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  • Ex refuses to give contact information

    I need my ex's address, phone, and employer for a hiring process. I messaged him over facebook asking for the information. He was appalled that I would ask for the info and said it was completely inappropriate and unnecessary and that he's not handing that information over to a police department, and that I should omit our time together on the application. Obviously, I can't do that. I think he's still bitter about our breakup 3+ years ago. He would text me every month for a year before I finally changed my number. This is the first time I've contacted him since. Now what?

    My other ex had no problem giving me his info. He wished me luck and said he would speak highly of me.
    Last edited by iliketurtles; 11-23-2013, 11:58 AM.

  • #2
    Originally posted by iliketurtles View Post
    I need my ex's address, phone, and employer for a hiring process. I messaged him over facebook asking for the information. He was appalled that I would ask for the info and said it was completely inappropriate and unnecessary and that he's not handing that information over to a police department, and that I should omit our time together on the application. Obviously, I can't do that. I think he's still bitter about our breakup 3+ years ago. He would text me every month for a year before I finally changed my number. This is the first time I've contacted him since. Now what?

    My other ex had no problem giving me his info. He wished me luck and said he would speak highly of me.
    Now what, what? He doesn't have to give you anything. If you really want it, use an online people search engine, spend $20.00 and get the info you want.

    Really, you think he's still bitter?

    Comment


    • #3
      The application says that incomplete sections are unacceptable.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by iliketurtles View Post
        The application says that incomplete sections are unacceptable.
        Jesus Christ.

        "UNKNOWN".

        Comment


        • #5
          Just give the old adress and make the comment that ex does not want to be contacted.I'm sure your BI will understand what's going on.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by iliketurtles View Post
            The application says that incomplete sections are unacceptable.
            EVERY application I have ever filled out (and everyone I have ever reviewed as an Investigator) allows for attaching a separate page with explanations for those situations that can't be fitted into the small form

            Attach a page telling the agency that your ex refuses to provide that information, give them what information you have and let the investigator do his/her magic


            Originally posted by Michigan View Post
            Now what, what? He doesn't have to give you anything. If you really want it, use an online people search engine, spend $20.00 and get the info you want.

            Really, you think he's still bitter?
            He speaks the truth
            Last edited by Iowa #1603; 11-23-2013, 02:37 PM.
            My new word for the day is FOCUS, when someone irritates you tell them to FOCUS

            Comment


            • #7
              [QUOTE=iliketurtles;3378519]I need my ex's address, phone, and employer for a hiring process. I messaged him over facebook asking for the information. QUOTE]

              Sorry to be nosey, but I just completed a SF-86 and nowhere on the application did it indicate that you must provide information on your past dating relationships. The only question if I remember correctly that would be relevant to your question is the question on there about your current relationships. Which I've never given contacts because I'm in and out of relationships. So I just put single. The last thing the government wants to do is be in your bedroom. The only way I could see your past relationships being relevant is if cohabitated with him/her and you willingly put that person down as a reference on your SF-86. I'm NO background investigator but I can tell you no one in their "right-mind" puts down a ex-bf or gf as a reference if the relationship ended on bad terms. The only thing you do get to pick on the SF-86 are your references. I would suggest choosing them wisely. The only other way I could see all your past boyfriends being relevant to an SF-86 is if they all are foreign nationals and you keep a close and continuing relationship with them.
              The only easy day was yesterday. - BUDS Instructor

              Comment


              • #8
                The SF 86 only applies for federal jobs, but you are still required to list any former spouses as well as any boyfriend or girlfriend you currently live with.

                Many other LE agencies will be interested in that kind of info too and they will use their own paperwork. I know I had to specifically list anyone I had lived with in the past 10 years.

                Comment


                • #9
                  My investigator told me either contact my ex wife or don't get the job

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    A good background investigator will understand the situation. Obviously if you can't contact an ex, then there is not much you can do about it.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by SLDPD View Post
                      My investigator told me either contact my ex wife or don't get the job
                      He was lazy

                      See below

                      Originally posted by beachcop05 View Post
                      A good background investigator will understand the situation. Obviously if you can't contact an ex, then there is not much you can do about it.
                      My new word for the day is FOCUS, when someone irritates you tell them to FOCUS

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by DOA-DOL-DOJ-DHS
                        A lot of background investigators work for a security company that has a government contract. They can not get a real police job, so they think they are protecting America by keeping who they think are scrupulous applicants away. Complete the application to your best and good luck.
                        That does not hold true for most city/county/state agencies. For the most part in those agencies the BI's are performed by assigned LEO's who do background investigations either as first assignment (larger agencies) or as a secondary role (medium and small sized agencies)
                        My new word for the day is FOCUS, when someone irritates you tell them to FOCUS

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by DOA-DOL-DOJ-DHS
                          I'm gonna answer backwards to the threads. I agree with those that say, the applicant investigator is lazy and besides, he doesn't do anything but gather information and verify what you have said. He is not a hiring official.
                          Next, if you completed the sf86 for a feudal job and did not put any past formal relationships, you can forget the job with that attitude. The government does want in your life, especially the higher you go in an agency or clearance.
                          Next ms turtle if you only have a Facebook identifier, then that is what you give.
                          A lot of background investigators work for a security company that has a government contract. They can not get a real police job, so they think they are protecting America by keeping who they think are scrupulous applicants away. Complete the application to your best and good luck.
                          Just a few clarifying points-

                          • It’s a federal not feudal position.

