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so I sat on oral boards today

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  • so I sat on oral boards today

    Once again I spent the day on officer oral boards and once again I am absolutely dismayed at how terrible everyone is on oral boards.

    How can it be that not one applicant had the slightest idea what community policing is?

    Why do people think 5 minutes of I net research is going to blow our doors off?

    Every applicant, like clockwork, saying exactly the same thing when asked why they want to work here. "Because I know you have about 170 cops and you have the specialties of C-CAT GSU SIU Mounted Team and K-9." Which is exactly what it says on the first page of our website.

    And nobody ever thinking like a cops. Suspect is screaming at you what do you do? “I call a Sgt so he can file a complaint on me.”

    Well, at least nobody mentioned watching COPS on TV.
    Originally posted by FJDave
    GM, you have just set the bar that much higher for the rest of us in our witty, sarcastic responses. I yield to you! Good job, kind Sir!

    District B13
    "We are not cops nor Feds." yet he still poses as an officer Hmmmm


    Grant us grace, fearlessly, to contend against evil and to make no peace with oppression.--WWII memorial

    "I have loved justice and hated iniquity, therefore I die in exile."

    Pope Gregory V II

  • #2
    Oral boards are so nerve-wracking. It was easily, far and away, the most difficult part of the process, for me. And I'll bet most candidates walked out thinking, OMG... I just brain-farted THAT one!

    I know I certainly felt that way, after it was over... *wince!* D'oh...
    Sure, that badge will get you midgets, but those midgets will get that badge!

    The more I learn about people, the more I prefer the company of my dogs.

    Comment


    • #3
      in my experience it's either as you described or they are so rehearsed they can't think to expound on an answer...
      It's not the will to win that matters...everyone has that. It's the will to prepare to win that matters.
      Paul "Bear" Bryant

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by BCSD Frank View Post
        Oral boards are so nerve-wracking. It was easily, far and away, the most difficult part of the process, for me. And I'll bet most candidates walked out thinking, OMG... I just brain-farted THAT one!

        I know I certainly felt that way, after it was over... *wince!* D'oh...
        Frank couldnt agree more.... Six BRASS in front of me at the table, and me sitting out in the middle of the room in swivile chair. LMAO when looking back.... When I left I felt VIOLATED in my mind. MWaaaHHAAAA. GOOD TIMES

        Comment


        • #5
          Oral exams scare the bejabbers out of many people. Last time I had one, I woke up that morning with stomach pains, I was so anxious. Can't tell you another time when that has happened.

          I've had a couple, when I was in the process of seeking ordination, and I am remembering one where there was a whole group of candidates being tested together, by a whole bunch of examining chaplains. Because not all the questions were directed at me, I had the chance to observe the other candidates. One poor guy I particularly remember, was scared stiff-- so scared his mind wasn't working right. They asked him a question that had an easy, common sense answer--"conscience"-- but he was scared and I think he thought it had to be harder than that. He just froze. I could practically feel his brain racing, searching for some scripture, some saying of a theologian, something, anything!

          I tried to beam him the answer, and proved to myself I do not have that power.

          The look on his face when they asked someone else to answer the question, and they gave that simple answer... oh, my.

          He was neither stupid nor uneducated. He was just plain nervous. Some folks test better than others.

          Having said that, a friend who is a human resources officer for a bank tells me she is appalled by the ignorance and poor preparation of the people she interviews for bank positions. So maybe it is not only nerves.
          We do not all come to religion over the wandering years,
          but sooner or later we all get to meet God. -- Edward Conlon

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Livew1re View Post
            Frank couldnt agree more.... Six BRASS in front of me at the table, and me sitting out in the middle of the room in swivile chair. LMAO when looking back.... When I left I felt VIOLATED in my mind. MWaaaHHAAAA. GOOD TIMES
            BWAHAHAHAHA.... What's funny, is that in the Army, as a lowly Sergeant, I've stood before Colonels, Generals, won Soldier Of The Quarter, for which there was a whole table of Sergeant-Majors grilling me, for part of the candidacy process, and I've given testimony at Courts Martials, before. Nothing made me more nervous than walking into the oral board for my Deputy Sheriff candidacy, and it was actually quite informal, by comparison.

            On the other hand, I was fairly prepared. I didn't know what to expect, but I tried to give very honest, very clear answers, but there were a couple of questions that I answered, where I was a little surprised at the words coming out of my mouth. Ah... If only life had a "rewind" button...
            Sure, that badge will get you midgets, but those midgets will get that badge!

            The more I learn about people, the more I prefer the company of my dogs.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by BCSD Frank View Post
              and I've given testimony at Courts Martials,
              I've often wondered why it is "courts martial" and not "court martials"...
              I make my living on Irish welfare.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by reils49 View Post
                I've often wondered why it is "courts martial" and not "court martials"...
                Right? I've never understood that, either.
                Sure, that badge will get you midgets, but those midgets will get that badge!

