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Anger management

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  • Anger management

    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
    it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out
    on someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered
    a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed
    it. A man answered, saying "Hello."

    I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn
    Carter?"

    Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing
    number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.

    I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down
    Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally
    transposed the last two digits.

    After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

    When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an *******!"
    and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word '*******' next to
    it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was
    paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell,
    "You're an *******!" It always cheered me up.


    When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic '*******'
    calling would have to stop.

    So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the
    telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our
    Caller ID Program?"

    He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back
    and said, "That's because you're an *******!" and hung up.

    One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking
    spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I
    had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been
    waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For
    Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

    A couple of days later, right after calling the first ******* (I had
    his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW
    *******, too.

    I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

    He said, "Yes, it is."

    I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"

    He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax It's a yellow
    rambler, and the car's parked right out in front."

    I asked, "What's your name?"

    He said, "My name is Don Hansen."

    I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

    He said, "I'm home every evening after five."

    I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

    He said, "Yes?"

    I said, "Don, you're an *******!" Then I hung up, and added his
    number to my speed dial, too.

    Now, when I had a problem, I had two *******s to call.
    Then I came up with an idea. I called ******* #1.

    He said, "Hello."

    I said, "You're an *******!" (but I didn't hang up).

    He asked, "Are you still there?"

    I said, "Yeah."

    He screamed, "Stop calling me!"

    I said, "Make me."

    He asked, "Who are you?"

    I said, "My name is Don Hansen."

    He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"

    I said, "*******, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax, a yellow
    rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front."

    He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
    saying your prayers."

    I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, *******," and hung up.

    Then I called ******* #2.

    He said, "Hello?"

    I said, "Hello, *******."

    He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

    I said, "You'll what?"

    He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ***!"

    I answered, "Well, *******, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
    now."

    Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived
    at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and that I was on my way over there
    to kill my gay lover.

    Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree
    Blvd. in Fairfax .

    I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax . I got there
    just in time to watch two *******s beating the crap out of each other
    in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded
    by a news crew.

    NOW I feel much better.

    Anger management really does work
    Why do we try so Hard for Little things, and so Little for Hard things?

    "There is no happiness without tears; no life without death. Beware, I will give you cause to weep"

    R.I.P Hand Sanitizer, you will be missed…

    Remember, Gay, Straight, Black, White, or HIV+, on this forum you're "Blue" and that's what matters most.

  • #2
    wow it does block all the bad words huh.. thats sad...
    Why do we try so Hard for Little things, and so Little for Hard things?

    "There is no happiness without tears; no life without death. Beware, I will give you cause to weep"

    R.I.P Hand Sanitizer, you will be missed…

    Remember, Gay, Straight, Black, White, or HIV+, on this forum you're "Blue" and that's what matters most.

    Comment


    • #3
      that's funny. thanks for sharing!
      -2Adam29... 10-8. Code-7

      Comment


      • #4
        Pretty funny 8) I like it.
        I disaprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. -Voltaire

        Comment


        • #5
          That's awesome! You just gave me an idea

          Comment

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