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Conservative's Guide to Palintology

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  • Conservative's Guide to Palintology

    Food for thought:


    If you're a minority and you're selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a "token hire."


    If you're a conservative and you're selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a "game changer."
    __________________________________
    If you live in an urban area and you get a girl pregnant you're a "baby daddy."



    If you're the same in Alaska you're a "teen father."
    _______________________________________
    If you're 18, white, and get a 16 year old girl pregnant "life happens."



    If you're 18, black, and impregnate a 16 year old girl, you're a "registered sex offender."

    ___________________________________

    Black teen pregnancies? A "crisis" in black America.





    White teen pregnancies? A "blessed event."

    ____________________________________

    If you grow up in Hawaii you're "exotic."



    Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you're the quintessential "American story."

    ____________________________
    If you name your kid Barack you're
    "unpatriotic."



    Name your kid Track, you're "colorful."

    ____________________________

    If you're a Democrat and you make a VP pick without fully vetting the individual you're "reckless."



    A Republican who doesn't fully vet is a "maverick."

    ______________________________

    If you say that for the "first time in my adult lifetime I'm really proud of my country" it makes you "unfit" to be First Lady.





    If you are a registered member of a fringe political group that advocates secession that makes you "First Dude."

    __________________

    A DUI from twenty years ago is "old news."



    A speech given without proper citation from twenty years
    ago is "relevant information."

    _____________

    If you're a man and you decide to run for office despite your wife's reoccurrence of cancer you're a "questionable spouse."



    If you're a woman and you decide to run for office despite having five kids including a newborn with Downs Syndrome... Well, we don't know what that is 'cause THAT'S NOT A FAIR QUESTION TO ASK!

    _______________________

    If you get 18 million people to vote for you in a national presidential primary, you're a "phoney."



    Get 100,000+ people to vote you governor of the 47th most populous state in the Union, you're "well loved."

    ________________________________

    If you are biracial and born in a state not connected to the lower 48, America needs darn near 2 years and 3 major speeches to "get to know you. "



    If you're white and from a state not connected to the lower 48, America needs 36 minutes and 38 seconds worth of an acceptance speech to know you're "one of us."

    ____________________________

    If you give your wife a dap on stage, it's actually a "terrorist fist jab."



    If your daughter licks her palm so that she can slick down your youngest child's hair on national TV it's an "adorable moment."

    ____________________________________

    If your pastor rails against inequality in the United States of America, you're an "extremist."



    If your pastor welcomes a sermon by a member of Jews for Jesus who preaches that the killing of Jews by terrorists is a lesson to Jews that they must convert to Christianity, you're a "fundamentalist."

    __________________________________

    If you're a black man and you use a scholarship to get into college, then work your way up to being the president of the Harvard Law Review, you're "uppity."



    If you're a conservative and your parents pay your way to Hawaii Pacific University, you only have four more schools to attend over the next five years before you somehow manage to graduate (it might be five more school
    over the next five years. No one has yet verified whether or not Palin was actually ever registered at the University of Hawaii at Hilo.

    But, you know how shady people are who ever
    attended any kind of school in Hawaii).



    _________________________________

    If you spend 18 months building a campaign around the theme
    of "Change," it's just "empty rhetoric."



    If one week before your party's national convention you SUDDENLY make your candidacy about "Change," that's "red meat."

    _______________________________

    If you are a Democrat, an Independent, or even a moderate Republican, if you're female, male, white, black, Asian, Hispanic, bi-racial, multi-ethnic, or GLBT, if you're a Jew, Gentile, Muslim, agnostic or atheist - "Yes, we
    can!"



    If you're a pitbull with lipstick from Alaska,
    "Yup, yup!"

  • #2
    Nice...........

    A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying... that he is wiser today than yesterday. Jonathan Swift 1667-1745

    It's only a conspiracy when your party is not in power.

    Comment


    • #3
      yay! lol my favorite one is the "terrorist fist jab"... it makes me giggle.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Presence View Post
        Food for thought:


        If you're a minority and you're selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a "token hire."


