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  • My brand new truck

    I bought a new Ford F250 and returned to the dealer yesterday because I couldn't get the radio to work. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

    'Nelson,' the salesman said to the radio. The radio replied, 'Ricky or Willie?'

    'Willie!' he continued and 'On The Road Again' came from the speakers.

    Then he said, 'Ray Charles!', and in an instant ' Georgia On My Mind' replaced Willie Nelson.

    I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I' say, 'Beethoven,' I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, 'Beatles,' I'd get one of their awesome songs.

    Yesterday, some blankety-blanks ran a red light and nearly creamed my new truck, but I swerved in time to avoid them. I yelled, 'A--H----S!'

    Immediately the Iranian National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on Scotch.

    Damn, I LOVE this truck!
    "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

    Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

    Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

  • #2
    HAHAHAHA!!! now THAT funny!!!
    "Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care." - Theodore Roosevelt

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