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Off-Duty carry part II

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  • Off-Duty carry part II

    So, i was watching tv with my wife last night and some cop in a show wasn't carrying off duty and got into a situation where he would have been better off with his weapon. I made some JA comment (as usual) and my wife said, "well you don't carry off duty." I just smiled and looked at her...which kind of upset her a little. She was kind of offended when I told her I did carry sometimes, even when we go out. In the past she hasn't noticed because I would subtly move in a position where she wouldn't feel my weapon when we held hands, hugged, etc. What did you guys do to help smooth this over with your wives?

  • #2
    I tell her it is required of us, by regulations (as it is). No problems. I also taught her how to shoot it, should the need arise. She loves target practice. Perhaps you might try taking her to a range. If you teach her well, and she shoots well, you may find yourself at the gun store picking out a small pink handled 357. Good luck.
    As far as "rights" are concerned; I look at them this way... I don't tell you what church to go to, and you don't tell me what kind of firearm I can own...

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    • #3
      It is the way it is, nothing to smooth over. She knows I carry a gun all the time, her boys 5 & 7 years (2nd marriage) know, the rest of my family and a few friends know because I don't hide it from them.
      IMO, just tell you're packing and be done with it. You're a cop, it comes with the territory.

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      • #4
        Why should you have to explain yourself? Cops carry guns end of story.

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        • #5
          We have gone to the range, however, that was more than a year ago. I also told her the password to my safe and taught her how to shoot my subcompact since it fits her hand size better. Maybe I'll take her back and get her into the mood again...I know I didn't explain it too well last night either. I kinda just said, "it's what I do." Then we dropped the subject. I'll have to bring it up again and try to explain it better. I just get a little peeved when people quetion what cops do and why. Oh well, I have to work on that.

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          • #6
            Exactly.

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            • #7
              I just explain to my wife what the result might be for our children if a situation arose where I needed my gun and didn't have it. That's all it took. Now she insists that I always carry, which of course I do anyway. Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.

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              • #8
                My EX-wife had a real problem with it, hence the EX part(partially at least), but my current has no problem with (has bought me 2 differant pistols for 2 seperate birthdays ) and no you clowns she doesn't have any sisters!
                "I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I require the same from them." John Wayne The Shootist

                "A nation which does not remember what it was yesterday, does not know what it is today"
                General Robert E. Lee, at Appomattox, Va

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                • #9
                  +1,000,000 of nothing to smooth over. What is up with you if you have to "carry" on the sly and hide it from her? What is up with the way you 2 communicate? Carrying is not something you ask permission for, it is something you just do. Granted, she might need to be educated on why you do it, but if she doesn't get it, it is her problem not yours. I would also wonder why you only carry "sometimes" to begin with.
                  www.saveavet.org

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                  • #10
                    My wife (of 22 years+) has always felt more comfortable with the fact that I'm armed. Where we might have some problems come up, is if she ever found out how much $$$$$ I've got invested (?) in firearms!
                    "I'm not fluent in the language of violence, but I know enough to get around in places where it's spoken."

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by pulicords View Post
                      My wife (of 22 years+) has always felt more comfortable with the fact that I'm armed. Where we might have some problems come up, is if she ever found out how much $$$$$ I've got invested (?) in firearms!
                      My wife picks on me because I carry a 9mm off duty and she carries a .357mag.! Yes, she has a CCW here in the People Republic of Kalifornia....
                      Carpe Noctem

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                      • #12
                        My wife used to second guess my off-duty carry, then we encountered some less than savory individuals outside a convenience store. I didn't have to draw my gun, however she said that she felt much better knowing that it was there if needed.

                        That was several years ago, now she even adjusts where she sits at restaurants to avoid me sitting with my gun on the "walkway" side. Now it is second nature to her.

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                        • #13
                          She should be willing to learn about your gun and accept it.

                          You should be willing to teach her and keep her in the loop. You should not try to hide your gun from her (shifting your body around, etc). That may be what she is upset about; all this time you had a gun and she didn't even know. She probably feels like you don't trust her with it.

                          Originally posted by EMVAMPYRE
                          My wife picks on me because I carry a 9mm off duty and she carries a .357mag.! Yes, she has a CCW here in the People Republic of Kalifornia....
                          That's OK, you can pick on her after your 9mm bullets save her butt because she ran out of ammo too quickly

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                          • #14
                            Saved my wife today!

                            My wife's appreciation for my shooting abilities just increased. Her new tomato plants were threatened by a "gang" of aggressive ground squirrels. Score since this AM (when the rules of engagement were authorized): 3 Confirmed KIAs and 2 Probables! Authorized weapon: RWS .177 @ 1000 fps.
                            Last edited by pulicords; 05-29-2007, 04:16 PM. Reason: additional info
                            "I'm not fluent in the language of violence, but I know enough to get around in places where it's spoken."

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                            • #15
                              Why would any of you have to explain the need for off duty carry to anyone, especially your spouse?

                              Really, if she doesn't approve or doesnt get it,even after an explainantion, that is entirely her problem. if that is truly the case, I would dump the woman before I surrender my weapon.

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