        If you're a conservative and you're selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a "game changer."
        __________________________________
        If you live in an urban area and you get a girl pregnant you're a "baby daddy."



        If you're the same in Alaska you're a "teen father."
        _______________________________________
        If you're 18, white, and get a 16 year old girl pregnant "life happens."



        If you're 18, black, and impregnate a 16 year old girl, you're a "registered sex offender."

        ___________________________________

        Black teen pregnancies? A "crisis" in black America.





        White teen pregnancies? A "blessed event."

        ____________________________________

        If you grow up in Hawaii you're "exotic."



        Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you're the quintessential "American story."

        ____________________________
        If you name your kid Barack you're
        "unpatriotic."



        Name your kid Track, you're "colorful."

        ____________________________

        If you're a Democrat and you make a VP pick without fully vetting the individual you're "reckless."



        A Republican who doesn't fully vet is a "maverick."

        ______________________________

        If you say that for the "first time in my adult lifetime I'm really proud of my country" it makes you "unfit" to be First Lady.





        If you are a registered member of a fringe political group that advocates secession that makes you "First Dude."

        __________________

        A DUI from twenty years ago is "old news."



        A speech given without proper citation from twenty years
        ago is "relevant information."

        _____________

        If you're a man and you decide to run for office despite your wife's reoccurrence of cancer you're a "questionable spouse."



        If you're a woman and you decide to run for office despite having five kids including a newborn with Downs Syndrome... Well, we don't know what that is 'cause THAT'S NOT A FAIR QUESTION TO ASK!

        _______________________

        If you get 18 million people to vote for you in a national presidential primary, you're a "phoney."



        Get 100,000+ people to vote you governor of the 47th most populous state in the Union, you're "well loved."

        ________________________________

        If you are biracial and born in a state not connected to the lower 48, America needs darn near 2 years and 3 major speeches to "get to know you. "



        If you're white and from a state not connected to the lower 48, America needs 36 minutes and 38 seconds worth of an acceptance speech to know you're "one of us."

        ____________________________

        If you give your wife a dap on stage, it's actually a "terrorist fist jab."



        If your daughter licks her palm so that she can slick down your youngest child's hair on national TV it's an "adorable moment."

        ____________________________________

        If your pastor rails against inequality in the United States of America, you're an "extremist."



        If your pastor welcomes a sermon by a member of Jews for Jesus who preaches that the killing of Jews by terrorists is a lesson to Jews that they must convert to Christianity, you're a "fundamentalist."

        __________________________________

        If you're a black man and you use a scholarship to get into college, then work your way up to being the president of the Harvard Law Review, you're "uppity."



        If you're a conservative and your parents pay your way to Hawaii Pacific University, you only have four more schools to attend over the next five years before you somehow manage to graduate (it might be five more school
        over the next five years. No one has yet verified whether or not Palin was actually ever registered at the University of Hawaii at Hilo.

        But, you know how shady people are who ever
        attended any kind of school in Hawaii).



        _________________________________

        If you spend 18 months building a campaign around the theme
        of "Change," it's just "empty rhetoric."



        If one week before your party's national convention you SUDDENLY make your candidacy about "Change," that's "red meat."

        _______________________________

        If you are a Democrat, an Independent, or even a moderate Republican, if you're female, male, white, black, Asian, Hispanic, bi-racial, multi-ethnic, or GLBT, if you're a Jew, Gentile, Muslim, agnostic or atheist - "Yes, we
        can!"



        If you're a pitbull with lipstick from Alaska,
        "Yup, yup!"
        I think they were all very good. The only thing that I think is fair is the thing about Edwards and his wife. He should've stepped down, after learning his wife had cancer. He shouldn't have been all over the place, running for office. Just like Palin, who shouldn't be running around running for office, when she has 4 kids at home, one of which has down syndrome. My cousin has down syndrome, and it takes a lot of time to take [I]proper[I] care of her. If Palin paid more attention to the family she made, instead of running around for offices, maybe her underage daughter wouldn't have been knocked up.
        "The deepest human defeat suffered by human beings is constituted by the difference between what one was capable of becoming and what one has in fact become."

