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  • Hollywood Squares

    You may not remember the original Hollywood Squares but...

    If you remember the original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this will
    bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from
    the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous
    and clever.
    Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of ourse.

    Q. Do female frogs croak?

    A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

    Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should
    you be?
    A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

    Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
    A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

    Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or
    a woman?
    A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

    Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think
    that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's
    married?
    A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

    Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
    A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

    Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
    A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

    Q. What are "Do It," "I Can H elp," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
    A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

    Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your
    hands while talking?
    A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll
    give you a gesture you'll never forget.

    Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
    A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

    Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to
    get any during the first year?
    A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

    Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
    A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

    Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps
    - one is politics, what is the other?
    A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

    Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
    A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

    Q. Can boys join the CampFire Girls?
    A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

    Q. When you pat a dog on his head he will wag his tail.
    What will a goose do?
    A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

    Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
    A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

    Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into
    the habit of kissing a lot of people?
    A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

    Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo!
    Poo!" What does this mean?
    A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.

    Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
    A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.

    Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
    what was he trying to do?
    A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

    Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
    elephant?
    A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

    Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
    A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

    Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and
    has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
    A. Charley Weaver: His feet

    Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in
    bed?
    A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh
    "OBSTACLES ARE THOSE FRIGHTFUL THING YOU SEE WHEN YOU TAKE YOUR EYES OFF YOUR GOAL" HENRY FORD

  • #2
    Ofmg Lmaowrof
    Why do we try so Hard for Little things, and so Little for Hard things?

    "There is no happiness without tears; no life without death. Beware, I will give you cause to weep"

    R.I.P Hand Sanitizer, you will be missed…

    Remember, Gay, Straight, Black, White, or HIV+, on this forum you're "Blue" and that's what matters most.

    Comment


    • #3
      I watched a bunch of old episodes the other day. Paul Lynde is an absolute riot. Charley Weaver is great too.
      Bill Cosby: Stewie, what do you think candy is made out of?
      Stewie Griffin: Sunshine and farts! What the hell kind of question is that?!

      Comment

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