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  • Haunting questions

    Can you cry under water?


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    How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?




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    Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?


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    Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?




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    Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


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    What disease did cured ham actually have?




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    How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?




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    Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?




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    If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?




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    Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?



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    Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?




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    Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.




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    Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?




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    Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?




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    If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?




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    Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?




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    If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?




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    Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!




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    If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?




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    If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?




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    If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?




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    Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?




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    Why did you just try singing the two songs above?




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    Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?



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    Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
    Rule #1 - If it doesn't change supper it's not worth the worry.
    Rule #10 - YOU ARE NOW THE MINORITY. This country is no longer the one your parents knew. You will not be able to understand it. You will not be able to change it. You must learn to live with it.

  • #2
    What color does a Smurf turn when you choke it?

    Comment


    • #3
      Why are there Braille buttons on a drive up ATM?
      When Society makes war on its police, it better be prepared to make friends of its criminals.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by PABear31 View Post
        Why are there Braille buttons on a drive up ATM?
        And how do blind people know where to "look" for the braille buttons?
        This profession is not for people looking for positive reinforcement from the public. Very often it can be a thankless job and you can't desire accolades, because those are not usually forthcoming. Just do your job to the best of your ability and live with the decisions you've made.

        Comment


        • #5
          If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
          I always wondered how he could drop the letter in and get the delivery, with no mail pick-up in between.
          If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

          ---Jack Handey

          Comment


          • #6
            Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

            Why did you just try singing the two songs above?


            AAARRRRGGGHHHH........You GOT ME!!! LOL!!
            Please note: Any assessment, assumption, attitude, conclusion, conjecture, feeling, guess', hypothesis, idea, inference, notion, sentiment, speculation, surmise', theory, thought or viewpoint that I put down is STRICTLY MINE! Remember that they do not represent the State of New York at any time!! At any time that NYS and I have the same viewpoints; they are strictly coincidental!!!

            Comment


            • #7
              Why do they call it a parkway when you drive on it and a driveway when you park on it?


              Why do 24 hour 7-Elevens have locks?

              Why do they call them apartments when they are all stuck together?


              Comment


              • #8
                Why are some crimes called hate crimes? As opposed to what.....love crimes?
                Jubilant Patriotic Republican

                America gave Obama the benefit of the doubt when they elected him. Obama is now giving America the doubt of the benefit of his governance......Change you can bereave in!..JPR

                Comment


                • #9
                  If there are AA batteries and AAA batteries, then why aren't there A batteries?
                  Jubilant Patriotic Republican

                  America gave Obama the benefit of the doubt when they elected him. Obama is now giving America the doubt of the benefit of his governance......Change you can bereave in!..JPR

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    If there are C batteries and D batteries why aren't there B batteries?
                    Jubilant Patriotic Republican

                    America gave Obama the benefit of the doubt when they elected him. Obama is now giving America the doubt of the benefit of his governance......Change you can bereave in!..JPR

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Who investigates the cororner's death?

                      Who investigates crashes at the Indy 500? If another driver is involved, and keeps doing laps, is it a hit and run?

                      Is it an arson when they set fire to the fire department practice building? How about if someone else sets fire to it?
                      As far as "rights" are concerned; I look at them this way... I don't tell you what church to go to, and you don't tell me what kind of firearm I can own...

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by CO4NYSsoon2bDI View Post
                        Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
                        You left out "Baa baa blacksheep."

                        And while we're at it...

                        Where does fat go, when you lose it?

                        Whe you're travelling at the speed of light and you turn the headlights on, do they come on?

                        Why is no satisfied worker ever described as a 'gruntled employee'?
                        "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

                        Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

                        Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          If Obama becomes president, would that make us an Obamanation?
                          Jubilant Patriotic Republican

                          America gave Obama the benefit of the doubt when they elected him. Obama is now giving America the doubt of the benefit of his governance......Change you can bereave in!..JPR

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            If you put the batteries in a flashlight backwards, then turn it on, will it suck all the light out of a room?
                            I fish; Therefore I am.
                            Even a fishstick once knew the glories of the deep.
                            No pain, No pleasure.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              No, I already tried...

                              Comment

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