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Subject: Marriage, Marriage......and More Marriage


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  • Subject: Marriage, Marriage......and More Marriage

    I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
    -David Bissonette

    When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
    -Sacha Guitry

    After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
    -Hemant Joshi

    By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

    Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

    The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"
    -Sigmund Freud

    I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

    Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
    -Henny Youngman

    I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
    -Sam Kinison

    There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
    -James Holt McGavran

    I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.
    -Patrick Murray

    Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
    1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
    2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

    The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

    You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
    -Henny Youngman

    My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
    -Rodney Dangerfield

    A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
    -Milton Berle

    Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

    A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."


    It's not the size of the man in the fight, but the fight in the man!!!!!!!!!
    " Not Sure Who Said It"

  • #2
    "a band is blowing Dixie double four time You feel alright when you hear the music ring"

    The real deal

    Outshined Pujulesfan Bearcat Chitowndet Sgt Slaughter jthorpe M-11 Lt Borelli L-1Sgt CHP Nikk Smurf Presence1 IcecoldblueyesKimble LADEP ateamer ChiCity R.A.B. Jenners IrishMetal GoldBadge willowdared Monkeybomb PhilipCal pullicords Chit2001 Garbageman Narco CruiserClass Fuzz 10-42Trooper Tex4720 irishlad2nv bajakirch OnThe gurmpyirishmanNYIlliniSgtScott31 CityCopDCcgh6366 FJDave


    • #3
      Dispatch: "All units be advised, he's on foot in a red dodge pick up truck."
      Me: "Ummm, control..."


      • #4
        Loved it! Thanks


        • #5
          What about the 3 RINGS:
          1. The engagement RING
          2. The wedding RING
          3. The sufferRING

          #3 is the only one that lasts forever.....
          ""Liberals are liberal until something happens to them or someone they love, then they want the rules to change"


          • #6
            Dispatch: "All units be advised, he's on foot in a red dodge pick up truck."
            Me: "Ummm, control..."


            • #7
              Quite often I am told "A Happy wife equals a happy life".

              One of these days I'll use that saying as a mantra and then if I say it often enough, I might just start believing it.
              If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence of your attempt.


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