        Comment


        • #5
          Eh, it's clever, but some of those don't hold water...
          sigpic

          Comment


          • #6
            Good post Presence! That about sums up that some people in this country will overlook a lot of things except the color of skin.
            Intolerant of ignorance, acting, and BS!!

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Southflaguy View Post
              Eh, it's clever, but some of those don't hold water...
              It doesn't need to be true, it just needs to prove a point to people who've already decided.
              For every one hundred men you send us,
              Ten should not even be here.
              Eighty are nothing but targets.
              Nine of them are real fighters;
              We are lucky to have them, they the battle make.
              Ah, but the one. One of them is a warrior.
              And he will bring the others back.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by BlackJack View Post
                Good post Presence! That about sums up that some people in this country will overlook a lot of things except the color of skin.
                You're really going to make that argument? It could go either way, you know.
                For every one hundred men you send us,
                Ten should not even be here.
                Eighty are nothing but targets.
                Nine of them are real fighters;
                We are lucky to have them, they the battle make.
                Ah, but the one. One of them is a warrior.
                And he will bring the others back.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Great post! So so so true.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Oh yeah? Oh yeah?
                    • If you have never led any corporation, military group, hamlet, big city or state - and have never passed a single piece of meaningfull legislation in the whopping 2 whole years you've been a senator, you are the "gift from God" liberal choice for President...but...if you have more executive experience than the liberal ticket combined, you are mocked and belittled and minimalized by the left-wing media and its army of minions invading your hometown looking for dirt.
                    • If you have fought absolutely no one to change anything, you have merely used change to promote your career. But... If you have fought big oil for change AND WON; fought the corrupt political establishment of your state to change on behalf of your constituents AND WON; fought for a 40 million dollar pipeline for your country to aid in its energy independence BEFORE IT WAS COOL TO SAY SO; if you have chosen to put your money where your mouth is and give birth, love and nurture a child many libs would have murdered without a care; if you have seen waste in your government office and immediately fought to end it - returning the gains to your citizens; if you have walked out and resigned from a group because they were wrong and unprincipled rather than remain within it for 20 years ignoring the hatred and bigotry, you, really have used your career, to promote change.
                    • If you lie and plagerize term papers while in college and boldly make racist statements about people whom own 7-11 convenience stores and outwaredly admit you are not the most qualified candidate your running mate could have chosen and, you say that the possiblity of a woman vice-president is a step BACKWARD for women ... you are selected as the liberal candidate for vice president and hailed on high. But ... if you are a driven, powerful, successful agent of modern political change and, are loving mother and wife selected for the vice-presidential candidate for conservatives the left goes insane and suddenly; womens rights, the glass ceiling and a huge gain for American equality for women, is demonized and minimized by the very people you can help the most.
                    • If you think America is a "downright mean country," have never been proud of America until you husband runs for president, you are embraced by the left. But ... if you have ALWAYS loved your country; have always been PROUD of your country; have raised a child who loves his country so much he is willing to die for it ... you are questioned about your fiance's DWUI arrest 2 decades prior as though you had anything to do with it; questioned about your daughter becoming pregnant and her choice to bring forth that life conceived in love, as though you had anything to do with it; are questioned about a worthless and criminal leaning rogue cop you sought to have removed from your payroll and are questioned by the left-wing media about insane, ludicrous and made up stories from mentsally derainged bloggers.


                    There's some apples for ya. How do you like them?
                    Last edited by 1042 Trooper; 09-14-2008, 02:51 AM.
                    The All New
                    2013
                    BBQ and Goldfish Pond Club
                    Sully - IAM Rand - JasperST - L1 - The Tick - EmmaPeel - Columbus - LA Dep - SgtSlaughter - OneAdam12 - Retired96 - Iowa #1603
                    - M1Garand

                    (any BBQ and Goldfish Pond member may nominate another user for membership but just remember ..... this ain't no weenie roast!)



