you life and raised you to be the man you are today!

Thank his mom with flowers for kicking him out of the house and disowning him? That is a stretch.

[gbotj]

I dont know about the whole flower thing. That might send the wrong message.

Take your mom out to lunch and talk to her about it. Make her feel like she has a say in it, and your not dead set on the situation (even though you might be).

What it comes down to in the end, is that your mom still loves you, she's upset and will most likely get over it.

I find that extremely disrespectful that she would say only "nobodys" join NYPD. Over 1,000 "nobodys" died in the line of duty, so she could feel safe at night.

[Alexp]

I dont know about the whole flower thing. That might send the wrong message.

Take your mom out to lunch and talk to her about it. Make her feel like she has a say in it, and your not dead set on the situation (even though you might be).

What it comes down to in the end, is that your mom still loves you, she's upset and will most likely get over it.

I find that extremely disrespectful that she would say only "nobodys" join NYPD. Over 1,000 "nobodys" died in the line of duty, so she could feel safe at night.

I know exactly what you mean. As soon as I heard her say that, I was too disgusted to arguem I realized that there is no point in arguing with her because she is uninformed and has no idea what she is talking about. Trust me iv tried talking to her many times over the last year and she doesn't want to hear it at all. I feel like there is nothing I can do at this point but just move on and hope that one day she will cool off. Oh well.

On another note I am excited about my medical but the process won't be easy. Talked to my friend and he said that since I got injuired in the army they will fail me until I bring them more paperwork. I already got a letter from a doctor saying I am ok that I will take with me but something tells me it won't be enough. If they put me on medical review ill do my best to get off it asap.

Did anybody here have to deal with a medical review? How did you get off.

[thecongo]

when I expresse dinterest in becoming a cop to my father the first thing he told me was "a cop is a frustrated student"....hes also firmly against it. But he doesn't mention it anymore. Hes respecting my decisions.

[gbotj]

well that frustrated student has the option to retire at 40 years old where in the private sector you probably have to work until 62 and your retirement is an IRA/401k. With PD its a 50% of FAS for the last 3 years PLUS any deferred comp plans you have.

That private sector employee also doesnt have the job security ANYONE in civil service has, and promotion opportunities are excellent.

[gbotj]

The pride, respect, and brotherhood is second to none.
I'd follow any law enforcement officer through the flood gates of hell. I dont know of anyother profession where that can be said other than FD and military.


Also unlike private sector jobs theres no "well Jim, your performance for the past month has been a little iffy. The company is facing some financial problems so we're going to drop you down to $15 an hour"
In LE your pay goes up every year. And when that stops, take a test and get a bump in pay, pride, and status.

[MercuryEvo]

wow, your Mother is horrible. How can she throw you out for choosing a Job she doesnt approve of? thats complete BS

[PTLovesMe81]

I am first generation NYPD and when I first broke the news to my mother that I was taking civil service tests and this was what i wanted to do with my life, she flipped out on me.

After she screamed for a few days she calmed down and explained its just because she was very worried for my safety.

Once I knew that, I found ways of explaining how even though it is a very dangerous job, we work to be safe and sign out at the end of the night.

Give it time, you will sell the job to her, and while she may never like it, she will learn to accept it eventually. Good luck, and never second guess yourself for doing what YOU want to do. Its the only way to go.

[thecongo]

wow, your Mother is horrible. How can she throw you out for choosing a Job she doesnt approve of? thats complete BS

some people are old school. A lot of times parents come from other countries with high hopes and dreams for their kids. In some of their countries a cop is just someone who couldn't make it in school. At first they dont understand it, but some will grow to accept it. My father is one of those people.
I explained to him all of the benefits and prestige of being an officer. His reply to me was "none of that justifies the fact that you literally have to run towards danger".