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Job Offer??? (Dilemma)

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  • Job Offer??? (Dilemma)

    What are your thoughts on taking a job that is far away from home and your significant other doesn't want to move? He fears he wont be able to find a job in the area where my new position would be because it is a very small town and not close to anything. However, the economy is bad and I have a full time job offer on the table. (I still have to pass background and psych so nothing is set in stone) I have testing with a few more agencies in the coming weeks and he feels I will get something with them. However, if I turn them down and I don't get past the testing phase with the other departments I am back at square one with no job. (granted I will still be doing testing for other agencies while doing background and the psych test, but what if I haven't heard back from those agencies by the time I need to make a decision for this department?) I really want to be a police officer and I feel this my opportunity and I should take it. My parents also think I should take it. What are your thoughts? Anyone been in a similar situation? What would you do if you were in my shoes?

    Thanks guys, just looking for some outside advice on the whole situation.
    cosain agus fóin

  • #2
    You'll be surprised how often someone has a "gut feeling" that one of your options will work out when that option will be the one that benefits him the most. You might be a little unhappy if you let this one get away from you just to keep him happy. What happens if the other jobs don't materialize?

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    • #3
      If both of you have no job, then I think it would be best for you to take the job and he may have to suffer for a bit and work at the local grocery or something while he tries to better himself and apply for jobs where his specialty is. If you are a police officer, and he finds a job somewhere else, I assume it wouldn't be that hard to get a transfer to then follow your significant other??? But I dont know.

      If this is what you really want, I would hope your significant other would recognize that and forgo his job (which sounds like he is just looking for a job and not his dream career) for your dream job, until he figures out what his "dream job" is and then you 2 work it out together. Otherwise, maybe he's not the one.. but dont take my word, I don't know you guys. I did however follow my wife overseas and quit a 6 figure job for hers that was 1/3 my salary and we are happy. But I look forward to getting into my "dream job".
      Last edited by maxxedstr; 05-11-2011, 08:09 AM.

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      • #4
        GO FOR IT !!!!!

        LEO employment is harder to find than significant others...
        "We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm" -George Orwell

        "It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing diapers." - Blues Brothers

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        • #5
          Can you survive on one income until he finds work? How long have you two been a couple? How much are you going to resent him if you pass on this job and the other ones don't pan out? Probably a lot. Are you willing to take the job knowing it may mean the end of your relationship? Too many unanswered questions. The grumpyirishman has a valid point.

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          • #6
            You'll be surprised how often someone has a "gut feeling" that one of your options will work out when that option will be the one that benefits him the most. You might be a little unhappy if you let this one get away from you just to keep him happy. What happens if the other jobs don't materialize?
            +10000000000000000

            Some years ago I let CHP get away to please my wife. it is a decision that I have regretted for a long time. She as well has regretted making that decision for me. Now I am 38 and too old to ever apply there. Don't make the mistake I did.
            MDRDEP:

            There are no stupid questions, but there sure are a lot of inquisitive idiots.

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            • #7
              Is your SO currently employed full-time?

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              • #8
                Thanks for the replies. We have been together for about 7 years and are getting married in the fall. We both graduated this past winter and have been looking for full time work. He is going to be a teacher and has a long term sub job right now, but nothing permanent for next school year. In fact most schools handed out pink slips around our area a couple weeks ago, which isn't a good sign they will be hiring in the fall. I know he is proud of me, but I think he is just really scared that if I take this job and we move so far away from our friends and family to a place that is really small he wont be able to get his dream job. (not very many school districts in the area) I completely understand this and am not mad at him for being afraid, but I also think he is just saying no and not looking at the big picture. It is hard getting through to him that is will be a full time job with benefits and that I don't have to stay there forever. (I don't even have the job yet, it is pending my background and psych test, but I am trying to figure out what to do assuming I pass all those and get the job). Thanks again for you replies.
                cosain agus fóin

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                • #9
                  Would he expect you to pick up and move if the local school district this town is in offered him a full time job with benies? In your situation, I think you need to go to wherever offers either one of you a decent full time job first.

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                  • #10
                    +1

                    Take whatever job comes at you...your man should be able to apply as a day-to-day sub at local schools so he won't make much cash and won't have full-time experience but teaching jobs in many areas are difficult to find now so it won't be too detrimental to his resume.
                    I suppose you both can be thankful that your intended career paths can both be achieved in one location, wherever that may be. (usually wherever there are cops there are teachers)
                    My long-term girlfriend has a permanent teaching job and I am close to a position in LE so she is willing to walk away from that and look for a teaching job wherever I may end up.
                    Is employment the only reason he doesn't want to leave or is it something else like he doesn't want to leave his boys?

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                    • #11
                      Policetrack..

                      I'm in a similar position as you. I have found an AWESOME job but my wife refuses to go along with the program. The only difference is I have been in LE for several years now. We battle over the dumbest of things, instead of the big picture of a great job, great bene's and such. Were down to "its cold" "there's snow" "I don't know how to drive in snow"....I just scream and yell at the wall (when she's not around). I too don't know what to do. Looks like were gonna see who crosses the line in the sand first..LOL
                      The sheep generally do not like the sheepdog. He looks a lot like the wolf. He has fangs and the capacity for violence. The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, cannot and will not ever harm the sheep. Any sheepdog who intentionally harms the lowliest little lamb will be punished and removed.

                      I Am the Sheepdog.

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                      • #12
                        My wife will move anywhere as long as there is a Target store near by...

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                        • #13
                          Thanks guys.

                          Actually my Fiance has been thinking about it and said if I pass background and psych then he will move to me. He has been doing a lot of research and is more into the town, even though it i small. I told him to let me have a year there and then we can figure out our next move and he agreed!!
                          cosain agus fóin

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