                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by 1042 Trooper View Post
                      Oh yeah? Oh yeah?
                      • If you have never led any corporation, militarty group, hamlet, big city or state - and have nevber passed a single piece of meaningfull legislation in the whopping 2 years you've been a senatror, you are the liberal choice for President...but...if you have more executive experience than the liberal ticket combined, you are mocked and belittled and minimalized by the left-wing media and its army of minions invading your hometown looking for dirt.
                      • If you have fought no one to change anything, you have used change to promote your career. But... If you have fought big oil for change AND WON; fought the corrupt political establishment of your state to change on behalf of your constituents AND WON; fought for a 40 million dollar pipeline for your country to aid in its energy independence BEFORE IT WAS COOL TO SAY SO; if you have chosen to put your money where your mouth is and give birth, love and nurture a child many libs would have murdered without a care; if you have seen waste in your government office and immediately fought to end it - returning the gains to your citizens; if you have walked out and resigned from a group because they were wrong and unprincipled rather than remain within it for 20 years ignoring the hatred and bigotry, you, have used your career, to promote change.
                      • If you lie and plagerize term papers while in college and boldly make racist statements about people whom own 7-11 convenience stores and outwaredly admit you are not the most qualified candidate your running mate could have chosen and you say that the possiblity of a woam vice-president is a step BACKWARD for women ... you are selected as the liberal candidate for vice president. But ... if you are a driven, powerful, successful agent of modern political change and are loving mother and wife serlected for the vice-presidencial candidate for conservatives, the left goes insane and suddenly, womens rights, the glass ceiling and a huge gain for American equality, is demonized and minimized by the very people you can help the most.
                      • If you think America is a "downright mean country", have never been proud of America until you husband runs for president, you are embraced by the left. But ... if you have ALWAYS loved your country; have always been PROUD of your country; have raised a child who loves his country so much he is willing to die for it ... you are questioned about your fiance's DWUI arrest 2 decades prior as though you had anything to do with it; questioned about your daughter becoming pregnant and her choice to bring forth that life conceived in love, as though you had anything to do with it; are questioned about a worthless and criminal leaning rogue cop you sought to have removed from your payroll and are questioned by the left-wing media about insane, ludicrous and made up stories from mentsally derainged bloggers.


                      There's some apples for ya. How do you like them?
                      Nicely done

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by 1042 Trooper View Post
                        Oh yeah? Oh yeah?
                        • If you have never led any corporation, militarty group, hamlet, big city or state - and have nevber passed a single piece of meaningfull legislation in the whopping 2 years you've been a senatror, you are the liberal choice for President...but...if you have more executive experience than the liberal ticket combined, you are mocked and belittled and minimalized by the left-wing media and its army of minions invading your hometown looking for dirt.
                        • If you have fought no one to change anything, you have used change to promote your career. But... If you have fought big oil for change AND WON; fought the corrupt political establishment of your state to change on behalf of your constituents AND WON; fought for a 40 million dollar pipeline for your country to aid in its energy independence BEFORE IT WAS COOL TO SAY SO; if you have chosen to put your money where your mouth is and give birth, love and nurture a child many libs would have murdered without a care; if you have seen waste in your government office and immediately fought to end it - returning the gains to your citizens; if you have walked out and resigned from a group because they were wrong and unprincipled rather than remain within it for 20 years ignoring the hatred and bigotry, you, have used your career, to promote change.
                        • If you lie and plagerize term papers while in college and boldly make racist statements about people whom own 7-11 convenience stores and outwaredly admit you are not the most qualified candidate your running mate could have chosen and you say that the possiblity of a woam vice-president is a step BACKWARD for women ... you are selected as the liberal candidate for vice president. But ... if you are a driven, powerful, successful agent of modern political change and are loving mother and wife serlected for the vice-presidencial candidate for conservatives, the left goes insane and suddenly, womens rights, the glass ceiling and a huge gain for American equality, is demonized and minimized by the very people you can help the most.
                        • If you think America is a "downright mean country", have never been proud of America until you husband runs for president, you are embraced by the left. But ... if you have ALWAYS loved your country; have always been PROUD of your country; have raised a child who loves his country so much he is willing to die for it ... you are questioned about your fiance's DWUI arrest 2 decades prior as though you had anything to do with it; questioned about your daughter becoming pregnant and her choice to bring forth that life conceived in love, as though you had anything to do with it; are questioned about a worthless and criminal leaning rogue cop you sought to have removed from your payroll and are questioned by the left-wing media about insane, ludicrous and made up stories from mentsally derainged bloggers.


