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  • Jokes So Stupid, They Make You Laugh

    Shoot wrong section. Mod, please delete this, sorry!

  • #2
    Jokes So Stupid, They Make You Laugh
    This thread.

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    • #3
      So, a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"



      I like cheese....
      Originally posted by RSGSRT
      We've reached a point where natural selection doesn't have a chance in hell of keeping up with the procreation of imbeciles.
      Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot, but not acceptable for me to point it out?

      Comment


      • #4
        I might get **** for this, but a black guy said this to me which made it funny.

        A lot of people want to have a white christmas. But I would rather have a white presidents day.
        Been chatting to a girl online. She's funny, sexy and flirty. Now she tells me she is an undercover cop! How cool is that at her age!?

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        • #5
          So an Irishman walks out of a bar.......
          --In serving the wicked, expect no reward, and be thankful if you escape injury for your pains.

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          • #6

            Q: What do you call a Bohemian who gets thrown out of a bar?

            A: A bounced Czech.

            The comments above reflect my personal opinion as a private citizen, ordinary motorist and all-around good guy.

            The aforementioned advice should not be construed to represent any type of professional opinion, legal counsel or other type of instruction with regard to traffic laws, judicial proceedings or official agency policy.

            ------------------------------------------------

            "Ignorance on fire is hotter than knowledge on ice."

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            • #7
              A turtle walks into a bar. The bartender immediately picks him up and throws him down the street. Two weeks later, a turtle walks into a bar. Before the bartender can move a muscle, the turtle asks him, "What the hell did you do that for?!"
              Last edited by CptCAV; 09-03-2011, 07:34 PM. Reason: spelling

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              • #8
                An oldie but a goodie.

                A blonde goes to a doctors office and tells him that there's something wrong - everywhere she touches on her body, it hurts. She touches her knee, her leg, her elbow, her shoulder, her head, and it ALWAYS hurts!

                The doctor looks at her, looks at her finger, and tells her with a straight face: "That's because you have a broken finger."

                Here's another one:

                Superman is flying around town one day. He sees Spiderman and waves to him. He sees Aquaman and waves to him. He then sees Wonderwoman laying naked on the roof of a building, so he goes down to investigate. She looks like she really wants some lovin', ready to go with her eyes closed, so he tears off his outfit and gives her the best sex of her life. A few minutes later he then puts back on his outfit and flies off.

                Wonderwoman then opens her eyes and says, "Did you hear something?"

                Just then the Invisible Man says, "Yeah, it was Superman just flying off, and boy is my a** sore!"
                Originally posted by RSGSRT
                We've reached a point where natural selection doesn't have a chance in hell of keeping up with the procreation of imbeciles.
                Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot, but not acceptable for me to point it out?

                Comment


                • #9
                  The corniest joke ever (seriously):

                  A duck walks into a hardware store and asks the guy behind the counter, "Got any corn?"

                  The man replies, "Well, no, this is a hardware store. We don't sell corn here."

                  The next day, the duck walks back into the same store and asks the man again, "Got any corn?"

                  The man again replies, "No. Like I told you yesterday, we do NOT sell corn here and we're not about to start."

                  The following day, the duck again walks into the store, looks at the man and asks, "Got any corn?"

                  The man, incensed by the duck's question, yells at the duck, "NO! WE DO NOT HAVE CORN, WE'RE NOT GETTING ANY CORN, AND IF YOU COME IN HERE AND ASK ME THAT QUESTION AGAIN, I'M GOING TO NAIL YOUR [email protected] BEAK SHUT!!!"

                  The next again, the duck again walks into the hardware store. The man feels his face beginning to flush and his temper rise. The duck looks at the man and asks, "Ya got any nails?"

                  Taken by surprise, the man stumbles through his reply, "Umm, no, actually we don't. We're out right now, but the truck should be here tomorrow."

                  To which the duck responds, "Got any corn?"
                  “We don't disagree, you are wrong. Until you have a clue what you are talking about we can't disagree.” - cgh6366

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                  • #10
                    Two muffins are in the oven.

                    One muffin says to the other, "Man, its hot in here."

                    The other muffins says, "OH MY GOD! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
                    Originally posted by kontemplerande
                    Without Germany, you would not have won World War 2.

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                    • #11
                      A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm lookin' for the guy who shot my paw..."
                      MAC

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by AFoamFootball View Post
                        Shoot wrong section. Mod, please delete this, sorry!
                        Do you actually believe a mod checks every post.........................NOT.
                        Since some people need to be told by notes in crayon .......Don't PM me with without prior permission. If you can't discuss the situation in the open forum ----it must not be that important

                        My new word for the day is FOCUS, when someone irritates you tell them to FOCUS

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                        • #13
                          What do you call a dog with no legs? Nothing, hes not gonna come to you even if you call him.
                          Ask them, Tell them, Make them.

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                          • #14
                            Bacon and eggs walk into a bar. The bartender says, "sorry, we don 't serve breakfast."
                            Everybody counts or no one counts.
                            -Harry Bosch



                            Some of you may remember that in my early days I was sort of a bleeding heart liberal. Then I became a man and put away childish things.
                            -Ronald Reagan

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by FiVo3 View Post
                              What do you call a dog with no legs? Nothing, hes not gonna come to you even if you call him.
                              LMAO!! That one actually brought tears to my eyes I was laughing so hard!
                              Originally posted by RSGSRT
                              We've reached a point where natural selection doesn't have a chance in hell of keeping up with the procreation of imbeciles.
                              Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot, but not acceptable for me to point it out?

                              Comment

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