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  • Blonde jokes

    Before anyone gets uptight, my wife is blonde and laughed at these, so they're OK to post


    A blonde's BMW is towed into a gas station and she tells the mechanic it died.
    After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
    She says, "What's the story?"
    He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor."
    She asks, "And how often do I have to do that?"



    A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
    She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together.
    Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to
    show it to you!"



    A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn, so she rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
    Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name,
    can you hear it?"
    She thought for a minute and then asked, "Is it on or off?"


    AvgJoe
    Be careful, kids. Daddy's summer car is like the Ark of the Covanent - if you touch it, you will surely die.

  • #2
    My favorite blonde joke of all time

    I'm a blonde, so I'm allowed to post here!

    Question: What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?
    Answer: Last year's hide-and-go-seek winner!

    Comment


    • #3
      hehehehhe I like blonde jokes.....
      THE OTHER PLACE...A Forum to get away to

      Patience with ignorance

      Everyone is gay until proven striaght.

      I am the one you want and what you want is so unreal--M.M.

      When all of your wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be destroyed--M.M.

      Art may imitate life, but life imitates TV--Ani Difranco

      Comment


      • #4
        heheheheheh I am a blond joke.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by StephWhit
          heheheheheh I am a blond joke.

          you said it not us
          THE OTHER PLACE...A Forum to get away to

          Patience with ignorance

          Everyone is gay until proven striaght.

          I am the one you want and what you want is so unreal--M.M.

          When all of your wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be destroyed--M.M.

          Art may imitate life, but life imitates TV--Ani Difranco

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Photogrrlz
            you said it not us
            Yeah, I guess I really don't know where I was going with that..
            What a dumbass. LOL

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by StephWhit


              Yeah, I guess I really don't know where I was going with that..
              What a dumbass. LOL

              Once again you said it not us....
              THE OTHER PLACE...A Forum to get away to

              Patience with ignorance

              Everyone is gay until proven striaght.

              I am the one you want and what you want is so unreal--M.M.

              When all of your wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be destroyed--M.M.

              Art may imitate life, but life imitates TV--Ani Difranco

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Photogrrlz
                Once again you said it not us....

                SOB..when will I learn?......A need a beer.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I need a beer also....... maybe I will have one for a night cap
                  THE OTHER PLACE...A Forum to get away to

                  Patience with ignorance

                  Everyone is gay until proven striaght.

                  I am the one you want and what you want is so unreal--M.M.

                  When all of your wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be destroyed--M.M.

                  Art may imitate life, but life imitates TV--Ani Difranco

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Photogrrlz
                    I need a beer also....... maybe I will have one for a night cap
                    I'm planning on it..HyVee had a sale on Corona light...Survivor and Corona's! WWooo Hoooooooooooooooooooo

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I will stick with my bud light
                      THE OTHER PLACE...A Forum to get away to

                      Patience with ignorance

                      Everyone is gay until proven striaght.

                      I am the one you want and what you want is so unreal--M.M.

                      When all of your wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be destroyed--M.M.

                      Art may imitate life, but life imitates TV--Ani Difranco

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour.
                        "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?"
                        The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do."
                        "Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?"
                        The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out.
                          However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Q: Why did the blonde nurse bring a red marker to work?
                            A: In case she had to draw blood!

                            There were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde. They all worked together at an office.
                            Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too.
                            The boss left and so did they. The Brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The Red Head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date. The Blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left.
                            The next day, the Brunette and the Red Head are talking about going home early again. They ask the Blonde if she wants to leave early again.
                            "No," she says, "yesterday I nearly got caught!"

                            Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
                            A: It takes too long to retrain them.

                            Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
                            A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!

                            Q1 How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
                            A: There's white-out on the screen.
                            Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
                            A: There's writing on the white-out.

                            Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
                            A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

                            Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?
                            A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.

                            Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
                            A: For throwing out the W's.

                            Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
                            A: Branch Manager.

                            Q: What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?
                            A: One that never misses a period.

                            Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?
                            A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.

                            Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
                            A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.

                            Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her name tag) ?
                            A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"

                            Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
                            A: Branch Manager.

                            A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"

                            The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
                            "I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.

                            Q: Why won't they hire a blonde pharmacist?
                            A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.

                            Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
                            A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.

                            Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
                            A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.

                            Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
                            A: She has a checkbook.

                            Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
                            A: There is a stamp on it.

                            A blonde saw a "

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Blonde Guy joke!

                              Two blonde guys were working for the city works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole.

                              They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one guy digging a hole, the other guy filling it in again.

                              An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"

                              The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-man team. But today the guy who plants the trees got laid off."
                              Aude Sapere

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