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Hell explained by Chemistry Student

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  • aftermath
    replied
    Originally posted by BikeCop501 View Post
    Hell explained by Chemistry Student

    The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
    chemistry mid-term.

    The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
    with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have
    the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
    (absorbs heat)?

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
    cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

    One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
    to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
    they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
    to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
    many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that
    exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not
    a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than
    one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one
    religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death
    rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
    exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell
    because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure
    in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
    proportionately
    as souls are added.

    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
    enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
    all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
    Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
    that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
    into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two
    must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
    frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
    over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
    extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
    being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
    lmfao, that student better have gotten an A.

    Leave a comment:


  • BikeCop501
    started a topic Hell explained by Chemistry Student

    Hell explained by Chemistry Student

    Hell explained by Chemistry Student

    The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
    chemistry mid-term.

    The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
    with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have
    the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
    (absorbs heat)?

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
    cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

    One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
    to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
    they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
    to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
    many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that
    exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not
    a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than
    one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one
    religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death
    rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
    exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell
    because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure
    in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
    proportionately
    as souls are added.

    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
    enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
    all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
    Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
    that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
    into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two
    must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
    frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
    over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
    extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
    being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

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