                The more I learn about people, the more I prefer the company of my dogs.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by reils49 View Post
                  I've often wondered why it is "courts martial" and not "court martials"...
                  "Martial" is a post-positive adjective describing the noun "court." The backwards construction probably derives from some funky and archaic foreign language. Or French. We can always blame the French.

                  Anyway, since in English, nouns receive the plural, "court" and not "martial" gets the added "s." Or, think of it like this: If you were to spin it around to a more standard construction and say, "military court," you wouldn't make it plural by saying "militaries court." You'd say "military courts." It's the same principle as "attorneys general," "surgeons general," and "passers-by."

                  Anywho, back on topic: Were these entry-level, non-experienced candidates? I can't exactly fault them for not thinking like cops if they're not. There are a lot of sheeple in the world who get trained to always call their manager if there's a problem, etc.

                  We all know there are "canned answers," and "real answers." For example, I could say to a certain agency, "I want to work here because you've got an awesome 20 year retirement, you've got take-home cars with unlimited off-duty use in county, so I'd save a lot of cash on gas, and a great schedule with 12-hour days and three-day weekends." But I'd be a bit apprehensive to say that, because it screams that I'm intersted in what the agency can give ME.

                  Now, I can regurgitate the canned response, "Your specialty units would give me room to expand my skills and explore new facets of police work as I progress in my career with your agency..." It sounds icky. It sounds fake. It sounds like I'm telling the board what they want to hear -- and I am. But it's a calculated decision. Do I tell the truth, and seem more interested in myself? Or do I tell the board what I think they want to hear -- that I'll be loyal and have a long tenure there? I think most people fall into the second category. They may deep down WANT the take-homes and the sweet schedules, but they won't admit that's what places Agency A at the top of their list.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Dunno, were any of these people experienced?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      When I took my oral for the only PD (out of eight) in Colorado who would take me with a pending work-comp case back in CA, they started with, "So why, after 30 years with LAPD, do you you want to get back into police work here in Monument?" I thought for a millisecond and told them, "Because I'm afraid my days as a swimsuit model are, sadly, coming to an end."

                      I learned later, that they knew from that answer, alone, they wanted me.

                      The fact that I was the first, ever, to score 100% on their written exam didn't hurt either.
                      "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

                      Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

                      Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Kieth M. View Post
                        When I took my oral for the only PD (out of eight) in Colorado who would take me with a pending work-comp case back in CA, they started with, "So why, after 30 years with LAPD, do you you want to get back into police work here in Monument?" I thought for a millisecond and told them, "Because I'm afraid my days as a swimsuit model are, sadly, coming to an end."

                        I learned later, that they knew from that answer, alone, they wanted me.

                        The fact that I was the first, ever, to score 100% on their written exam didn't hurt either.
                        Now THAT is funny right there, I don't care who ya are...
                        It's not the will to win that matters...everyone has that. It's the will to prepare to win that matters.
                        Paul "Bear" Bryant

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Garbage Man View Post
                          And nobody ever thinking like a cops. Suspect is screaming at you what do you do? “I call a Sgt so he can file a complaint on me.”
                          Holy Moly! Is that what they got out of 2-4 years of CJ classes?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Kieth M. View Post
                            When I took my oral for the only PD (out of eight) in Colorado who would take me with a pending work-comp case back in CA, they started with, "So why, after 30 years with LAPD, do you you want to get back into police work here in Monument?" I thought for a millisecond and told them, "Because I'm afraid my days as a swimsuit model are, sadly, coming to an end."

                            I learned later, that they knew from that answer, alone, they wanted me.

                            The fact that I was the first, ever, to score 100% on their written exam didn't hurt either.
                            BWAHAHAHAHA... I love it!
                            Sure, that badge will get you midgets, but those midgets will get that badge!

                            The more I learn about people, the more I prefer the company of my dogs.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Anywho, back on topic: Were these entry-level, non-experienced candidates? I can't exactly fault them for not thinking like cops if they're not. There are a lot of sheeple in the world who get trained to always call their manager if there's a problem, etc.

                              Academy grads. Some from academies I know have classes on taking orals.

                              As for being nervous, the only solution is to do your homework, and think. Another great tip is to imagine that you already have the job and you are being asked what to do by someone who doesnt know. So you are the teacher.

                              I wonder is any applicant even reading this thread? I noticed only vets replied.

                              Another interesting question that every oral asks, is what is the biggest problem facing police today? It is amazing how few people could realize the obvius simple answer. They all kept saying things like racial profiling and Rodney King, and I am thinking, wow is this the 90's? C'mon people think, its on the front page of every newspaper.
                              Originally posted by FJDave
                              GM, you have just set the bar that much higher for the rest of us in our witty, sarcastic responses. I yield to you! Good job, kind Sir!

                              District B13
                              "We are not cops nor Feds." yet he still poses as an officer Hmmmm


                              Grant us grace, fearlessly, to contend against evil and to make no peace with oppression.--WWII memorial

                              "I have loved justice and hated iniquity, therefore I die in exile."

                              Pope Gregory V II

                              Comment

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