                        There's some apples for ya. How do you like them?

                        LOL, I like the last part "conceived in love" You have no idea if that is true, but it is a nice try to put positive spin a terrible situation. You think a 17 year old and a 18 year old kid, created that innocent child "in love?" I'm sure it was more like two teenagers, trying to get their rocks off. What did you say about those teenagers who all got pregnant in Massachusetts? Did you say all those babies were created "in love"?
                        "The deepest human defeat suffered by human beings is constituted by the difference between what one was capable of becoming and what one has in fact become."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by 1042 Trooper View Post
                          Oh yeah? Oh yeah?
                          • If you have never led any corporation, militarty group, hamlet, big city or state - and have nevber passed a single piece of meaningfull legislation in the whopping 2 years you've been a senatror, you are the liberal choice for President...but...if you have more executive experience than the liberal ticket combined, you are mocked and belittled and minimalized by the left-wing media and its army of minions invading your hometown looking for dirt.
                          • If you have fought no one to change anything, you have used change to promote your career. But... If you have fought big oil for change AND WON; fought the corrupt political establishment of your state to change on behalf of your constituents AND WON; fought for a 40 million dollar pipeline for your country to aid in its energy independence BEFORE IT WAS COOL TO SAY SO; if you have chosen to put your money where your mouth is and give birth, love and nurture a child many libs would have murdered without a care; if you have seen waste in your government office and immediately fought to end it - returning the gains to your citizens; if you have walked out and resigned from a group because they were wrong and unprincipled rather than remain within it for 20 years ignoring the hatred and bigotry, you, have used your career, to promote change.
                          • If you lie and plagerize term papers while in college and boldly make racist statements about people whom own 7-11 convenience stores and outwaredly admit you are not the most qualified candidate your running mate could have chosen and you say that the possiblity of a woam vice-president is a step BACKWARD for women ... you are selected as the liberal candidate for vice president. But ... if you are a driven, powerful, successful agent of modern political change and are loving mother and wife serlected for the vice-presidencial candidate for conservatives, the left goes insane and suddenly, womens rights, the glass ceiling and a huge gain for American equality, is demonized and minimized by the very people you can help the most.
                          • If you think America is a "downright mean country", have never been proud of America until you husband runs for president, you are embraced by the left. But ... if you have ALWAYS loved your country; have always been PROUD of your country; have raised a child who loves his country so much he is willing to die for it ... you are questioned about your fiance's DWUI arrest 2 decades prior as though you had anything to do with it; questioned about your daughter becoming pregnant and her choice to bring forth that life conceived in love, as though you had anything to do with it; are questioned about a worthless and criminal leaning rogue cop you sought to have removed from your payroll and are questioned by the left-wing media about insane, ludicrous and made up stories from mentsally derainged bloggers.


                          There's some apples for ya. How do you like them?

                          Some apples, they are. Are they the big Macintosh??

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by mjhoyt27 View Post
                            LOL, I like the last part "conceived in love" You have no idea if that is true, but it is a nice try to put positive spin a terrible situation.
                            What I meant was it WASN'T rape or incest. Maybe lust, but hey - their normal kids I'm guessing. But what does that to do with the issues?
                            What did you say about those teenagers who all got pregnant in Massachusetts? Did you say all those babies were created "in love"?
                            What kids in Mass? I have no idea what you are referring to - don't remember having an opinion on any pg kids in Mass. What happened?
                            The All New
                            2013
                            BBQ and Goldfish Pond Club
                            Sully - IAM Rand - JasperST - L1 - The Tick - EmmaPeel - Columbus - LA Dep - SgtSlaughter - OneAdam12 - Retired96 - Iowa #1603
                            - M1Garand

                            (any BBQ and Goldfish Pond member may nominate another user for membership but just remember ..... this ain't no weenie roast!)



                            Comment

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