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2005 California DL application

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  • 2005 California DL application

    2005 CALIFORNIA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION
    Name: ___________________ Stage Name:__________________
    Agent: ___________________ Attorney:____________! ________
    Therapist's Name: _________________
    Sex:
    [ ] Male
    [ ] Female*
    [ ] Formerly Male
    [ ] Formerly Female
    [ ] Both
    *If female, indicate breast implant size: _______
    Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a
    motor vehicle in any way?
    [ ] Yes
    [ ] No
    Please list brand of cell phone: ________.
    If you don't own a cell phone, please explain why you don't:
    ______________________________________________
    (Use extra pages, if necessary)

    Please check hair color:
    Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
    Teenagers: [ ] Red [ ] Orange [ ] Green [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ]
    Skinhead [ ]
    Other ___________


    Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check all that
    apply)
    [ ] Eating
    [ ] Drinking Starbucks coffee
    [ ] Applying make-up
    [ ] Shaving (male or female)
    [X] Talking on the phone (already checked for your convenience)
    [ ] Lifting weights
    [ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
    [ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
    [ ] Tanning
    [ ] Snorting cocaine
    [ ] Watching TV
    [ ] Reading Variety
    [ ] Surfing the net via laptop
    [ ] Discharging firearms / reloading


    Please indicate how many times, while driving, you expect to:
    [ ] a) Shoot at other drivers ___
    [ ] b) Be shot at ___


    If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately:
    [ ] a) Call the police to report the crime.
    [ ] b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch your car on
    the news in a high-speed chase.
    [ ] c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone
    company for your 911 call not going through.
    [ ] d) Call your therapist.


    In the event of an earthquake, you should:
    [ ] a) Stop your car.
    [ ] b) Keep driving and hope for the best.
    [ ] c) Immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones.
    [ ] d) Pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9.


    In the instance of rain, you should:
    [ ] a) Never drive over 5 MPH.
    [ ] b) Drive twice as fast as usual.
    [ ] c) You're not sure what "rain" is.


    Please indicate your current number of therapy sessions per week:
    ________


    Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
    [ ] a) Prozac
    [ ] b) Zovirax
    [ ] c) Lithium
    [ ] d) Zanax
    [ ] e) Valium
    [ ] f) Medical pot
    [ ] g) Zoloft
    [ ] h) All of the above
    [ ] i) None of the above*
    * If none, please explain: __________________.


    Length of daily commute:
    [ ] a) Less than 1 hour*
    [ ] b) 1 hour
    [ ] c) 2 hours
    [ ] d) 3 hours
    [ ] e) 4 hours or more
    * If less than 1 hour, please explain:____________________.


    When stopped by police, you should:
    [ ] a) Pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form
    ready.
    [ ] b) Try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the freeway.
    [ ] c) Have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus
    ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit profit.


    When you see a woman driver with her arm extended out the window, it
    means:
    [ ] a) Her turn-signals are broken.
    [ ] b) She is giving an indication she intends to change lanes.
    [ ] c) She is drying her nails.


    Which part of your car will wear out first?
    [ ] a) The wiper blades
    [ ] b) The seat belts
    [ ] c) The horn


    Automatic door locks are good for:
    [ ] a) Security
    [ ] b) Convenience
    [ ] c) Messing with the heads of people trying to get in.


    The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:
    [ ] a) Dark, poorly lit roads
    [ ] b) Flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
    [ ] c) Revenge
    ''Life's tough......it's tougher if you're stupid.''
    -- John Wayne

  • #2
    What's so funny about that?











    lol
    Ok - where is the Spanish version?

    Comment


    • #3
      LMAO...

      That is hilarious,Tom. Thanks for sharing it.
      "A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives." - Jackie Robinson


      *UPDATED* Visited: 14 (Arizona Diamondbacks, L.A. Dodgers, L.A. Angels, S.D. Padres,Atlanta Braves, Tampa Bay Rays, Florida Marlins, N.Y. Yankees, N.Y. Mets, Boston Red Soxs, Washington Nationals,Seattle Mariners,Oakland A's and the S.F. Giants.)
      Not Yet Visited: 16
      Baseball Hall of Fame- Visited

      Comment

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