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  • Rabbi

    At the regular Saturday morning service, the rabbi announced that he was planning to leave for a larger congregation that would pay him more.
    There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.

    Fred Shapiro, who owns several car dealerships in Newton and Brookline , stands up and proclaims "If the rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!" The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

    Saul Cohen, a successful businessman and lawyer, stands and says, "If the rabbi will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee a free college education for his children!"
    More sighs and loud applause.

    Estelle Rubin, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, "If the rabbi stays, I will give him sex!"
    There is total silence. The rabbi, blushing, asks her: "Mrs. Rubin, you're a wonderful and holy lady. Whatever possessed you to say that?"

    Estelle's 90-year old husband, Abe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies: "Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, "F him."

  • #2
    haha................!
    Dispatch: "All units be advised, he's on foot in a red dodge pick up truck."
    Me: "Ummm, control..."

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