                          • Neither the SF-85 nor SF-86 request or require you to enter relationships beyond the family level unless you are in a cleared position and have a close continuing relationship with a non-US person.

                          • Granted, some positions do trigger a deeper dive into a person’s background- but suitability for federal employment, certain acquisition billets, and for a clearance/access are different aspects.

                          • A good number of contract investigators are retired feds/cops so your assertion that they are unable to get a “real police job” is rubbish.
                          Originally posted by SSD
                          It has long been the tradition on this forum and as well as professionally not to second guess or Monday morning QB the officer's who were actually on-scene and had to make the decision. That being said, I don't think that your discussion will go very far on this board.
                          Originally posted by Iowa #1603
                          And now you are arguing about not arguing..................

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Since you have the obtuse gumption I will retort:

                            You have no idea what you’re talking about. While your little quip about the federal government being run like some feudal system was cute…that’s about it.


                            It appears that you are unfamiliar with an SF-85 or SF-86. I on the other hand am.

                            1. The SF-85 (Questionnaire for Non-Sensitive Positions) does not request information pertaining to friends or room-mates. http://www.opm.gov/forms/pdf_fill/sf85.pdf

                            2. The SF-86 (Questionnaire for National Security Positions) does not request information pertaining to friends or non relatives outside of very specific scope.

                            http://www.opm.gov/forms/pdf_fill/sf86.pdf

                            Section 16 does provide space for you to list 3 people who know you well and who are NOT listed elsewhere on the form; it is they who can speak to your activities outside of work, school or where you reside(d) and who have known you for at-least 7 years. And yes, they can be friends.

                            Block 17 provides for entry of information related to current/former spouses (to include common-law), and Yes- page 39 does mention roommates, but specifically qualifies that such cohabitant if not party to a bond of affection, obligation, or other commitment is not listed.

                            Block 18 covers relatives (including step, half and in-law)

                            Throughout the SF-86 there is a notation of “FRIEND” which is used to list a point-of-contact who can verify your presence, can speak to your character or otherwise be used as a field contact. Again, you would only list non-relatives outside the scope of very specific scope if they are a non-US person and such is listed in Block 19 and who is not listed elsewhere.

                            3. Simply put: SAP/SCI programs require additional screening and a further grant of access. Some acquisition positions require financial disclosure and vetting of personal holdings. Certain positions prohibit holding or acquiring financial interests; requiring a different check beyond suitability.
                            So there you go.
                            Originally posted by DOA-DOL-DOJ-DHS
                            Jon says:
                            • It’s a federal not feudal position. It's a word, look it up and compare it to the way the current government works. Or it was bad spell check.

                            • Neither the SF-85 nor SF-86 request or require you to enter relationships beyond the family level unless you are in a cleared position and have a close continuing relationship with a non-US person. Really, so if I live with someone for 7 yrs, I don't need to say anything? I think you're way off!

                            • Granted, some positions do trigger a deeper dive into a person’s background- but suitability for federal employment, certain acquisition billets, and for a clearance/access are different aspects. What are you trying to say? I did not say ALL, but it's your way of thinking and clearing people that get them on my radar for followup and possible arrest. So, go ahead and advise like you are.

                            • A good number of contract investigators are retired feds/cops so your assertion that they are unable to get a “real police job” is rubbish. In the last 5 BI, I have personally been involved in, they were not retired any thing LEO. They were new investigators. So, lets go the other way, just because someone is a retired LEO, that doesn't make them a good BI investigator. We all know the type of lazy agents there a out there. Again, I didn't say all.
                            Originally posted by SSD
                            It has long been the tradition on this forum and as well as professionally not to second guess or Monday morning QB the officer's who were actually on-scene and had to make the decision. That being said, I don't think that your discussion will go very far on this board.
                            Originally posted by Iowa #1603
                            And now you are arguing about not arguing..................

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by iliketurtles View Post
                              He would text me every month for a year before I finally changed my number. This is the first time I've contacted him since. Now what?
                              So let me get this straight. When he contacted you (once a month, not excessively) you responded by changing your number. And when you contact him (to ask for his help), he isn't thrilled.

                              Is that right?
                              You can now follow me on twitter.

                              Comment

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