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My first condom

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  • My first condom

    I recall my first time with a condom. I was 16. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at Burrin's pharmacy. In those days it took a lot of guts to go in a store and ask for that kind of item because everyone in town knew me and there was no doubt the young lady (I think her name was Delores) knew what they were for. She was working as an assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was really embarrassed by the whole procedure. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, 'No, not really.' So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb.

    She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it were empty. It was. 'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. 'Do these excite you?' She asked.

    Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was stand there with my mouth open and nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. 'Well, come on', she said, 'We don't have much time.' So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful that, unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few moments. She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that condom on?' she asked. I said, 'sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.

    She then beat the **** out of me....


    Women have always been hard for me to figure out.
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    'Do we really need 'smart bombs' to drop on these dumb bastards?'

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  • #2
    LMAO That's Great
    MDRDEP:

    There are no stupid questions, but there sure are a lot of inquisitive idiots.

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    • #3
      LOL

      I'll admit, I'm still uncomfortable buying them. If it's a guy (or a woman that's old, fat, and/or ugly) then it's not problem. But I just feel creepy buying them from the cute girl cashiers. And with the huge college-age population in this town, way too many of them are. I've several times walked into one drug store, seen the cashier, and walked right back out to go to another one.

      Maybe I'm just weird, though.
      Lt. Col. Grace - "Lt. Murphey, why are you all dressed up to mack on the ladies?"
      Me - "Sir, you just answered your own question."

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      • #4
        Do you remember the serial number on your first one? I do.
        Pete Malloy, "The only thing black and white about this job is the car."

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        • #5
          I love walking up to the very old ladies at the counters. Priceless!

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          • #6
            . But I just feel creepy buying them from the cute girl cashiers
            .

            Dude you just need to smile and wink at them as your buying them. You never know she may be thinking " He must have something going on, someone's boinking him" LMAO
            MDRDEP:

            There are no stupid questions, but there sure are a lot of inquisitive idiots.

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            • #7
              I just took a golf tee out of my club bag, put some superglue on it and inserted it into my
              Ignore List : Bearcat357, Blackavar

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              • #8
                awesome zeplin..lol

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Murf425 View Post
                  LOL

                  I'll admit, I'm still uncomfortable buying them. If it's a guy (or a woman that's old, fat, and/or ugly) then it's not problem. But I just feel creepy buying them from the cute girl cashiers. And with the huge college-age population in this town, way too many of them are. I've several times walked into one drug store, seen the cashier, and walked right back out to go to another one.

                  Maybe I'm just weird, though.
                  I guess that's where self checkouts become a good thing.
                  Life is what you make of it

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by OneAdam12 View Post
                    Do you remember the serial number on your first one? I do.
                    he doesnt remember.. didnt have to roll it out that far (steals joke)

                    I havnt used a condom in like 3-4 years.. sheesh
                    Gotta catch em allll.........

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Murf425 View Post
                      LOL

                      I'll admit, I'm still uncomfortable buying them. If it's a guy (or a woman that's old, fat, and/or ugly) then it's not problem. But I just feel creepy buying them from the cute girl cashiers. And with the huge college-age population in this town, way too many of them are. I've several times walked into one drug store, seen the cashier, and walked right back out to go to another one.

                      Maybe I'm just weird, though.
                      I remember one time in college I went through the checkout line with only condoms, gunpowder, and advil on the belt. Really cute cashier gave me some strange looks, I can only imagine she was trying to figure out what I had planned. (in reality they all just happened to be separate things I needed)

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by major g View Post
                        I remember one time in college I went through the checkout line with only condoms, gunpowder, and advil on the belt. Really cute cashier gave me some strange looks, I can only imagine she was trying to figure out what I had planned. (in reality they all just happened to be separate things I needed)
                        The gunpowder and condoms are for the night and advil is for the hangover the next morning. You can't fool me! I'm onto your plan there major g!!!
                        Reputation & Truth

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                        • #13
                          [QUOTE=SBSO_DISPATCHER;2772301]he doesnt remember.. didnt have to roll it out that far (steals joke)


                          That's a burn.
                          Electric Avenue.

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